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Mindy Kaling Quotes

Twitter is so short, it’s safe. I don’t want my bosses to be like, ‘Hey, your script is due and we saw you wrote four blog pages.’ Picture Quote #1

I never want to be called the funniest Indian female comedian that exists. I feel like I can go head-to-head with the best white, male comedy writers that are out there. Why would I want to self-categorize myself into a smaller group than I’m able to compete in? Picture Quote #1

I’m not married, I frequently use my debit card to buy things that cost less than three dollars, and my bedroom is so untidy it looks like vandals ransacked the Anthropologie sale section. I’m kind of a mess Picture Quote #1

When I was a little kid, I wrote this play about all these characters living in a haunted house. There was a witch who lived there, and a mummy. When they were all hassling him, this guy who bought the house - I can’t believe I remember this - he said to them, ‘Who’s paying the mortgage on this haunted house?’ I thought that was really funny Picture Quote #1

I would love if gay men responded to me. All I want is for many gay men to dress up as me for Halloween Picture Quote #1

Live performance really terrifies me. I haven’t done it, really, in years. I think that’s why I retired from my brief career in stand-up Picture Quote #1

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I was always a silent comedy nerd. I would stay up late and sneak downstairs to watch ‘Saturday Night Live’ and ‘Kids in the Hall,’ and things like that. Very early on, my parents realized that I was not going to be an engineer or a doctor. I just don’t have those inclinations, at all Picture Quote #1

Almost every college playwright or sketch or improv comedian was sort of aware of Christopher Durang - even kids in high school. His short plays were so accessible to younger people and I think that was inspirational to me Picture Quote #1

Growing up, I remember my parents feeling a little wary of ‘The Simpsons.’ This was the late eighties, and there was a wave of articles about TV shows that were bad for America. Then we all started watching it and loved it Picture Quote #1

I feel like if I had my personality but was an OB/GYN, you would be psyched. You’d be like, ‘My chatty, pop-culture-interested but plainspoken, wants-to-talk-about-clothes but serious-minded doctor.’ I feel like I would clean up with patients. That’s kind of a cocky thing to say Picture Quote #1

I had these kind of unrealistic expectations that were fueled by romantic comedies, and it has both helped me and hurt me in many ways. It helped me because, in general, they’ve made me hopeful. I just figure things will eventually work out for me. But nobody is like any Tom Hanks character. Nobody is Hugh Grant. No one is Meg Ryan! Picture Quote #1

I have a great job writing for ‘The Office,’ but, really, all television writers do is dream of one day writing movies. I’ll put it this way: At the Oscars the most famous person in the room is, like, Angelina Jolie. At the Emmys the huge exciting celebrity is Bethenny Frankel. You get what I mean Picture Quote #1

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I used to forget that I was an Indian woman. I would even forget that I was a woman. I don’t think of myself as bringing to the table a lot of ‘women’s issues.’ I don’t feel the need to write about maternity. I grew up thinking that the talented people in comedy were hard-joke writers Picture Quote #1

Right now, I’m hankering for new adventures... Ninety percent of the time I’m having romantic-comedy fantasies in which I’m wearing little pencil skirts and hurrying down to the subway Picture Quote #1

Woody Allen is really the ultimate. I love that he believed in himself enough to do what he did. And I have that same feeling - that there’s nobody that looks like me in movies, nobody would cast me as a romantic lead, but I want to do it and I feel confident that I can Picture Quote #1

Even in my revenge fantasy where all I do is exercise, I can still do only twenty-five pull-ups. Pull-ups are tough, no joke Picture Quote #1

Always Wear Flats and Have Your Friends Sleep Over: A Step-by-Step How-To Guide for Avoiding Getting Murdered Picture Quote #1

The Internet also makes it extraordinarily difficult for me to focus. One small break to look up exactly how almond milk is made, and four hours later I’m reading about the Donner Party and texting all my friends: DID YOU GUYS KNOW ABOUT THE DONNER PARTY AND HOW MESSED UP THAT WAS? TEXT ME BACK SO WE CAN TALK ABOUT IT! Picture Quote #1

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There are so many distractions you can face as a woman, either with relationships or worrying about, Should I go to this party? or, Should I be doing this to help me get ahead? All [success] is, is doing your work and staying focused. It’s boring advice, but boring good advice is what you can get from me! Picture Quote #1

I fall into that nebulous, quote-unquote, normal American woman size that legions of fashion stylists detest. For the record, I’m a size 8 - this week, anyway. Many stylists hate that size because I think to them, it shows that I lack the discipline to be an ascetic; or the confident, sassy abandon to be a total fatty hedonist Picture Quote #1

I don’t want to be skinny. I’m constantly in a state of self-improvement, but I don’t beat myself up over it Picture Quote #1

When I was twenty-five, I went on exactly four dates with a much older guy whom I’ll call Peter Parker. I’m calling him Peter Parker because the actual guy’s name was also alliterative, and because, well, it’s my book and I’ll name a guy I dated after Spider-Man’s alter ego if I want to Picture Quote #1

More than half the questions I am asked are about the politics of the way I look Picture Quote #1

I really love ‘Bridget Jones’s Diary’ - and I love the book, too. You wonder how it ever got made into a movie. She’s supposed to be chubby, and two of the hottest guys ever are straight-up fighting over her? Picture Quote #1

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I want a schedule-keeping, waking-up-early, wallet-carrying, picture-hanging man. I don’t care if he takes prescription drugs for cholesterol or hair loss Picture Quote #1

I have a thick skin, which comes from being a not-really-skinny, dark-skinned Indian woman. I haven’t fit in every place, and so I’m kind of used to resistance Picture Quote #1

I am a super-confident writer, and as a joke writer and as an actress, I’m like, ‘I want to go head-to-head with every person.’ I am an Indian woman and I’m a kind of double minority in this world Picture Quote #1

I’ve always assumed that my parents and my in-laws would live with me when I get older and have children. I just assume it will happen and that it’s the right way to do things. It’s a deeply Indian custom - that you kind of inherit your parents and your spouse’s parents and you take care of them eventually Picture Quote #1

All I want to do is be a gay icon. I was reading Lady Gaga’s twitter, because she has like 12 million followers, or something like that. I feel like she has fans, gay, straight, bi, who would throw themselves off a building for her Picture Quote #1

Catharsis isn’t art. You can’t rely on catharsis to get a laugh. Because guess what? People do laugh when something’s shocking, but that is, to me, the absolute fakest of laughs. That’s not something that sustains a television series, or a movie, or even 45 minutes of a stand-up set at Carolines Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

Twitter is so short, it’s safe. I don’t want my bosses to be like, ‘Hey, your script is due and we saw you wrote four blog pages.’ (Mindy Kaling Quotes) I never want to be called the funniest Indian female comedian that exists. I feel like I can go head-to-head with the best white, male comedy writers that are out there. Why would I want to self-categorize myself into a smaller group than I’m able to compete in? (Mindy Kaling Quotes) I’m not married, I frequently use my debit card to buy things that cost less than three dollars, and my bedroom is so untidy it looks like vandals ransacked the Anthropologie sale section. I’m kind of a mess (Mindy Kaling Quotes) When I was a little kid, I wrote this play about all these characters living in a haunted house. There was a witch who lived there, and a mummy. When they were all hassling him, this guy who bought the house - I can’t believe I remember this - he said to them, ‘Who’s paying the mortgage on this haunted house?’ I thought that was really funny (Mindy Kaling Quotes) I would love if gay men responded to me. All I want is for many gay men to dress up as me for Halloween (Mindy Kaling Quotes) Live performance really terrifies me. I haven’t done it, really, in years. I think that’s why I retired from my brief career in stand-up (Mindy Kaling Quotes) I was always a silent comedy nerd. I would stay up late and sneak downstairs to watch ‘Saturday Night Live’ and ‘Kids in the Hall,’ and things like that. Very early on, my parents realized that I was not going to be an engineer or a doctor. I just don’t have those inclinations, at all (Mindy Kaling Quotes) Almost every college playwright or sketch or improv comedian was sort of aware of Christopher Durang - even kids in high school. His short plays were so accessible to younger people and I think that was inspirational to me (Mindy Kaling Quotes) Growing up, I remember my parents feeling a little wary of ‘The Simpsons.’ This was the late eighties, and there was a wave of articles about TV shows that were bad for America. Then we all started watching it and loved it (Mindy Kaling Quotes) I feel like if I had my personality but was an OB/GYN, you would be psyched. You’d be like, ‘My chatty, pop-culture-interested but plainspoken, wants-to-talk-about-clothes but serious-minded doctor.’ I feel like I would clean up with patients. That’s kind of a cocky thing to say (Mindy Kaling Quotes) I had these kind of unrealistic expectations that were fueled by romantic comedies, and it has both helped me and hurt me in many ways. It helped me because, in general, they’ve made me hopeful. I just figure things will eventually work out for me. But nobody is like any Tom Hanks character. Nobody is Hugh Grant. No one is Meg Ryan! (Mindy Kaling Quotes) I have a great job writing for ‘The Office,’ but, really, all television writers do is dream of one day writing movies. I’ll put it this way: At the Oscars the most famous person in the room is, like, Angelina Jolie. At the Emmys the huge exciting celebrity is Bethenny Frankel. You get what I mean (Mindy Kaling Quotes) I used to forget that I was an Indian woman. I would even forget that I was a woman. I don’t think of myself as bringing to the table a lot of ‘women’s issues.’ I don’t feel the need to write about maternity. I grew up thinking that the talented people in comedy were hard-joke writers (Mindy Kaling Quotes) Right now, I’m hankering for new adventures... Ninety percent of the time I’m having romantic-comedy fantasies in which I’m wearing little pencil skirts and hurrying down to the subway (Mindy Kaling Quotes) Woody Allen is really the ultimate. I love that he believed in himself enough to do what he did. And I have that same feeling - that there’s nobody that looks like me in movies, nobody would cast me as a romantic lead, but I want to do it and I feel confident that I can (Mindy Kaling Quotes) Even in my revenge fantasy where all I do is exercise, I can still do only twenty-five pull-ups. Pull-ups are tough, no joke (Mindy Kaling Quotes) Always Wear Flats and Have Your Friends Sleep Over: A Step-by-Step How-To Guide for Avoiding Getting Murdered (Mindy Kaling Quotes) The Internet also makes it extraordinarily difficult for me to focus. One small break to look up exactly how almond milk is made, and four hours later I’m reading about the Donner Party and texting all my friends: DID YOU GUYS KNOW ABOUT THE DONNER PARTY AND HOW MESSED UP THAT WAS? TEXT ME BACK SO WE CAN TALK ABOUT IT! (Mindy Kaling Quotes) There are so many distractions you can face as a woman, either with relationships or worrying about, Should I go to this party? or, Should I be doing this to help me get ahead? All [success] is, is doing your work and staying focused. It’s boring advice, but boring good advice is what you can get from me! (Mindy Kaling Quotes) I fall into that nebulous, quote-unquote, normal American woman size that legions of fashion stylists detest. For the record, I’m a size 8 - this week, anyway. Many stylists hate that size because I think to them, it shows that I lack the discipline to be an ascetic; or the confident, sassy abandon to be a total fatty hedonist (Mindy Kaling Quotes) I don’t want to be skinny. I’m constantly in a state of self-improvement, but I don’t beat myself up over it (Mindy Kaling Quotes) When I was twenty-five, I went on exactly four dates with a much older guy whom I’ll call Peter Parker. I’m calling him Peter Parker because the actual guy’s name was also alliterative, and because, well, it’s my book and I’ll name a guy I dated after Spider-Man’s alter ego if I want to (Mindy Kaling Quotes) More than half the questions I am asked are about the politics of the way I look (Mindy Kaling Quotes) I really love ‘Bridget Jones’s Diary’ - and I love the book, too. You wonder how it ever got made into a movie. She’s supposed to be chubby, and two of the hottest guys ever are straight-up fighting over her? (Mindy Kaling Quotes) I want a schedule-keeping, waking-up-early, wallet-carrying, picture-hanging man. I don’t care if he takes prescription drugs for cholesterol or hair loss (Mindy Kaling Quotes) I have a thick skin, which comes from being a not-really-skinny, dark-skinned Indian woman. I haven’t fit in every place, and so I’m kind of used to resistance (Mindy Kaling Quotes) I am a super-confident writer, and as a joke writer and as an actress, I’m like, ‘I want to go head-to-head with every person.’ I am an Indian woman and I’m a kind of double minority in this world (Mindy Kaling Quotes) I’ve always assumed that my parents and my in-laws would live with me when I get older and have children. I just assume it will happen and that it’s the right way to do things. It’s a deeply Indian custom - that you kind of inherit your parents and your spouse’s parents and you take care of them eventually (Mindy Kaling Quotes) All I want to do is be a gay icon. I was reading Lady Gaga’s twitter, because she has like 12 million followers, or something like that. I feel like she has fans, gay, straight, bi, who would throw themselves off a building for her (Mindy Kaling Quotes) Catharsis isn’t art. You can’t rely on catharsis to get a laugh. Because guess what? People do laugh when something’s shocking, but that is, to me, the absolute fakest of laughs. That’s not something that sustains a television series, or a movie, or even 45 minutes of a stand-up set at Carolines (Mindy Kaling Quotes)

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