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George Burns Quotes

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just to be sure - Funny Quotes
And then you meet one person and your life changes forever - Love Quotes
Chocolate is the answer. Who cares what the question is - Funny Quotes
Men go shopping to buy what they need. Women go shopping to find out what they want - Funny Quotes
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why - Mark Twain Quotes
The darkest nights produce the brightest stars - Motivational Quotes
If cats could talk, they wouldn't - Cat Quotes
Don't look back you're not going that way - Inspirational Quotes
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Text Quotes
I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty  (George Burns Quotes) Happiness is having a loving, close knit family in another city  (George Burns Quotes) Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city  (George Burns Quotes) Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle  (George Burns Quotes) Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples  (George Burns Quotes) I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now - I’m booked  (George Burns Quotes) If it’s a good script I’ll do it. And if it’s a bad script, and they pay me enough, I’ll do it  (George Burns Quotes) There’s been periods of broadcasts in the past where you could see all ages of entertainers, ranging from George Burns to Shirley Temple. That’s not the condition now  (George Burns Quotes) Not too many people are - were as good as Bob Hope. George Burns was great at thinking, you know, on the spot. Steve Allen was marvelous, and so was George Burns. But Bob may be the king of them all, you know  (George Burns Quotes) People are always asking me when I’m going to retire. Why should I? I’ve got it two ways - I’m still making movies, and I’m a senior citizen, so I can see myself at half price  (George Burns Quotes) I think in my case, I had no choice but to have a good sense of humor. I grew up with my dad, Danny Thomas, and George Burns and Bob Hope and Milton Berle and Sid Caesar and all those guys were at our house all the time and telling jokes and making each other laugh  (George Burns Quotes) I can’t understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it  (George Burns Quotes) People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit  (George Burns Quotes) Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn’t show up on x-rays, but you know it’s there  (George Burns Quotes) I must be getting absent-minded. Whenever I complain that things aren’t what they used to be, I always forget to include myself  (George Burns Quotes) And God said ‘Let there be Satan, so people don’t blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don’t blame everything on Satan.’  (George Burns Quotes) The fact that Americans drag around the world by the busloads to glimpse the past probably has something to do with the youth of our country. We revere anything older than George Burns  (George Burns Quotes) From Paris we took the Orient Express to Vienna. I must say I was terribly disappointed; nobody was murdered on the train  (George Burns Quotes) I worried about playing God (in the movie Oh God). We’re about the same age, but we grew up in different neighborhoods  (George Burns Quotes) She didn’t need to go to acting school to learn that the essence of acting is to act like you’re not acting  (George Burns Quotes) When I’m in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.  (George Burns Quotes) If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you’d cheat with some ugly girl  (George Burns Quotes) This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two  (George Burns Quotes) I am very much inspired by the great masters of entertainment: Bob Hope, George Burns, Jimmy Durante - who never thought about retiring. When people ask me if I plan to retire, I say, Retire to what? I am doing what I love best right now!  (George Burns Quotes) I’d rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn’t like  (George Burns Quotes) In show business the key word is honesty. Once you’ve learned to fake that, the rest is easy.  (George Burns Quotes) There’s nothing wrong with making love with the light on. Just make sure the car door is closed.  (George Burns Quotes) I don’t care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.  (George Burns Quotes) Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town  (George Burns Quotes) It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.  (George Burns Quotes)
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