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Lewis Black Quotes

It's 2003. Why can't I teleport? Picture Quote #1

Dick Cheney... and that's all I've gotta say Picture Quote #1

How our government works... It doesn't Picture Quote #1

All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911 Picture Quote #1

If we're not going to tax the rich anymore, we're going to create class warfare Picture Quote #1

All food is comfort food. Maybe I just like to chew Picture Quote #1

I love anything that gets me outside of my own head Picture Quote #1

Online, there's no time. It's always Christmas Picture Quote #1

People would be a lot better off if they'd enjoy being single Picture Quote #1

As psychotic as it gets outside, the comic can be more psychotic Picture Quote #1

Everybody's got cable Picture Quote #1

I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake Picture Quote #1

I watch some CNN and a lot of Fox, because it helps me get irritated Picture Quote #1

I'm a happy person but an angry citizen Picture Quote #1

I'm a selfish, little pig of a man Picture Quote #1

I'm amazed that anyone is interested in what I have to say Picture Quote #1

I'm constantly in fear of having a stroke Picture Quote #1

Political audiences are not fun Picture Quote #1

Pursue whatever it is that you want to do with your life. It is the only secret to happiness that I know except for maybe true love, that and maybe having the amazing health insurance plan that our congressmen have Picture Quote #1

I think the only reason you visit an Apple store is because you wonder what life is like on another planet Picture Quote #1

Harry Reid is not funny; he's creepy. Nancy Pelosi is creepy. Charles Schumer is sneaky and creepy Picture Quote #1

There are two things I know about life... Only the good die young but the real jerks will live forever Picture Quote #1

I hammer on a theme until I’m tired of it and the audience is tired of it Picture Quote #1

What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height of flu season, it makes no sense Picture Quote #1

I was broke until I was 40. Really broke. I could get by, but I had nothing Picture Quote #1

I'm not a great joke writer, which is odd for a comic to say, but I'm not Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

Text Quotes

It's 2003. Why can't I teleport? (Lewis Black Quotes) Dick Cheney... and that's all I've gotta say (Lewis Black Quotes) How our government works... It doesn't (Lewis Black Quotes) All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911 (Lewis Black Quotes) If we're not going to tax the rich anymore, we're going to create class warfare (Lewis Black Quotes) All food is comfort food. Maybe I just like to chew (Lewis Black Quotes) I love anything that gets me outside of my own head (Lewis Black Quotes) Online, there's no time. It's always Christmas (Lewis Black Quotes) People would be a lot better off if they'd enjoy being single (Lewis Black Quotes) As psychotic as it gets outside, the comic can be more psychotic (Lewis Black Quotes) Everybody's got cable (Lewis Black Quotes) I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake (Lewis Black Quotes) I watch some CNN and a lot of Fox, because it helps me get irritated (Lewis Black Quotes) I'm a happy person but an angry citizen (Lewis Black Quotes) I'm a selfish, little pig of a man (Lewis Black Quotes) I'm amazed that anyone is interested in what I have to say (Lewis Black Quotes) I'm constantly in fear of having a stroke (Lewis Black Quotes) Political audiences are not fun (Lewis Black Quotes) Pursue whatever it is that you want to do with your life. It is the only secret to happiness that I know except for maybe true love, that and maybe having the amazing health insurance plan that our congressmen have (Lewis Black Quotes) I think the only reason you visit an Apple store is because you wonder what life is like on another planet (Lewis Black Quotes) Harry Reid is not funny; he's creepy. Nancy Pelosi is creepy. Charles Schumer is sneaky and creepy (Lewis Black Quotes) There are two things I know about life... Only the good die young but the real jerks will live forever (Lewis Black Quotes) I hammer on a theme until I’m tired of it and the audience is tired of it (Lewis Black Quotes) What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height of flu season, it makes no sense (Lewis Black Quotes) I was broke until I was 40. Really broke. I could get by, but I had nothing (Lewis Black Quotes) I'm not a great joke writer, which is odd for a comic to say, but I'm not (Lewis Black Quotes)

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