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John Mulaney Quotes

Being president looks like the worst job in the world Picture Quote #1

Excuse me: I am homeless. I am gay. I have AIDS. I’m new in town Picture Quote #1

You can do good work simply staying up all night and eating nothing but junk food, but probably not in the long term Picture Quote #1

People having expectations maybe means they’ve enjoyed what I’ve done Picture Quote #1

On Friday night, it was fun [to know] that if you bombed, or whatever was going on, that you’d be on TV at 11. It was a cool feeling, and you’d get a couple hundred dollars Picture Quote #1

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My standup persona is like I’ll heighten things, but I’m observing the world as it is in sort of a heightened emotional state Picture Quote #1

Having done stand-up on television and in stand-up specials for like Comedy Central, you learn quickly that for that type of performance you’re playing to the camera Picture Quote #1

I kind of thought, wouldn’t it be funny to take a swing at being on the weird side of mainstream? Picture Quote #1

I have a lot of stories about being a kid because it was the last time I was interesting Picture Quote #1

In terms of, like, instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin Picture Quote #1

I never turn on the crowd. Sometimes, you think it’s a terrible show, and then afterward, sometimes people say they really liked it. So turning on the crowd is only going to alienate the few people who might like it Picture Quote #1

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I’m a very lucky person. I’m an idiot, and I’ve shoveled through life rather nicely so far, so I don’t feel like I deserve good treatment Picture Quote #1

Going on the road for long stretches can seem daunting, and I certainly miss being home sometimes, but the chance to see so many different cities, let alone perform in them, is something I am really grateful for Picture Quote #1

The more you do stuff, the better you get at dealing with how you still fail at it a lot of the time Picture Quote #1

I like making fun of myself a lot. I like being made fun of, too. I’ve always enjoyed it. There’s just something really, really funny about someone tearing into me Picture Quote #1

You can’t always see both sides of the story. Eventually, you have to pick a side and stick with it. No more equivocating. You have to commit Picture Quote #1

All my money is in a savings account. My dad has explained the stock market to me maybe 75 times. I still don’t understand it Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

Everyone’s very relaxed about brand names in television (John Mulaney Quotes) Being president looks like the worst job in the world (John Mulaney Quotes) Excuse me: I am homeless. I am gay. I have AIDS. I’m new in town (John Mulaney Quotes) You can do good work simply staying up all night and eating nothing but junk food, but probably not in the long term. (John Mulaney Quotes) People having expectations maybe means they’ve enjoyed what I’ve done (John Mulaney Quotes) On Friday night, it was fun [to know] that if you bombed, or whatever was going on, that you’d be on TV at 11. It was a cool feeling, and you’d get a couple hundred dollars. (John Mulaney Quotes) My standup persona is like I’ll heighten things, but I’m observing the world as it is in sort of a heightened emotional state. (John Mulaney Quotes) Having done stand-up on television and in stand-up specials for like Comedy Central, you learn quickly that for that type of performance you’re playing to the camera. (John Mulaney Quotes) I kind of thought, wouldn’t it be funny to take a swing at being on the weird side of mainstream? (John Mulaney Quotes) I have a lot of stories about being a kid because it was the last time I was interesting (John Mulaney Quotes) In terms of, like, instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin (John Mulaney Quotes) I never turn on the crowd. Sometimes, you think it’s a terrible show, and then afterward, sometimes people say they really liked it. So turning on the crowd is only going to alienate the few people who might like it (John Mulaney Quotes) I’m a very lucky person. I’m an idiot, and I’ve shoveled through life rather nicely so far, so I don’t feel like I deserve good treatment (John Mulaney Quotes) Going on the road for long stretches can seem daunting, and I certainly miss being home sometimes, but the chance to see so many different cities, let alone perform in them, is something I am really grateful for (John Mulaney Quotes) The more you do stuff, the better you get at dealing with how you still fail at it a lot of the time (John Mulaney Quotes) I like making fun of myself a lot. I like being made fun of, too. I’ve always enjoyed it. There’s just something really, really funny about someone tearing into me (John Mulaney Quotes) You can’t always see both sides of the story. Eventually, you have to pick a side and stick with it. No more equivocating. You have to commit (John Mulaney Quotes) All my money is in a savings account. My dad has explained the stock market to me maybe 75 times. I still don’t understand it (John Mulaney Quotes)