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George Burns Quotes

A true friend is someone who accepts your past, supports your present and encourages your future - Friend Quotes
What a beautiful world it would be if people had hearts like dogs - Dog Quotes
Together is my favorite place to be - Love Quotes
I like me a little bit more when i'm with you - Love Quotes
And then you meet one person and your life changes forever - Love Quotes
I meant to behave but there were too many other options - Funny Quotes
When we first met, i had no idea you would be so important to me - Love Quotes
Chocolate is the answer. Who cares what the question is - Funny Quotes
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Text Quotes
When I’m in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age  (George Burns Quotes) There will always be a battle between the sexes because men and women want different things. Men want women and women want men  (George Burns Quotes) There’s nothing wrong with making love with the light on. Just make sure the car door is closed  (George Burns Quotes) When I die I intend to take my music with me. I don’t know what’s out there, but I want to make sure it’s in my key  (George Burns Quotes) People are always asking me how much I’m worth. Well, all I can say is, I’ve got enough money to last me the rest of my life. As long as I die in the next 20 minutes  (George Burns Quotes) I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke  (George Burns Quotes) Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill  (George Burns Quotes) I smoke cigars because at my age if I don’t have something to hang on to I might fall down  (George Burns Quotes) I was always taught to respect my elders and I’ve now reached the age when I don’t have anybody to respect  (George Burns Quotes) Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up  (George Burns Quotes) I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate  (George Burns Quotes) I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere  (George Burns Quotes) If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age  (George Burns Quotes) Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made  (George Burns Quotes) First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down  (George Burns Quotes) I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life  (George Burns Quotes) If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it  (George Burns Quotes) It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty  (George Burns Quotes) The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible  (George Burns Quotes) This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two  (George Burns Quotes) Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair  (George Burns Quotes) You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there  (George Burns Quotes) When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I’m labeled senile  (George Burns Quotes) If I get big laughs, I’m a comedian. If I get little laughs, I’m a humorist. If I get no laughs, I’m a singer  (George Burns Quotes) Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist  (George Burns Quotes) I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don’t have to respect anybody  (George Burns Quotes) When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it’s time to turn out the lights  (George Burns Quotes) I get up every morning and read the obituary column. If my name’s not there, I eat breakfast  (George Burns Quotes) If I paid ten dollars for a cigar, first I’d make love to it, then I’d smoke it  (George Burns Quotes) I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch  (George Burns Quotes)
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