|

|

Advertisements

Gilbert Gottfried Quotes

Back when Jerry Seinfeld was just another comedian hanging around the clubs, I’d imitate him to amuse myself and the other comics. The club owners would say, ‘What are you doing that for? Nobody knows him.’ Picture Quote #1

I’m terrible when I have to fill up free time. My days, if I’m not working, I wake up and figure out a way to kill time until it’s time to go to sleep Picture Quote #1

I’m a very anti-vacation person. Because I’m always getting on planes for work, to me, a vacation is when I don’t have to get on a plane Picture Quote #1

I understand being less sexy than Osama bin Laden, but not less sexy than Carrot Top. That, I find offensive Picture Quote #1

The pressure to being a comedian is being funny, but I’ve given that up, so there is no pressure whatsoever Picture Quote #1

One pleasant surprise was when I interviewed Butch Patrick. I was expecting this bitter old drunk, and instead he had a total sense of humor about his career and his drinking and drug problem Picture Quote #1

Advertisements

If someone says that I’m the best at anything, I always just agree with them. I’m certainly not gonna argue Picture Quote #1

I’m used to explaining to people why my jokes were funny Picture Quote #1

If someone else is paying for it, food just tastes a lot better Picture Quote #1

No, generally I think influence is used as a nice word for plagiarism Picture Quote #1

You never know what people will choose to be offended by Picture Quote #1

I always try to avoid anything that has to do with my life Picture Quote #1

Advertisements

I changed the face of comedy. I used to be funny Picture Quote #1

You know what my theory is? Accept me or go to hell Picture Quote #1

I think a lot of people have too much time on their hands Picture Quote #1

I’m one of those people that picks up the remote control and just keep hitting constantly, even if I like the show I’m watching Picture Quote #1

I’ve never been one of those who wanted to fill my calendar up 90 percent of the time Picture Quote #1

I wanted to be a brain surgeon, but I had a bad habit of dropping things Picture Quote #1

Advertisements

I just don’t accept midgets as human beings. There’s only so much political correctness I can accept Picture Quote #1

Any misfortune that happens to another person is funny. If it happens to someone else and not me, it’s very funny Picture Quote #1

There are certain things I don’t want to joke about. If it’s about somebody else, it’s fine. If it’s about me, I think it’s totally insensitive! Picture Quote #1

There definitely is exposure in reality shows, but the exposure will basically get you more reality shows Picture Quote #1

A lot of people who claim they’re political comedians are just comedians who have opinions. But they stop being funny the minute they give their opinions Picture Quote #1

I don’t know if I change my act from century to century. Sometimes I’m onstage doing imitations and references to people who have been dead for 50 years Picture Quote #1

Advertisements

Japan is really advanced. They don’t go to the beach. The beach comes to them Picture Quote #1

Every time something pops in my head, I think twice about it and I do it anyway Picture Quote #1

If they’d wanted a nice parrot, they wouldn’t have asked for me Picture Quote #1

People have many theories about comedy, but being just plain funny is the one most important thing Picture Quote #1

I was the class podiatrist. I never made it to class clown. I wasn’t funny enough. I would examine feet and prescribe and ointment. It was a sad childhood Picture Quote #1

The joy of the roasts is to watch people get hurt and offended, and then have to laugh to pretend they’re a good sport Picture Quote #1

1 2 3

Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

Advertisements

Text Quotes

Back when Jerry Seinfeld was just another comedian hanging around the clubs, I’d imitate him to amuse myself and the other comics. The club owners would say, ‘What are you doing that for? Nobody knows him.’ (Gilbert Gottfried Quotes) I’m terrible when I have to fill up free time. My days, if I’m not working, I wake up and figure out a way to kill time until it’s time to go to sleep. (Gilbert Gottfried Quotes) I’m a very anti-vacation person. Because I’m always getting on planes for work, to me, a vacation is when I don’t have to get on a plane (Gilbert Gottfried Quotes) I understand being less sexy than Osama bin Laden, but not less sexy than Carrot Top. That, I find offensive (Gilbert Gottfried Quotes) The pressure to being a comedian is being funny, but I’ve given that up, so there is no pressure whatsoever (Gilbert Gottfried Quotes) One pleasant surprise was when I interviewed Butch Patrick. I was expecting this bitter old drunk, and instead he had a total sense of humor about his career and his drinking and drug problem (Gilbert Gottfried Quotes) If someone says that I’m the best at anything, I always just agree with them. I’m certainly not gonna argue (Gilbert Gottfried Quotes) I’m used to explaining to people why my jokes were funny (Gilbert Gottfried Quotes) If someone else is paying for it, food just tastes a lot better (Gilbert Gottfried Quotes) No, generally I think influence is used as a nice word for plagiarism (Gilbert Gottfried Quotes) You never know what people will choose to be offended by (Gilbert Gottfried Quotes) I always try to avoid anything that has to do with my life (Gilbert Gottfried Quotes) I changed the face of comedy. I used to be funny (Gilbert Gottfried Quotes) You know what my theory is? Accept me or go to hell (Gilbert Gottfried Quotes) I think a lot of people have too much time on their hands (Gilbert Gottfried Quotes) I’m one of those people that picks up the remote control and just keep hitting constantly, even if I like the show I’m watching (Gilbert Gottfried Quotes) I’ve never been one of those who wanted to fill my calendar up 90 percent of the time (Gilbert Gottfried Quotes) I wanted to be a brain surgeon, but I had a bad habit of dropping things (Gilbert Gottfried Quotes) I just don’t accept midgets as human beings. There’s only so much political correctness I can accept (Gilbert Gottfried Quotes) Any misfortune that happens to another person is funny. If it happens to someone else and not me, it’s very funny (Gilbert Gottfried Quotes) There are certain things I don’t want to joke about. If it’s about somebody else, it’s fine. If it’s about me, I think it’s totally insensitive! (Gilbert Gottfried Quotes) There definitely is exposure in reality shows, but the exposure will basically get you more reality shows (Gilbert Gottfried Quotes) A lot of people who claim they’re political comedians are just comedians who have opinions. But they stop being funny the minute they give their opinions (Gilbert Gottfried Quotes) I don’t know if I change my act from century to century. Sometimes I’m onstage doing imitations and references to people who have been dead for 50 years (Gilbert Gottfried Quotes) Japan is really advanced. They don’t go to the beach. The beach comes to them (Gilbert Gottfried Quotes) Every time something pops in my head, I think twice about it and I do it anyway (Gilbert Gottfried Quotes) If they’d wanted a nice parrot, they wouldn’t have asked for me (Gilbert Gottfried Quotes) People have many theories about comedy, but being just plain funny is the one most important thing (Gilbert Gottfried Quotes) I was the class podiatrist. I never made it to class clown. I wasn’t funny enough. I would examine feet and prescribe and ointment. It was a sad childhood (Gilbert Gottfried Quotes) The joy of the roasts is to watch people get hurt and offended, and then have to laugh to pretend they’re a good sport (Gilbert Gottfried Quotes)

1 2 3