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Eddie Izzard Quotes

Dogs teach us a lot of things but none more important than to love unconditionally - Dog Quotes
You don't need someone to complete you. You only need someone to accept you completely - Love Quotes
Money may not buy happiness, but it's better to cry in a Lamborghini - Funny Quotes
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken - Oscar Wilde Quotes
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results - Albert Einstein Quotes
Chocolate is the answer. Who cares what the question is - Funny Quotes
You had me at hello - Love Quotes
I like me a little bit more when i'm with you - Love Quotes
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Text Quotes
Poetry is very similar to music, only less notes and more words  (Eddie Izzard Quotes) Some people are widely read. I’m thinly read  (Eddie Izzard Quotes) What was the first cat that talked a human into putting a cat door in  (Eddie Izzard Quotes) You’re gay, you sell books... you probably shag the books  (Eddie Izzard Quotes) Most transvestites fancy girls  (Eddie Izzard Quotes) They tend to come out a colour called ‘Pants left in wash’  (Eddie Izzard Quotes) I don’t believe that competitions are important  (Eddie Izzard Quotes) I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from  (Eddie Izzard Quotes) I’m a dyslexic person, so I avoid books  (Eddie Izzard Quotes) I appreciate your applause, but I don’t do it for applause. I do it for cash, it’s much better  (Eddie Izzard Quotes) They say the Universe started with a big bang. I hope everybody stood well back  (Eddie Izzard Quotes) Queen Victoria, one of our more frumpy Queen’s. They’re all frumpy aren’t they? Because it’s a bad idea when cousin’s marry  (Eddie Izzard Quotes) Before birds get sucked into jet engines, do they ever think, Is that Rod Stewart in first class  (Eddie Izzard Quotes) My Gran said put a thimble on your finger and it helps you in case you slip with the needle and it goes up, into the brain, and death  (Eddie Izzard Quotes) I definitely have breast envy. When teenage girls were saying ‘I wish I had breasts’, I was thinking the same thing  (Eddie Izzard Quotes) Cos people think I’m on drugs and I’m not. I’m really quite... Just a bit of coffee. When I take drugs I start going, Oh, would you like insurance?  (Eddie Izzard Quotes) I did bronze survival swimming. I could save people in a bronzey kind of way  (Eddie Izzard Quotes) Cable cars are fun - everyone gets on board and becomes a rhesus monkey  (Eddie Izzard Quotes) We have two hundred languages in Europe. Two hundred languages! Count them! I know you won’t!  (Eddie Izzard Quotes) San Francisco! City of dreaming spires, people live here... Golden Gate Bridge, ahh the Romans came here  (Eddie Izzard Quotes) I can go from blokey to girlie in 15 minutes and then I’m out the door. But that’s the fastest I can do it. Becoming a woman takes work  (Eddie Izzard Quotes) But puberty was... well, before puberty, at school, I didn’t tell kids I was a transvestite ‘cause I thought they might kill me with sticks, you know?  (Eddie Izzard Quotes) Because we all know one of the main factors of war is the element of surprise. And what could be more surprising than the First Batallion Transvestite Brigade? Airborne Wing  (Eddie Izzard Quotes) The Pope is guarded by the Swiss guard who stand proudly in pajamas and silly hats  (Eddie Izzard Quotes) The National Rifle Association says, ‘Guns don’t kill people. People do’. But I think the gun helps  (Eddie Izzard Quotes) I use a Bruce Lee technique: ‘The way of no way.’ He had the idea that he would learn everything, so that whoever he had to fight, he could improvise anything. The best way of starting a gig is just to not think of anything - to clear your mind, not in an empty Zen state, but more just to go on and see where you go  (Eddie Izzard Quotes) I’d be happy to be taken as a woman - and that’s what I was initially trying to do when I started throwing on dresses and stuff. But that wasn’t going to happen because everyone kept calling me sir. So I thought I’d change the method and just start wearing what I wanted to wear  (Eddie Izzard Quotes) I’m quite good at taking in information so I voraciously inhale Wikipedia - which may have some things wrong in it, but I think is generally more information than we had before. Last tour we didn’t have Wikipedia. And then Discovery Channel and History Channel. I can take it in and retain what I think are the most important facts  (Eddie Izzard Quotes) In stand-up it really helps to play yourself and talk about your own feelings. You cannot fail to be original if you’re just talking about what you think about X, Y and Z. Unless you’ve got a twin brother who’s also a stand-up  (Eddie Izzard Quotes) Performance enhancing drugs are banned in the Olympics. OK, we can swing with that. But performance ‘debilitating’ drugs should not be banned. Smoke a joint and win the 100 metres, fair play for you. That’s pretty good. Unless someone’s dangling a Mars bar off in the distance  (Eddie Izzard Quotes)
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