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Dave Attell Quotes

I don’t watch reality TV Picture Quote #1

Jesse Joyce is a great writer Picture Quote #1

I don’t watch reality TV. I’m cool Picture Quote #1

I gotta quit smoking, doctor’s orders, and the drinking, court orders Picture Quote #1

I watch the Discovery Channel, and you know what I’ve discovered? I need a girlfriend Picture Quote #1

When I was a kid, I really loved Indians. Native Americans. Pardon. Me Picture Quote #1

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You should’ve hung out, man Picture Quote #1

I used to do drugs, but that was way back there Picture Quote #1

Sparklers are the gay cousins of the fireworks family Picture Quote #1

Women have all the power because women have all the vaginas Picture Quote #1

I’m not really a music guy Picture Quote #1

I’m not like a performer type Picture Quote #1

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I never wanted to be famous Picture Quote #1

I have soundtracks for a lot of stuff Picture Quote #1

I have no grand scheme Picture Quote #1

Being on the road is kind of lonely Picture Quote #1

I get recognized, but I’m not really a famous famous Picture Quote #1

Sometimes you need a cigarette. Like after you have sex with a beautiful woman or a confused young man Picture Quote #1

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Let’s say you’re in a situation where crystal meth can help you. Like, I don’t know, you have too many teeth Picture Quote #1

For a long time the people at my shows were sort of the Pantera - tattoo trucker guys, really cool dudes, but I don't know what happened to them. That's the crowd that I like, the ones that don't get so offended just to be offended Picture Quote #1

Doesn’t matter what you say or do; people can always find a way to call you a dick Picture Quote #1

The sun comes up and so does your dick. Cause at heart your dick’s a farmer! Picture Quote #1

Some things are the same wherever you go. Like, if it feels like more than two fingers, it’s probably a dick Picture Quote #1

I don’t think I’m a star or a celebrity or any thing like that Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

I don’t watch reality TV (Dave Attell Quotes) Jesse Joyce is a great writer (Dave Attell Quotes) I don’t watch reality TV. I’m cool (Dave Attell Quotes) I gotta quit smoking, doctor’s orders, and the drinking, court orders (Dave Attell Quotes) I watch the Discovery Channel, and you know what I’ve discovered? I need a girlfriend (Dave Attell Quotes) When I was a kid, I really loved Indians. Native Americans. Pardon. Me (Dave Attell Quotes) You should’ve hung out, man (Dave Attell Quotes) I used to do drugs, but that was way back there (Dave Attell Quotes) Sparklers are the gay cousins of the fireworks family (Dave Attell Quotes) Women have all the power because women have all the vaginas (Dave Attell Quotes) I’m not really a music guy (Dave Attell Quotes) I’m not like a performer type (Dave Attell Quotes) I never wanted to be famous (Dave Attell Quotes) I have soundtracks for a lot of stuff (Dave Attell Quotes) I have no grand scheme (Dave Attell Quotes) Being on the road is kind of lonely (Dave Attell Quotes) I get recognized, but I’m not really a famous famous (Dave Attell Quotes) Sometimes you need a cigarette. Like after you have sex with a beautiful woman or a confused young man (Dave Attell Quotes) Let’s say you’re in a situation where crystal meth can help you. Like, I don’t know, you have too many teeth (Dave Attell Quotes) For a long time the people at my shows were sort of the Pantera - tattoo trucker guys, really cool dudes, but I don't know what happened to them. That's the crowd that I like, the ones that don't get so offended just to be offended (Dave Attell Quotes) Doesn’t matter what you say or do; people can always find a way to call you a dick (Dave Attell Quotes) The sun comes up and so does your dick. Cause at heart your dick’s a farmer! (Dave Attell Quotes) Some things are the same wherever you go. Like, if it feels like more than two fingers, it’s probably a dick (Dave Attell Quotes) I don’t think I’m a star or a celebrity or any thing like that (Dave Attell Quotes)