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Robert Benchley Quotes

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing Picture Quote #1

I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine Picture Quote #1

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini? Picture Quote #1

Behind every argument is someone's ignorance Picture Quote #1

Work is a form of nervousness Picture Quote #1

This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises, promotions, and other signs of appreciation Picture Quote #1

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There is no such place as Budapest. Perhaps you are thinking of Bucharest, and there is no such place as Bucharest, either Picture Quote #1

If you think that you have caught a cold, call in a good doctor. Call in three good doctors and play bridge Picture Quote #1

Birds which are the same color as the foliage in which they nest are less likely to be disturbed by other birds who want to drop in and chat, and therefore last longer Picture Quote #1

The most common of all antagonisms arises from a man's taking a seat beside you on the train, a seat to which he is completely entitled Picture Quote #1

Infants need the most sleep, and, what is more, get it. Stunning them with a soft, padded hammer is the best way to insure their getting it at the right times Picture Quote #1

My only solution for the problem of habitual accidents is to stay in bed all day. Even then, there is always the chance that you will fall out Picture Quote #1

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The naturalistic literature of this country has reached such a state that no family of characters is considered true to life which does not include at least two hypochondriacs, one sadist, and one old man who spills food down the front of his vest Picture Quote #1

It has always seemed to me that the most difficult part of building a bridge would be the start Picture Quote #1

Central Park is the grandiose symbol of the front yard each child in New York hasn't got Picture Quote #1

A man may take care of a furnace for twenty-five years and still forget to duck his head when he starts going down the cellar stairs Picture Quote #1

Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother who lets him have one Picture Quote #1

It was one of those plays in which all of the actors unfortunately enunciated very clearly Picture Quote #1

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If there is a streak of ham anywhere in an actor, Shakespeare will bring it out Picture Quote #1

You won’t find one fish in a million that has enough sense to come in when it rains Picture Quote #1

The pencil sharpener is about as far as I have ever got in operating a complicated piece of machinery with any success Picture Quote #1

The Great Arizona Desert is full of the bleaching bones of people who waited for me to start something Picture Quote #1

If you look at eggs, you will see that each one is almost round but not quite... Nature's way of distinguishing eggs from large golf balls Picture Quote #1

There is probably no moment more appalling than that in which the tongue comes suddenly upon the ragged edge of a space from which the old familiar filling has disappeared Picture Quote #1

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One of the easiest forms of pretense to break down is the pretense of enthusiasm for exotic foods. Just bring on the exotic foods Picture Quote #1

You want to go easy on the suicide stuff - first thing you know, you'll ruin your health Picture Quote #1

You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it Picture Quote #1

Great literature must spring from an upheaval in the author's soul. If that upheaval is not present then it must come from the works of any other author which happens to be handy and easily adapted Picture Quote #1

For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting Picture Quote #1

Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous Picture Quote #1

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Text Quotes

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing (Robert Benchley Quotes) I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine (Robert Benchley Quotes) Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini? (Robert Benchley Quotes) Behind every argument is someone's ignorance (Robert Benchley Quotes) Work is a form of nervousness (Robert Benchley Quotes) This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises, promotions, and other signs of appreciation (Robert Benchley Quotes) There is no such place as Budapest. Perhaps you are thinking of Bucharest, and there is no such place as Bucharest, either (Robert Benchley Quotes) If you think that you have caught a cold, call in a good doctor. Call in three good doctors and play bridge (Robert Benchley Quotes) Birds which are the same color as the foliage in which they nest are less likely to be disturbed by other birds who want to drop in and chat, and therefore last longer (Robert Benchley Quotes) The most common of all antagonisms arises from a man's taking a seat beside you on the train, a seat to which he is completely entitled (Robert Benchley Quotes) Infants need the most sleep, and, what is more, get it. Stunning them with a soft, padded hammer is the best way to insure their getting it at the right times (Robert Benchley Quotes) My only solution for the problem of habitual accidents is to stay in bed all day. Even then, there is always the chance that you will fall out (Robert Benchley Quotes) The naturalistic literature of this country has reached such a state that no family of characters is considered true to life which does not include at least two hypochondriacs, one sadist, and one old man who spills food down the front of his vest (Robert Benchley Quotes) It has always seemed to me that the most difficult part of building a bridge would be the start (Robert Benchley Quotes) Central Park is the grandiose symbol of the front yard each child in New York hasn't got (Robert Benchley Quotes) A man may take care of a furnace for twenty-five years and still forget to duck his head when he starts going down the cellar stairs (Robert Benchley Quotes) Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother who lets him have one (Robert Benchley Quotes) It was one of those plays in which all of the actors unfortunately enunciated very clearly (Robert Benchley Quotes) If there is a streak of ham anywhere in an actor, Shakespeare will bring it out (Robert Benchley Quotes) You won’t find one fish in a million that has enough sense to come in when it rains (Robert Benchley Quotes) The pencil sharpener is about as far as I have ever got in operating a complicated piece of machinery with any success (Robert Benchley Quotes) The Great Arizona Desert is full of the bleaching bones of people who waited for me to start something (Robert Benchley Quotes) If you look at eggs, you will see that each one is almost round but not quite... Nature's way of distinguishing eggs from large golf balls (Robert Benchley Quotes) There is probably no moment more appalling than that in which the tongue comes suddenly upon the ragged edge of a space from which the old familiar filling has disappeared (Robert Benchley Quotes) One of the easiest forms of pretense to break down is the pretense of enthusiasm for exotic foods. Just bring on the exotic foods (Robert Benchley Quotes) You want to go easy on the suicide stuff - first thing you know, you'll ruin your health (Robert Benchley Quotes) You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it (Robert Benchley Quotes) Great literature must spring from an upheaval in the author's soul. If that upheaval is not present then it must come from the works of any other author which happens to be handy and easily adapted (Robert Benchley Quotes) For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting (Robert Benchley Quotes) Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous (Robert Benchley Quotes)

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