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Laurie Notaro Quotes

I majored in journalism at Arizona State University, where I began writing the columns I write now, but I cannot, in good conscience, refer to myself as a writer. I’m a columnist, maybe a journalist, I guess I’m an author, but writer... no. That’s not up to me to call myself, that’s rather lofty. It’s for the reader to decide Picture Quote #1

I’ve had to write a column an hour after I’ve come back from a funeral. A deadline is a deadline, I mean, that was just what my job was Picture Quote #1

Books are to me as homemade tattoos are to an inmate. Can’t get enough of them Picture Quote #1

I have more faith in my bra than I have in my accountant Picture Quote #1

Bad boyfriends don’t disguise themselves; their girlfriends do it for them Picture Quote #1

If you really believe in what you’re doing, work hard, take nothing personally, and if something blocks your route, find another. Never give up Picture Quote #1

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I want a man as nice as my retarded dog, but one that doesn’t crap on the floor Picture Quote #1

Books are to me as homemade tattoos are to an inmate. Can’t get enough of them Picture Quote #1

Everyone knows there’s only one thing less welcome on a stage than a mime, and that’s a clown, because everyone knows that clowns eat people Picture Quote #1

I could croak with no warning, and the only tragedy anyone would experience would be showing up on the last day of my estate sale simply to discover that all remaining items had copious amounts of dog hair on them Picture Quote #1

You’re fighting a battle of good and evil with your dog pimp! Your only weapon is the shimmy! There is power in the shimmy! Make him fear your shimmy! Now, goddamnit, show me your war shimmy! Picture Quote #1

I’m nicer on tax day than I am when I’m on deadline Picture Quote #1

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Small towns are sometimes like that; familiarity runs high, while regard for personal space is low, if nonexistent Picture Quote #1

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I majored in journalism at Arizona State University, where I began writing the columns I write now, but I cannot, in good conscience, refer to myself as a writer. I’m a columnist, maybe a journalist, I guess I’m an author, but writer... no. That’s not up to me to call myself, that’s rather lofty. It’s for the reader to decide (Laurie Notaro Quotes) I’ve had to write a column an hour after I’ve come back from a funeral. A deadline is a deadline, I mean, that was just what my job was. (Laurie Notaro Quotes) Books are to me as homemade tattoos are to an inmate. Can’t get enough of them. (Laurie Notaro Quotes) I have more faith in my bra than I have in my accountant (Laurie Notaro Quotes) Bad boyfriends don’t disguise themselves; their girlfriends do it for them (Laurie Notaro Quotes) If you really believe in what you’re doing, work hard, take nothing personally, and if something blocks your route, find another. Never give up (Laurie Notaro Quotes) I want a man as nice as my retarded dog, but one that doesn’t crap on the floor (Laurie Notaro Quotes) Books are to me as homemade tattoos are to an inmate. Can’t get enough of them (Laurie Notaro Quotes) Everyone knows there’s only one thing less welcome on a stage than a mime, and that’s a clown, because everyone knows that clowns eat people (Laurie Notaro Quotes) I could croak with no warning, and the only tragedy anyone would experience would be showing up on the last day of my estate sale simply to discover that all remaining items had copious amounts of dog hair on them (Laurie Notaro Quotes) You’re fighting a battle of good and evil with your dog pimp! Your only weapon is the shimmy! There is power in the shimmy! Make him fear your shimmy! Now, goddamnit, show me your war shimmy! (Laurie Notaro Quotes) I’m nicer on tax day than I am when I’m on deadline (Laurie Notaro Quotes) Small towns are sometimes like that; familiarity runs high, while regard for personal space is low, if nonexistent (Laurie Notaro Quotes)