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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Friendship Quotes
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Text Quotes
Slang is the speech of him who robs the literary garbage carts on their way to the dumps (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
Slang is a foul pool at which every dunce fills his bucket, and then sets up as a fountain (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
No country is so wild and difficult but men will make it a theater of war (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
Loquacity, n. A disorder which renders the sufferer unable to curb his tongue when you wish to talk (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
For every man there is something in the vocabulary that would stick to him like a second skin. His enemies have only to find it (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
Heathen, n. A benighted creature who has the folly to worship something that he can see and feel (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
Idiot, n. A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
While your friend holds you affectionately by both your hands, you are safe, for you can watch both his (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
Patriotism is as fierce as a fever, pitiless as the grave, blind as a stone, and irrational as a headless hen (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
Bigamy, n. A mistake in taste for which the wisdom of the future will adjudge a punishment called trigamy (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
An absolute monarchy is one in which the sovereign does as he pleases so long as he pleases the assassins (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
Conversation: A fair for the display of the minor mental commodities, each exhibitor being too intent upon the arrangement of his own wares to observe those of his neighbor (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
As a means of dispensing formulated ignorance our boasted public school system is not without merit; it spreads out education sufficiently thin to give everyone enough to make him a more competent fool than he would have been without it (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
Clarinet n. An instrument of torture operated by a person with cotton in his ears. There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
Fear has no brains; it is an idiot. The dismal witness that it bears and the cowardly counsel that it whispers are unrelated (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
It has been observed that one’s nose is never so happy as when thrust into the affairs of others from which some physiologists have drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
When among the graves of thy fellows, walk with circumspection; thine own is open at thy feet (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
An auctioneer is a man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
Cat: a soft indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
A hollow edifice erected for the habitation of man, rat, mouse, beetle, cockroach, fly, mosquito, flea, bacillus, and microbe (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance. Discovery of truth is the sole purpose of philosophy, which is the most ancient occupation of the human mind and has a fair prospect of existing with increasing activity to the end of time (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
I keep a conscience uncorrupted by religion, a judgment undimmed by politics and patriotism, a heart untainted by friendships and sentiments unsoured by animosities (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
A leech who, having penetrated the shell of a turtle only to find that the creature has long been dead, deems it expedient to form a new attachment to a fresh turtle (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
Here's to woman! Would that we could fold into her arms without falling into her hands (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
A miracle is an act or event out of the order of nature and unaccountable, as beating a normal hand of four kings and an ace with four aces and a king (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
The natural equipment to accomplish some small part of the meaner ambitions distinguishing able men from dead ones. In the last analysis ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
The circus a place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
One who, professing virtues that he does not respect, secures the advantage of seeming to be what he despises (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)