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Dennis Miller Quotes

I lapsed into rude Picture Quote #1

At one time, washington actually meant something. But now, it's about as relevant as Bob Dylan's tuning fork Picture Quote #1

To me, nature always appears more unbalanced than Gary Busey with a clogged Eustachian tube Picture Quote #1

Two wrongs may not make a right, but a thousand wrongs make a writer Picture Quote #1

The funny thing is, Dennis Miller got me back into comedy Picture Quote #1

What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then we turn on a dime and we immediately start taking care of people. It's like a shock and aw shucks campaign Picture Quote #1

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I didn't know my Dad - he moved out early. And my mom's politics were kind of hardscrabble. She didn't think about Democrats or Republicans. She thought about who made sense. I've been both in my life Picture Quote #1

Just put down 9/11. I think, on most things I'm liberal, except on defending ourselves and keeping half the money. Those things I'm kind of conservative on Picture Quote #1

I think the American legal system sucks worse than a Celine Dion cover version of Whole Lotta Love Picture Quote #1

We're not allowed to do anything to nature anymore, except look at it. It's like porn with leaves Picture Quote #1

Forbes magazine has named Mel Gibson this year's most powerful celebrity... Forbes' least powerful celebrity? You're looking at him. Screw this guy... Bad guy Picture Quote #1

The first half dozen or so will be nice, but after that, I'm going to want a pro Picture Quote #1

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You know, folks, the French have always been reluctant to surrender to the wishes of their friends, and almost anticipatory in their urge to surrender to the wishes of their enemies Picture Quote #1

I don't have credibility, I'm a comedian. I'm not Ed Murrow up on the roof in a London fog reporting on the blitz Picture Quote #1

Listen, the weather is just like Hillary's explanation for her war vote: we just don't know, do we? Picture Quote #1

If you get to be thirty five and your job still involves wearing a name tag, you've probably made a serious vocational error Picture Quote #1

Trends don't mean anything to me. If I like something, I'll do it. If I don't, I won't do it, and I wouldn't care if everybody in the country mocked me Picture Quote #1

There’s no doubt about it, show business lures the people who didn’t get enough love, attention, or approval early in life and have grown up to become bottomless, gaping vessels of terrifying, abject need. Please laugh Picture Quote #1

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Any time your parent says they party with you, that is its own form of child abuse Picture Quote #1

Women don’t like guys who are dangerous. Women just want us to think that because women are trying to kill us Picture Quote #1

In the late twentieth century, staying sober has become just as much an addiction as getting wasted Picture Quote #1

Now, personally, I am baffled by the concept of racial prejudice. Why hate someone based on the color of their skin when, if you take the time to get to know them as a human being, you can find so many other things to hate them for? Picture Quote #1

I’m actually equal parts cynicism and apathy. I’m always willing to believe the worst as long as it doesn’t take too much effort Picture Quote #1

I have sympathy for any human being that’s driven by their limbic part of their brain. We all know that exists in a person Picture Quote #1

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I have a nice house. And when somebody says it’s a palace, I always feel like we’re digging a little or something Picture Quote #1

I’m glad I don’t have a lot of money in the market. And quite frankly, you’d be better off giving your money to a colorblind roulette addict than put it in the stock market Picture Quote #1

Homosexuals are entering the mainstream, because they’re becoming as boring and as tedious as any other splinter group Picture Quote #1

Half the people I look who are health food addicts look sickly to me. Let’s start taxing health food. Somebody force a burger down some of these people’s jaw because they look a little pale and wan to me Picture Quote #1

I had fun pretending to be a sportscaster. People always think that was a down thing for me. I had the best job in sports broadcasting for two years Picture Quote #1

There’s nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you’re insightful about it Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

I lapsed into rude (Dennis Miller Quotes) At one time, washington actually meant something. But now, it's about as relevant as Bob Dylan's tuning fork (Dennis Miller Quotes) To me, nature always appears more unbalanced than Gary Busey with a clogged Eustachian tube (Dennis Miller Quotes) Two wrongs may not make a right, but a thousand wrongs make a writer (Dennis Miller Quotes) The funny thing is, Dennis Miller got me back into comedy (Dennis Miller Quotes) What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then we turn on a dime and we immediately start taking care of people. It's like a shock and aw shucks campaign (Dennis Miller Quotes) I didn't know my Dad - he moved out early. And my mom's politics were kind of hardscrabble. She didn't think about Democrats or Republicans. She thought about who made sense. I've been both in my life (Dennis Miller Quotes) Just put down 9/11. I think, on most things I'm liberal, except on defending ourselves and keeping half the money. Those things I'm kind of conservative on (Dennis Miller Quotes) I think the American legal system sucks worse than a Celine Dion cover version of Whole Lotta Love (Dennis Miller Quotes) We're not allowed to do anything to nature anymore, except look at it. It's like porn with leaves (Dennis Miller Quotes) Forbes magazine has named Mel Gibson this year's most powerful celebrity... Forbes' least powerful celebrity? You're looking at him. Screw this guy... Bad guy (Dennis Miller Quotes) The first half dozen or so will be nice, but after that, I'm going to want a pro (Dennis Miller Quotes) You know, folks, the French have always been reluctant to surrender to the wishes of their friends, and almost anticipatory in their urge to surrender to the wishes of their enemies (Dennis Miller Quotes) I don't have credibility, I'm a comedian. I'm not Ed Murrow up on the roof in a London fog reporting on the blitz (Dennis Miller Quotes) Listen, the weather is just like Hillary's explanation for her war vote: we just don't know, do we? (Dennis Miller Quotes) If you get to be thirty five and your job still involves wearing a name tag, you've probably made a serious vocational error (Dennis Miller Quotes) Trends don't mean anything to me. If I like something, I'll do it. If I don't, I won't do it, and I wouldn't care if everybody in the country mocked me (Dennis Miller Quotes) There’s no doubt about it, show business lures the people who didn’t get enough love, attention, or approval early in life and have grown up to become bottomless, gaping vessels of terrifying, abject need. Please laugh (Dennis Miller Quotes) Any time your parent says they party with you, that is its own form of child abuse (Dennis Miller Quotes) Women don’t like guys who are dangerous. Women just want us to think that because women are trying to kill us (Dennis Miller Quotes) In the late twentieth century, staying sober has become just as much an addiction as getting wasted (Dennis Miller Quotes) Now, personally, I am baffled by the concept of racial prejudice. Why hate someone based on the color of their skin when, if you take the time to get to know them as a human being, you can find so many other things to hate them for? (Dennis Miller Quotes) I’m actually equal parts cynicism and apathy. I’m always willing to believe the worst as long as it doesn’t take too much effort (Dennis Miller Quotes) I have sympathy for any human being that’s driven by their limbic part of their brain. We all know that exists in a person (Dennis Miller Quotes) I have a nice house. And when somebody says it’s a palace, I always feel like we’re digging a little or something (Dennis Miller Quotes) I’m glad I don’t have a lot of money in the market. And quite frankly, you’d be better off giving your money to a colorblind roulette addict than put it in the stock market (Dennis Miller Quotes) Homosexuals are entering the mainstream, because they’re becoming as boring and as tedious as any other splinter group (Dennis Miller Quotes) Half the people I look who are health food addicts look sickly to me. Let’s start taxing health food. Somebody force a burger down some of these people’s jaw because they look a little pale and wan to me (Dennis Miller Quotes) I had fun pretending to be a sportscaster. People always think that was a down thing for me. I had the best job in sports broadcasting for two years (Dennis Miller Quotes) There’s nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you’re insightful about it (Dennis Miller Quotes)

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