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Rita Rudner Quotes

You had me at hello - Love Quotes
If cats could talk, they wouldn't - Cat Quotes
Having you in my life made everything better - Love Quotes
A girl doesn't need anyone who doesn't need her - Marilyn Monroe Quotes
What a beautiful world it would be if people had hearts like dogs - Dog Quotes
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results - Albert Einstein Quotes
Money may not buy happiness, but it's better to cry in a Lamborghini - Funny Quotes
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work - Fail Quotes
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Text Quotes
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult  (Rita Rudner Quotes) Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside  (Rita Rudner Quotes) If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires  (Rita Rudner Quotes) Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture  (Rita Rudner Quotes) I don’t look back. I’m like a shark - I only look forward  (Rita Rudner Quotes) I love to write jokes and that’s all I think about  (Rita Rudner Quotes) All men look nerdy in black socks and sandals  (Rita Rudner Quotes) Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps  (Rita Rudner Quotes) Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit  (Rita Rudner Quotes) When four or more men get together, they talk about sports  (Rita Rudner Quotes) I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight  (Rita Rudner Quotes) In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk  (Rita Rudner Quotes) Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony  (Rita Rudner Quotes) Men who write love letters don’t live in this century  (Rita Rudner Quotes) All men would still really like to own a train set  (Rita Rudner Quotes) Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people  (Rita Rudner Quotes) If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good  (Rita Rudner Quotes) I love to write jokes and that’s all I think about  (Rita Rudner Quotes) Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly  (Rita Rudner Quotes) How can I have morning sickness when I don’t get up till noon?  (Rita Rudner Quotes) Cats are a waste of fur  (Rita Rudner Quotes) Never take candy from strangers  (Rita Rudner Quotes) Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved  (Rita Rudner Quotes) I rationalize shop. I buy a dress because I need change for gum  (Rita Rudner Quotes) Was in labor for 36 hours  (Rita Rudner Quotes) I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don’t know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I’ll break up with someone on purpose  (Rita Rudner Quotes) I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor’s office was full of portraits by Picasso  (Rita Rudner Quotes) Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry  (Rita Rudner Quotes) We’ve begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it’s cheaper, and you get more feet  (Rita Rudner Quotes) When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always  (Rita Rudner Quotes)
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