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Jenna McCarthy Quotes

[Newlyweds,] these optimistic young bastards, promise to honor and cherish each other through hot flashes and mid-life crises and a cumulative 50-pound weight gain, until that far-off day when one of them is finally able to rest in peace. You know, because they can’t hear the snoring anymore Picture Quote #1

What do women do when they get together? We sit around and talk! Men, not so much. My theory is that this difference is genetic and dates back to the hunter-gatherer societies, when the men had to be quiet as they hunted, lest they scare away the bison and then everyone starved to death and it was all their fault Picture Quote #1

Divorce is contagious. That’s right - when you have a close couple friend split up, it increases your chances of getting a divorce by 75 percent Picture Quote #1

I don’t care how handsome or fabulous or funny the groom is, or how sweet and accommodating the bride, or vice versa. Marriage is hard Picture Quote #1

The man you married is yours to have and to hold for the rest of ever, even if he starts chewing tobacco or decides to pierce his hairy nipple and buy a Corvette, because you very plainly said - or at least implied - you were in it for better or for worse Picture Quote #1

If you had asked me when I was 28 and in my wedding dress if I ever thought I would end up in my forties flipping my husband the bird over potato chips, I’d say you were crazy Picture Quote #1

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Beyond the profound federal perks, married people make more money; we’re healthier, physically and emotionally; we produce happier, more stable and more successful kids; we have more sex than our supposedly swinging single friends; we even live longer Picture Quote #1

Merely watching a romantic comedy causes relationship satisfaction to plummet. Apparently, the bitter realization that maybe it could happen to us, but it obviously hasn’t and it probably never will, makes our lives seem unbearably grim in comparison Picture Quote #1

I don’t care how handsome or fabulous or funny the groom is, or how sweet and accommodating the bride, or vice versa. Marriage is hard Picture Quote #1

If you had asked me when I was 28 and in my wedding dress if I ever thought I would end up in my forties flipping my husband the bird over potato chips, I’d say you were crazy Picture Quote #1

Subsisting on a diet drawn from one food group isn’t healthy or gratifying. Even eating cupcakes 24/7 eventually would get old! Picture Quote #1

Women tell stories; men want answers. Guys get impatient when we drone on forever; we get frustrated when they tune out Picture Quote #1

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One study found that people who smile in childhood photographs are less likely to get a divorce Picture Quote #1

As relationships progress, the time you spend smooching diminishes. Where kissing was once an enjoyable entree unto itself, it becomes a mere appetizer couples hasten through on the way to the main course Picture Quote #1

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[Newlyweds,] these optimistic young bastards, promise to honor and cherish each other through hot flashes and mid-life crises and a cumulative 50-pound weight gain, until that far-off day when one of them is finally able to rest in peace. You know, because they can’t hear the snoring anymore (Jenna McCarthy Quotes) What do women do when they get together? We sit around and talk! Men, not so much. My theory is that this difference is genetic and dates back to the hunter-gatherer societies, when the men had to be quiet as they hunted, lest they scare away the bison and then everyone starved to death and it was all their fault (Jenna McCarthy Quotes) Divorce is contagious. That’s right - when you have a close couple friend split up, it increases your chances of getting a divorce by 75 percent (Jenna McCarthy Quotes) I don’t care how handsome or fabulous or funny the groom is, or how sweet and accommodating the bride, or vice versa. Marriage is hard. (Jenna McCarthy Quotes) The man you married is yours to have and to hold for the rest of ever, even if he starts chewing tobacco or decides to pierce his hairy nipple and buy a Corvette, because you very plainly said - or at least implied - you were in it for better or for worse. (Jenna McCarthy Quotes) If you had asked me when I was 28 and in my wedding dress if I ever thought I would end up in my forties flipping my husband the bird over potato chips, I’d say you were crazy. (Jenna McCarthy Quotes) Beyond the profound federal perks, married people make more money; we’re healthier, physically and emotionally; we produce happier, more stable and more successful kids; we have more sex than our supposedly swinging single friends; we even live longer (Jenna McCarthy Quotes) Merely watching a romantic comedy causes relationship satisfaction to plummet. Apparently, the bitter realization that maybe it could happen to us, but it obviously hasn’t and it probably never will, makes our lives seem unbearably grim in comparison (Jenna McCarthy Quotes) I don’t care how handsome or fabulous or funny the groom is, or how sweet and accommodating the bride, or vice versa. Marriage is hard (Jenna McCarthy Quotes) If you had asked me when I was 28 and in my wedding dress if I ever thought I would end up in my forties flipping my husband the bird over potato chips, I’d say you were crazy (Jenna McCarthy Quotes) Subsisting on a diet drawn from one food group isn’t healthy or gratifying. Even eating cupcakes 24/7 eventually would get old! (Jenna McCarthy Quotes) Women tell stories; men want answers. Guys get impatient when we drone on forever; we get frustrated when they tune out (Jenna McCarthy Quotes) One study found that people who smile in childhood photographs are less likely to get a divorce (Jenna McCarthy Quotes) As relationships progress, the time you spend smooching diminishes. Where kissing was once an enjoyable entree unto itself, it becomes a mere appetizer couples hasten through on the way to the main course (Jenna McCarthy Quotes)