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John Quotes
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Friendship Quotes
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Text Quotes
Have you folks been following the controversy with John Kerry and his service in Vietnam and the Swift Boat campaign? It all took place in Vietnam and now it just won’t go away. I was thinking about this - if John Kerry had just ducked the war like everybody else he wouldn’t have this trouble (John Quotes)
John Kerry told Tom Ridge he was too busy to receive a Homeland Security briefing. I thought that was odd, since you’re not supposed to ignore terrorist threats until after you become president (John Quotes)
There was an embarrassing moment at a recent Democratic fundraiser. When John Kerry was handed a $10 million dollar check, he said, ‘I do.’ (John Quotes)
‘Shrek 2’ made over $120 million during its first week. In a related story, John Kerry asked Shrek to marry him (John Quotes)
John Kerry suspended his campaign for five days this week in honor of President Reagan. And right now, he’s ahead in the polls. How’s that make him feel? Disappears for a week and he’s up in the polls. What else can he do now but go into hiding (John Quotes)
John Kerry met with Ralph Nader last week. Both sides of every issue were discussed. And then, Nader spoke (John Quotes)
John Kerry and Ralph Nader met face-to-face, it was a historic meeting. Astronomers said today their meeting actually created what is called a ‘charisma black hole.’ (John Quotes)
Courtney Love said she once escorted Kerry to a concert. John Kerry once went out with Courtney Love and he’s questioning Bush’s judgment (John Quotes)
John Kerry announced his plan for how to handle those poor naked prisoners. His wife is going to buy them all a $1,000 Armani suit (John Quotes)
President Bush listed his income as $822,000. You know what John Kerry calls someone who earns $822,000? Not even worth dating (John Quotes)
John Kerry accused President Bush of catering to the rich. You know, as opposed to John Kerry who just marries them (John Quotes)
They say John Kerry is the first Democratic presidential candidate in history to raise $50 million in a three-month period. Actually, that’s nothing. He once raised $500 million with two words: ‘I do.’ (John Quotes)
John Kerry will undergo surgery to repair his right shoulder. He originally hurt it when he suddenly switched positions on Iraq (John Quotes)
Today, John Kerry announced a fool-proof plan to wipe out the $500B deficit. John Kerry has a plan, he’s going to put it on his wife’s Gold Card (John Quotes)
The Secret Service has announced it is doubling its protection for John Kerry. You can understand why - with two positions on every issue, he has twice as many people mad at him (John Quotes)
John Kerry says that foreign leaders want him to be president, but that he can’t name the foreign leaders. That’s all right, President Bush can’t name them either (John Quotes)
This is so weird. I saw the new John Kerry campaign commercial and he says, ‘I’m John Kerry and I approve of this message - if I have one.’ (John Quotes)
John Kerry described his Republican critics as ‘the most crooked, lying group I’ve ever seen.’ Now, that’s saying something, because Kerry’s both a lawyer and a politician (John Quotes)
John Kerry says that he wants to debate President Bush once a month until the election. This could be a risky move for Senator Kerry. If Bush doesn’t show up for the debates, John Kerry may end up debating an empty chair. And that could be pretty much a toss up as to which one has the better personality (John Quotes)
The White House begun airing their TV commercials to re-elect the president, and the John Kerry campaign is condemning his use of 9/11 in the ads. He said, it is unconscionable to use the tragic memory of a war in order to get elected, unless of course, it’s the Vietnam War (John Quotes)
John Kerry has promised to take this country back from the wealthy. Who better than the guy worth $700 million to take the country back? See, he knows how the wealthy think. He can spy on them at his country club, at his place in Palm Beach, at his house in the Hamptons. He’s like a mole for the working man (John Quotes)
John Kerry will be the Democratic nominee for president. Democrats finally found someone who is Al Gore without the flash and the sizzle (John Quotes)
Kerry has already begun his search for a running mate. They say that because John Edwards still has $50 million in campaign money, Kerry might pick him. Pick him? Hey, for $50 million, Kerry will marry him (John Quotes)
According to a new study, Botox injections can help back pain. So you see, that’s why John Kerry had all that Botox - his back was killing him from all that flip-flopping on issues (John Quotes)
It really kind of looks like now that John Kerry is on his way to the presidential nomination. The only thing that can sink John Kerry now is an Al Gore endorsement (John Quotes)
Presidential campaign getting kind of ugly, did you hear about this? Yesterday, a 27-year-old woman came for to deny rumors that she had an affair with Democratic front-runner John Kerry. The woman added, ‘I would never cheat on Bill Clinton.’ (John Quotes)
Senator John Kerry released his plan today to eliminate the deficit. He said all we have to do is find a really rich country like Switzerland and marry it (John Quotes)
The Democrats are all over this. Democratic strategists feel John Kerry’s war record means he can beat Bush. They say when it comes down to it voters will always vote for a war hero over someone who tried to get out of the war. I’ll be sure to mention that to Bob Dole when I see him (John Quotes)
John Kerry said today that he wants to get rid of tax cuts for the rich and his wife said, ‘Hey, shut up! What’s the matter with you?! Are you nuts?!’ (John Quotes)
In a new issue of Esquire magazine, they revealed that before he was married to Teresa Heinz, Senator John Kerry dated Morgan Fairchild, Michelle Phillips, Catherine Oxenberg and Dana Delany. Finally a Democratic presidential candidate with good taste in women (John Quotes)