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George Burns Quotes

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I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.  (George Burns Quotes) I get up every morning and read the obituary column. If my name’s not there, I eat breakfast.  (George Burns Quotes) When we played the back end of a horse we always knew that if we worked hard and did a good job we could become the front end.  (George Burns Quotes) I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate  (George Burns Quotes) Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.  (George Burns Quotes) If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.  (George Burns Quotes) I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.  (George Burns Quotes) You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.  (George Burns Quotes) If you look at Jack Benny, George Burns, or Don Rickles, they’ve all had long, successful marriages. So, I think there’s something about laughter and the durability of a marriage.  (George Burns Quotes) Since I met him ten years ago there hasn’t been a day that I didn’t think of George Burns. And I didn’t think of him again today.  (George Burns Quotes) When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it’s time to turn out the lights.  (George Burns Quotes) If it’s a good script I’ll do it. And if it’s a bad script, and they pay me enough, I’ll do it.  (George Burns Quotes) If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.  (George Burns Quotes) I look better, feel better, make love better and I’ll tell you something else....I never lied better.  (George Burns Quotes) A young mind in a healthy body is a wonderful thing. Especially for an old man with an open night.  (George Burns Quotes) I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill  (George Burns Quotes) As long as you’re working, you stay young  (George Burns Quotes) Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do  (George Burns Quotes) You’ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made  (George Burns Quotes) I’m going to stay in show business until I’m the last one left  (George Burns Quotes) George Burns . . . the only man I know who does fool Mother Nature  (George Burns Quotes) I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate  (George Burns Quotes) In show business the key word is honesty. Once you’ve learned to fake that, the rest is easy  (George Burns Quotes) When I’m in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age  (George Burns Quotes) There will always be a battle between the sexes because men and women want different things. Men want women and women want men  (George Burns Quotes) There’s nothing wrong with making love with the light on. Just make sure the car door is closed  (George Burns Quotes) When I die I intend to take my music with me. I don’t know what’s out there, but I want to make sure it’s in my key  (George Burns Quotes) People are always asking me how much I’m worth. Well, all I can say is, I’ve got enough money to last me the rest of my life. As long as I die in the next 20 minutes  (George Burns Quotes) I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke  (George Burns Quotes) Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill  (George Burns Quotes)
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