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Judith Martin Quotes

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Honesty has come to mean the privilege of insulting you to your face without expecting redress  (Judith Martin Quotes) We are born charming fresh and spontaneous and must be civilized before we are fit to participate in society  (Judith Martin Quotes) We already know that anonymous letters are despicable. In etiquette, as well as in law, hiring a hit man to do the job does not relieve you of responsibility  (Judith Martin Quotes) Most people who work at home find they do not have the benefit of receptionists who serve as personal guards  (Judith Martin Quotes) Society cannot exist without etiquette... It never has, and until our own century, everybody knew that  (Judith Martin Quotes) Being listened to should be sufficiently gratifying in itself, whether or not the advice is followed  (Judith Martin Quotes) Dishonesty is not the only alternative to honesty. There is also the highly underrated virtue of shutting up  (Judith Martin Quotes) Part of the skill of saying no is to shut up afterward and not babble on, offering material for an argument  (Judith Martin Quotes) Sometimes we do things a certain way just because that is the way we do things  (Judith Martin Quotes) The truly essential bargain between host and guest requires the guest only to respond promptly, show up on time, socialize with other guests, thank the host, write additional thanks and reciprocate. You needn’t bring anything  (Judith Martin Quotes) There is no etiquette rule that decrees one must give out personal information to anyone who asks  (Judith Martin Quotes) We are all entitled to our little harmless habits, but we are not entitled to demand approval for them  (Judith Martin Quotes) What we have come to, through a combination of popular psychology and expanding technology, is a presumption that all our thoughts and feelings are worth uttering  (Judith Martin Quotes) When someone has tried to please you, it is rude, as well as disheartening, to respond by announcing that the effort was a failure  (Judith Martin Quotes) You should resolve not to seek public approval of your private business, when you are not also prepared to accept public disapproval  (Judith Martin Quotes) It is said that dispensing advice is easy. What is difficult is getting anyone to listen to it  (Judith Martin Quotes) When you consider how epidemic boredom is in our time, you have to concede that entertaining is a healing art  (Judith Martin Quotes) Parents should conduct their arguments in quiet, respectful tones, but in a foreign language. You’d be surprised what an inducement that is to the education of children  (Judith Martin Quotes) People think, mistakenly, that etiquette means you have to suppress your differences. On the contray, etiquette is what enables you to deal with them; it gives you a set of rules  (Judith Martin Quotes) It doesn’t matter whether the bride or the bridegroom writes the letters of thanks for wedding presents provided that these go out immediately after the arrival of each present and are not in the handwriting of the bride’s mother  (Judith Martin Quotes) The idea that people can behave naturally, without resorting to an artificial code tacitly agreed upon by their society, is as silly as the idea that they can communicate by a spoken language without commonly accepted semantic and grammatical rules  (Judith Martin Quotes) A lot of men got upset at the feminist movement because they had all the toys and we wanted some  (Judith Martin Quotes) There is nothing like a good friend to help you out when you are not in trouble  (Judith Martin Quotes) The obligation to express gratitude deepens with procrastination. The longer you wait, the more effusive must be the thanks  (Judith Martin Quotes) One reason that the task of inventing manners is so difficult is that etiquette is folk custom, and people have emotional ties to the forms of their youth. That is why there is such hostility between generations in times of rapid change; their manners being different, each feels affronted by the other, taking even the most surface choices for challenges  (Judith Martin Quotes) Honesty is a virtue, but not the only one. If you’re in a courtroom you need the whole truth and nothing but the truth; in the living room, sometimes you need anything but. Often  (Judith Martin Quotes) It is wrong to wear diamonds before luncheon, except on one’s marriage rings. Before, after, and during breakfast, luncheon and dinner, it is vulgar to wear a mixture of colored precious stones. It is always a comfort to know that so many things one can’t afford to do anyway are vulgar  (Judith Martin Quotes) People, in forming their opinions of others, are usually lazy enough to go by whatever is most obvious or whatever chance remark they happen to hear. So the best policy is to dictate to others the opinion you want them to have of you  (Judith Martin Quotes) When politeness is used to show up other people, it is reclassified as rudeness. Thus it is technically impossible to be too polite  (Judith Martin Quotes) It has always puzzled me, in my business, that people think they have to answer questions, no matter how disagreeable or dangerous, just because they were asked. Of course, we journalists would be out of business if they didn’t  (Judith Martin Quotes)
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