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Robert Benchley Quotes

At fifteen one is first beginning to realize that everything isn't money and power in this world, and is casting about for joys that do not turn to dross in one's hands Picture Quote #1

Anyone who tries to keep track of what is happening in China is going to end up by wearing all the skin of his left ear from twirling around on it Picture Quote #1

Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment Picture Quote #1

An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens Picture Quote #1

After an author has been dead for some time, it becomes increasingly difficult for his publishers to get a new book out of him each year Picture Quote #1

A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated Picture Quote #1

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A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down Picture Quote #1

I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left behind by departing patients than those of any other author Picture Quote #1

There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them Picture Quote #1

It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous Picture Quote #1

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well Picture Quote #1

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down Picture Quote #1

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A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death Picture Quote #1

There is probably no more obnoxious class of citizen, taken end for end, than the returning vacationist Picture Quote #1

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other Picture Quote #1

England and America should scrap cricket and baseball and come up with a new game that they both can play. Like baseball, for example Picture Quote #1

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony Picture Quote #1

I can't bring myself to say, 'Well, I guess I'll be toddling along.' It isn't that I can't toddle. It's just that I can't guess I'll toddle Picture Quote #1

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It is rather to be chosen than great riches, unless I have omitted something from the quotation Picture Quote #1

There may be said to be two classes of people in the world; those who constantly divide the people of the world into two classes, and those who do not Picture Quote #1

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous Picture Quote #1

I am more the inspirational type of speller. I work on hunches rather than mere facts, and the result is sometimes open to criticism by purists Picture Quote #1

The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him. That remark in itself wouldn't make any sense if quoted as it stands. The average man ought to be allowed a quotation of no less than three sentences, one to make his statement and two to explain what he meant. Ralph Waldo Emerson was about the only one who could stand having his utterances broken up into sentence quotations, and every once in a while even he doesn't sound so sensible in short snatches Picture Quote #1

I don't want to be an alarmist, but I think that the younger generation is up to something... I base my apprehension on nothing more definite than the fact that they are always coming in and going out of the house, without any apparent reason Picture Quote #1

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One of the chief duties of the fan is to engage in arguments with the man behind him. This department of the game has been allowed to run down fearfully Picture Quote #1

I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one that tears open your collar and throws your hair into your eyes, is really one of life's sensational pleasures Picture Quote #1

There are two kinds of people in the world, those who believe there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don't Picture Quote #1

Breaking the ice in the pitcher seems to be a feature of the early lives of all great men Picture Quote #1

As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did Picture Quote #1

We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs we can and can't take by a man at a hotel door, simply because he has a drum major's uniform on Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

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Text Quotes

At fifteen one is first beginning to realize that everything isn't money and power in this world, and is casting about for joys that do not turn to dross in one's hands (Robert Benchley Quotes) Anyone who tries to keep track of what is happening in China is going to end up by wearing all the skin of his left ear from twirling around on it (Robert Benchley Quotes) Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment (Robert Benchley Quotes) An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens (Robert Benchley Quotes) After an author has been dead for some time, it becomes increasingly difficult for his publishers to get a new book out of him each year (Robert Benchley Quotes) A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated (Robert Benchley Quotes) A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down (Robert Benchley Quotes) I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left behind by departing patients than those of any other author (Robert Benchley Quotes) There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them (Robert Benchley Quotes) It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous (Robert Benchley Quotes) I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well (Robert Benchley Quotes) A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down (Robert Benchley Quotes) A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death (Robert Benchley Quotes) There is probably no more obnoxious class of citizen, taken end for end, than the returning vacationist (Robert Benchley Quotes) Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other (Robert Benchley Quotes) England and America should scrap cricket and baseball and come up with a new game that they both can play. Like baseball, for example (Robert Benchley Quotes) Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony (Robert Benchley Quotes) I can't bring myself to say, 'Well, I guess I'll be toddling along.' It isn't that I can't toddle. It's just that I can't guess I'll toddle (Robert Benchley Quotes) It is rather to be chosen than great riches, unless I have omitted something from the quotation (Robert Benchley Quotes) There may be said to be two classes of people in the world; those who constantly divide the people of the world into two classes, and those who do not (Robert Benchley Quotes) It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous (Robert Benchley Quotes) I am more the inspirational type of speller. I work on hunches rather than mere facts, and the result is sometimes open to criticism by purists (Robert Benchley Quotes) The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him. That remark in itself wouldn't make any sense if quoted as it stands. The average man ought to be allowed a quotation of no less than three sentences, one to make his statement and two to explain what he meant. Ralph Waldo Emerson was about the only one who could stand having his utterances broken up into sentence quotations, and every once in a while even he doesn't sound so sensible in short snatches (Robert Benchley Quotes) I don't want to be an alarmist, but I think that the younger generation is up to something... I base my apprehension on nothing more definite than the fact that they are always coming in and going out of the house, without any apparent reason (Robert Benchley Quotes) One of the chief duties of the fan is to engage in arguments with the man behind him. This department of the game has been allowed to run down fearfully (Robert Benchley Quotes) I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one that tears open your collar and throws your hair into your eyes, is really one of life's sensational pleasures (Robert Benchley Quotes) There are two kinds of people in the world, those who believe there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don't (Robert Benchley Quotes) Breaking the ice in the pitcher seems to be a feature of the early lives of all great men (Robert Benchley Quotes) As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did (Robert Benchley Quotes) We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs we can and can't take by a man at a hotel door, simply because he has a drum major's uniform on (Robert Benchley Quotes)

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