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Elayne Boosler Quotes

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking Picture Quote #1

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me Picture Quote #1

I am thankful that geniuses and artists and good people, no matter how hard it is, will eventually be recognized. I am doubly thankful that also goes for idiots Picture Quote #1

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three Picture Quote #1

My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions Picture Quote #1

Real comedy can’t be learned; it comes from a need for justice. The best who stand up, stand up for something Picture Quote #1

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You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot Picture Quote #1

My brother is gay and my parents don’t care, as long as he marries a doctor Picture Quote #1

People are giving birth underwater now. They say it’s less traumatic for the baby because it’s under water. But it’s certainly more traumatic for the other people in the pool Picture Quote #1

A man who was loved by 300 woman singled me out to live with him. Why? I was the only one without a cat Picture Quote #1

People want sex education out of the schools. They believe sex education causes promiscuity. Hey, I took algebra, but I never do math Picture Quote #1

My mother always said you could eat off her floor; you could eat of my floor too, there’s so much food down there Picture Quote #1

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I deliver very traditionally, and people aren’t threatened. I think if I cursed or seemed wilder, I couldn’t get away with the amount of very opinionated politics I get away with Picture Quote #1

I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me Picture Quote #1

My fashion philosophy is, if you’re not covered in dog hair, your life is empty Picture Quote #1

I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone Picture Quote #1

You know, if you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn’t your sport Picture Quote #1

I love my parents and they’re wonderful people, but they were strict, and I still look for ways to get even. When I got my own apartment for the very first time and they came to stay with me for the weekend, I made them stay in separate bedrooms Picture Quote #1

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Why isn’t the movie industry forced to open its shooting locations to an organization that is there to advocate for animal actors? The industry isn’t allowed to pick and choose which movies using young children it will or won’t allow to be monitored. The vulnerable should be protected Picture Quote #1

I don’t categorize myself. I don’t think I’m perceived as a female act by my audience. My fans include just as many men as women Picture Quote #1

While editors and newspaper owners currently fret over shrinking readership and lost profits, they do the one thing that insures cutting their own throats; they keep reducing space for the one feature that attracts new young readers in the first place; the comic strips Picture Quote #1

I wasn’t funny as a kid. I remember enjoying comedians, but I never understood it was a job choice or a profession Picture Quote #1

When I was growing up in comedy, there were maybe 10 comics in the whole country. Everyone had a day job. You worked free for years in little clubs, then you got your big break and became a star Picture Quote #1

Sometimes, if you really don’t know how you feel about a topic, reading how both sides argue it can help Picture Quote #1

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I personally cannot tell you how many times we rescuers put our names on animals to come to us as soon as they are eligible for release, only to find they have been senselessly killed by overzealous pound workers Picture Quote #1

There are many comedians who are afraid to work outside the coasts and the casinos because they’re afraid they’ll bomb Picture Quote #1

Turkeys know their names, come when you call, and are totally affectionate. They’re better than teenagers Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking (Elayne Boosler Quotes) I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me (Elayne Boosler Quotes) I am thankful that geniuses and artists and good people, no matter how hard it is, will eventually be recognized. I am doubly thankful that also goes for idiots (Elayne Boosler Quotes) I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three (Elayne Boosler Quotes) My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions (Elayne Boosler Quotes) Real comedy can’t be learned; it comes from a need for justice. The best who stand up, stand up for something (Elayne Boosler Quotes) You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot (Elayne Boosler Quotes) My brother is gay and my parents don’t care, as long as he marries a doctor (Elayne Boosler Quotes) People are giving birth underwater now. They say it’s less traumatic for the baby because it’s under water. But it’s certainly more traumatic for the other people in the pool (Elayne Boosler Quotes) A man who was loved by 300 woman singled me out to live with him. Why? I was the only one without a cat (Elayne Boosler Quotes) People want sex education out of the schools. They believe sex education causes promiscuity. Hey, I took algebra, but I never do math (Elayne Boosler Quotes) My mother always said you could eat off her floor; you could eat of my floor too, there’s so much food down there (Elayne Boosler Quotes) I deliver very traditionally, and people aren’t threatened. I think if I cursed or seemed wilder, I couldn’t get away with the amount of very opinionated politics I get away with (Elayne Boosler Quotes) I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me (Elayne Boosler Quotes) My fashion philosophy is, if you’re not covered in dog hair, your life is empty (Elayne Boosler Quotes) I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone (Elayne Boosler Quotes) You know, if you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn’t your sport (Elayne Boosler Quotes) I love my parents and they’re wonderful people, but they were strict, and I still look for ways to get even. When I got my own apartment for the very first time and they came to stay with me for the weekend, I made them stay in separate bedrooms (Elayne Boosler Quotes) Why isn’t the movie industry forced to open its shooting locations to an organization that is there to advocate for animal actors? The industry isn’t allowed to pick and choose which movies using young children it will or won’t allow to be monitored. The vulnerable should be protected (Elayne Boosler Quotes) I don’t categorize myself. I don’t think I’m perceived as a female act by my audience. My fans include just as many men as women (Elayne Boosler Quotes) While editors and newspaper owners currently fret over shrinking readership and lost profits, they do the one thing that insures cutting their own throats; they keep reducing space for the one feature that attracts new young readers in the first place; the comic strips (Elayne Boosler Quotes) I wasn’t funny as a kid. I remember enjoying comedians, but I never understood it was a job choice or a profession (Elayne Boosler Quotes) When I was growing up in comedy, there were maybe 10 comics in the whole country. Everyone had a day job. You worked free for years in little clubs, then you got your big break and became a star (Elayne Boosler Quotes) Sometimes, if you really don’t know how you feel about a topic, reading how both sides argue it can help (Elayne Boosler Quotes) I personally cannot tell you how many times we rescuers put our names on animals to come to us as soon as they are eligible for release, only to find they have been senselessly killed by overzealous pound workers (Elayne Boosler Quotes) There are many comedians who are afraid to work outside the coasts and the casinos because they’re afraid they’ll bomb (Elayne Boosler Quotes) Turkeys know their names, come when you call, and are totally affectionate. They’re better than teenagers (Elayne Boosler Quotes)

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