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Lewis Grizzard Quotes

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If I Ever Get Back to Georgia, I’m Gonna Nail My Feet to the Ground  (Lewis Grizzard Quotes) Show business is my life  (Lewis Grizzard Quotes) If soccer was an American soft drink, it would be Diet Pepsi  (Lewis Grizzard Quotes) You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, ‘What’s in it for me?’  (Lewis Grizzard Quotes) Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.  (Lewis Grizzard Quotes) Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes.  (Lewis Grizzard Quotes) Life is like a dogsled race. If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes.  (Lewis Grizzard Quotes) Baptists never make love standing up. They’re afraid someone might see them and think they’re dancing.  (Lewis Grizzard Quotes) Yankees don’t understand that the Southern way of talking is a language of nuance. What we can do in the South is we can take a word and change it just a little bit and make it mean something altogether different  (Lewis Grizzard Quotes) I don’t think I’ll get married again. I’ll just find a woman I don’t like and give her a house  (Lewis Grizzard Quotes) Spring time is the land awakening  (Lewis Grizzard Quotes) I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence  (Lewis Grizzard Quotes) They tore out my heart and stomped that sucker flat  (Lewis Grizzard Quotes) Elvis is dead and I don’t feel good for myself  (Lewis Grizzard Quotes) It’s difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato  (Lewis Grizzard Quotes) Sex hasn’t been the same since women started enjoying it  (Lewis Grizzard Quotes) Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck  (Lewis Grizzard Quotes) If you are not the lead dog, your scenery never changes  (Lewis Grizzard Quotes) I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married  (Lewis Grizzard Quotes) Money doesn’t grow on trees, and if it did, someone else would own the orchard  (Lewis Grizzard Quotes) The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity  (Lewis Grizzard Quotes) I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married  (Lewis Grizzard Quotes) Life is like a dogsled race. If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes  (Lewis Grizzard Quotes) There’s nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that  (Lewis Grizzard Quotes) There is something wrong when you wait in line thirty minutes to get a hamburger that was cooked for ninety seconds an hour ago  (Lewis Grizzard Quotes) I finally figured it out, I finally figured out how to find some peace and happiness. I sure would hate for the man upstairs to take me now. But at least I did figure it out  (Lewis Grizzard Quotes) Life is like a dog sled team. If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes  (Lewis Grizzard Quotes) The public, more often than not, will forgive mistakes, but it will not forgive trying to wriggle and weasel out of one  (Lewis Grizzard Quotes) Baptists never make love standing up. They’re afraid someone might see them and think they’re dancing  (Lewis Grizzard Quotes) Mama had an appreciation of the language. She taught me a love of words, of how they should be used and how they can fill a creative soul with a passion and lead to a life’s work  (Lewis Grizzard Quotes)
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