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Erma Bombeck Quotes

Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It’s like stealing a two-year-old Picture Quote #1

I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent Picture Quote #1

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he’s a priest Picture Quote #1

You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism Picture Quote #1

Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you Picture Quote #1

Housework, if you do it right, will kill you Picture Quote #1

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It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else Picture Quote #1

After age twelve, birthdays should be as private as hernia surgery Picture Quote #1

A small waist makes you tire easily Picture Quote #1

If the nest is truly empty, who owns all this junk? Picture Quote #1

How come anything you buy will go on sale next week? Picture Quote #1

Why take pride in cooking, when they don’t take pride in eating? Picture Quote #1

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When you’re an orthodox worrier, some days are worse than others Picture Quote #1

Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other Picture Quote #1

There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child Picture Quote #1

Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty two years of child raising, they are unemployed Picture Quote #1

In general, my children refused to eat anything that hadn't danced on TV Picture Quote #1

Children make your life important Picture Quote #1

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My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance Picture Quote #1

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth Picture Quote #1

With boys, you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane Picture Quote #1

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat Picture Quote #1

Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely Picture Quote #1

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage Picture Quote #1

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Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown Picture Quote #1

Never have more children than you have car windows Picture Quote #1

Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket Picture Quote #1

I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along Picture Quote #1

I’m so bored. I went to the food locker yesterday to visit my meat Picture Quote #1

When humor goes, there goes civilization Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It’s like stealing a two-year-old (Erma Bombeck Quotes) I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent (Erma Bombeck Quotes) A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he’s a priest (Erma Bombeck Quotes) You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism (Erma Bombeck Quotes) Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you. (Erma Bombeck Quotes) Housework, if you do it right, will kill you (Erma Bombeck Quotes) It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else (Erma Bombeck Quotes) After age twelve, birthdays should be as private as hernia surgery (Erma Bombeck Quotes) A small waist makes you tire easily (Erma Bombeck Quotes) If the nest is truly empty, who owns all this junk? (Erma Bombeck Quotes) How come anything you buy will go on sale next week? (Erma Bombeck Quotes) Why take pride in cooking, when they don’t take pride in eating? (Erma Bombeck Quotes) When you’re an orthodox worrier, some days are worse than others (Erma Bombeck Quotes) Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other (Erma Bombeck Quotes) There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child (Erma Bombeck Quotes) Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty two years of child raising, they are unemployed (Erma Bombeck Quotes) In general, my children refused to eat anything that hadn't danced on TV (Erma Bombeck Quotes) Children make your life important (Erma Bombeck Quotes) My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance (Erma Bombeck Quotes) Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth (Erma Bombeck Quotes) With boys, you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane (Erma Bombeck Quotes) A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat (Erma Bombeck Quotes) Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely (Erma Bombeck Quotes) I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage (Erma Bombeck Quotes) Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown (Erma Bombeck Quotes) Never have more children than you have car windows (Erma Bombeck Quotes) Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket (Erma Bombeck Quotes) I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along (Erma Bombeck Quotes) I’m so bored. I went to the food locker yesterday to visit my meat (Erma Bombeck Quotes) When humor goes, there goes civilization (Erma Bombeck Quotes)

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