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Funniest Quotes Of All Time

If cats could talk, they wouldn't
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A true friend is someone who accepts your past, supports your present and encourages your future
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work
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I meant to behave but there were too many other options
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why
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Dogs teach us a lot of things but none more important than to love unconditionally
The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary
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Chocolate is the answer. Who cares what the question is
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My sex life is like a Ferrari. I don't have a Ferrari  (Funniest Quotes Of All Time) Found it! Another home for the dog  (Funniest Quotes Of All Time) A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished  (Funniest Quotes Of All Time) You idiot! I’m sure you’re right, but why?  (Funniest Quotes Of All Time) To nom? Or not to nom? That is the question  (Funniest Quotes Of All Time) It's simple, if it jiggles, it's fat  (Funniest Quotes Of All Time) A chance to do the right thing. I love those moments. I like to wave at them them as they pass by  (Funniest Quotes Of All Time) I don't care what you think of me, unless you think I'm awesome. In which case you are right  (Funniest Quotes Of All Time) in the morning i'm like "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels", but by the evening i'm like "Eat all the food!"  (Funniest Quotes Of All Time) Life is short. False. It's the longest thing you do  (Funniest Quotes Of All Time) My life so far  (Funniest Quotes Of All Time) Go on, tell them I ate your homework. They'll never believe you  (Funniest Quotes Of All Time) I have so much to do that I'm going to bed  (Funniest Quotes Of All Time) If cats could talk, they wouldn't  (Funniest Quotes Of All Time) Life is hard. It's harder if your stupid  (Funniest Quotes Of All Time) It's behind me isn't it  (Funniest Quotes Of All Time) You had one job  (Funniest Quotes Of All Time) I woke up early, there was no worm  (Funniest Quotes Of All Time) Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now  (Funniest Quotes Of All Time) Men go shopping to buy what they need. Women go shopping to find out what they want  (Funniest Quotes Of All Time) I stopped fighting my inner demons. We're on the same side now  (Funniest Quotes Of All Time) When all else fails take a nap  (Funniest Quotes Of All Time) I saw that  (Funniest Quotes Of All Time) Don't take life so seriously. It's not like you're going to get out alive  (Funniest Quotes Of All Time) Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you're drunk  (Funniest Quotes Of All Time) I told you I'll be ready in FIVE minutes stop, calling me every half hour  (Funniest Quotes Of All Time) The first step to recovery is admitting you're a dumbass  (Funniest Quotes Of All Time) I'm not lazy, i'm just in energy saving mode  (Funniest Quotes Of All Time) If there are no ups and downs in your life it means you are dead  (Funniest Quotes Of All Time) Diet starts next week  (Funniest Quotes Of All Time)