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Alice Miller Quotes

The mother can feel herself the center of attention, for her child’s eyes follow her everywhere. A child cannot run away from her as her own mother once did Picture Quote #1

I was not out to paint beautiful pictures; even painting good pictures was not important to me. I wanted only to help the truth burst forth Picture Quote #1

It is precisely because a child’s feelings are so strong that they cannot be repressed without serious consequences. The stronger a prisoner is, the thicker the prison walls have to be, which impede or completely prevent later emotional growth Picture Quote #1

Society chooses to disregard the mistreatment of children, judging it to be altogether normal because it is so commonplace Picture Quote #1

The more we idealize the past and refuse to acknowledge our childhood sufferings, the more we pass them on unconsciously to the next generation Picture Quote #1

Only the mourning for what one has missed at the crucial time can lead to real healing Picture Quote #1

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The abused children are alone with their suffering, not only within the family, but also within themselves. They cannot crate a place in their own soul where they could cry their beart out Picture Quote #1

We don’t yet know, above all, what the world might be like if children were to grow up without being subjected to humiliation, if parents would respect them and take them seriously as people Picture Quote #1

Wherever I look, I see signs of the commandment to honor one’s parents and nowhere of a commandment that calls for the respect of a child Picture Quote #1

Contempt is the weapon of the weak and a defense against one’s own despised and unwanted feelings Picture Quote #1

It is very difficult for people to believe the simple fact that every persecutor was once a victim. Yet it should be very obvious that someone who was allowed to feel free and strong from childhood does not have the need to humiliate another person Picture Quote #1

Regression to the stage of early infancy is not a suitable method in and of itself. Such a regression can only be effective if it happens in the natural course of therapy and if the client is able to maintain adult consciousness at the same time Picture Quote #1

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Sadism is not an infectious disease that strikes a person all of a sudden. It has a long prehistory in childhood and always originates in the desperate fantasies of a child who is searching for a way out of a hopeless situation Picture Quote #1

The reason why parents mistreat their children has less to do with character and temperament than with the fact that they were mistreated themselves and were not permitted to defend themselves Picture Quote #1

There are people who have benefited from therapy without being confronted with the past at all Picture Quote #1

Those children who are beaten will in turn give beatings, those who are intimidated will be intimidating, those who are humiliated will impose humiliation, and those whose souls are murdered will murder Picture Quote #1

Genuine feelings cannot be produced, nor can they be eradicated. We can only repress them, delude ourselves, and deceive our bodies. The body sticks to the facts Picture Quote #1

Experience has taught us that we have only one enduring weapon in our struggle against mental illness: the emotional discovery and emotional acceptance of the truth in the individual and unique history of our childhood Picture Quote #1

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The art of not experiencing feelings. A child can experience her feelings only when there is somebody there who accepts her fully, understands her, and supports her. If that person is missing, if the child must risk losing the mother’s love of her substitute in order to feel, then she will repress emotions Picture Quote #1

Without realizing that the past is constantly determining their present actions, they avoid learning anything about their history. They continue to live in their repressed childhood situation, ignoring the fact that is no longer exists, continuing to fear and avoid dangers that, although once real, have not been real for a long time Picture Quote #1

One of the best ways of keeping your temper in an argument, as most of us know only too well, is not to listen to anything the other person has to say Picture Quote #1

In the short term, corporal punishment may produce obedience. But it is a fact documented by research that in the long term the results are inability to learn, violence and rage, bullying, cruelty, inability to feel another’s pain, especially that of one’s own children, even drug addiction and suicide, unless there are enlightened or at least helping witnesses on hand to prevent that development Picture Quote #1

The achievement of freedom is hardly possible without the felt mourning. This ability to mourn, i.e, to give up the illusion of a happy childhood, can restore vitality and creativity if a person is able to experience that he was never loved as a child for what he was, but for his achievements, success and good qualities. And that he sacrificed his childhood for this love, this will shake him very deeply Picture Quote #1

The commandment to refrain from placing blame on our parents, deeply imprinted in us by our upbringing, skillfully performs the function of hiding essential truths from us Picture Quote #1

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We can never do the right thing as long as we are out to please someone else Picture Quote #1

What is addiction, really? It is a sign, a signal, a symptom of distress. It is a language that tells us about a plight that must be understood Picture Quote #1

Child abuse damages a person for life and that damage is in no way diminished by the ignorance of the perpetrator. It is only with the uncovering of the complete truth as it affects all those involved that a genuinely viable solution can be found to the dangers of child abuse Picture Quote #1

People who, as children, were intellectually far beyond their parents and therefore admired by them, but who also therefore had to solve their own problems alone. These people, who give us a feeling of their intellectual strength and will power, also seem to demand that we, too, ought to fight off any feeling of weakness with intellectual means. In their presence one feels one cannot be recognized as a person with problems just as they and their problems were unrecognized by their parents, for whom he always had to be strong Picture Quote #1

Children who are respected learn respect. Children who are cared for learn to care for those weaker than themselves. Children who are loved for what they are cannot learn intolerance. In an environment such as this, they will develop their own ideals, which can be nothing other than humane, since they grew out of the experience of love Picture Quote #1

Genuine feelings are never the product of conscious effort. They are quite simply there, and they are there for a very good reason, even if that reason is not always apparent Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

The mother can feel herself the center of attention, for her child’s eyes follow her everywhere. A child cannot run away from her as her own mother once did (Alice Miller Quotes) I was not out to paint beautiful pictures; even painting good pictures was not important to me. I wanted only to help the truth burst forth (Alice Miller Quotes) It is precisely because a child’s feelings are so strong that they cannot be repressed without serious consequences. The stronger a prisoner is, the thicker the prison walls have to be, which impede or completely prevent later emotional growth (Alice Miller Quotes) Society chooses to disregard the mistreatment of children, judging it to be altogether normal because it is so commonplace (Alice Miller Quotes) The more we idealize the past and refuse to acknowledge our childhood sufferings, the more we pass them on unconsciously to the next generation (Alice Miller Quotes) Only the mourning for what one has missed at the crucial time can lead to real healing (Alice Miller Quotes) The abused children are alone with their suffering, not only within the family, but also within themselves. They cannot crate a place in their own soul where they could cry their beart out (Alice Miller Quotes) We don’t yet know, above all, what the world might be like if children were to grow up without being subjected to humiliation, if parents would respect them and take them seriously as people (Alice Miller Quotes) Wherever I look, I see signs of the commandment to honor one’s parents and nowhere of a commandment that calls for the respect of a child (Alice Miller Quotes) Contempt is the weapon of the weak and a defense against one’s own despised and unwanted feelings (Alice Miller Quotes) It is very difficult for people to believe the simple fact that every persecutor was once a victim. Yet it should be very obvious that someone who was allowed to feel free and strong from childhood does not have the need to humiliate another person (Alice Miller Quotes) Regression to the stage of early infancy is not a suitable method in and of itself. Such a regression can only be effective if it happens in the natural course of therapy and if the client is able to maintain adult consciousness at the same time (Alice Miller Quotes) Sadism is not an infectious disease that strikes a person all of a sudden. It has a long prehistory in childhood and always originates in the desperate fantasies of a child who is searching for a way out of a hopeless situation (Alice Miller Quotes) The reason why parents mistreat their children has less to do with character and temperament than with the fact that they were mistreated themselves and were not permitted to defend themselves (Alice Miller Quotes) There are people who have benefited from therapy without being confronted with the past at all (Alice Miller Quotes) Those children who are beaten will in turn give beatings, those who are intimidated will be intimidating, those who are humiliated will impose humiliation, and those whose souls are murdered will murder (Alice Miller Quotes) Genuine feelings cannot be produced, nor can they be eradicated. We can only repress them, delude ourselves, and deceive our bodies. The body sticks to the facts (Alice Miller Quotes) Experience has taught us that we have only one enduring weapon in our struggle against mental illness: the emotional discovery and emotional acceptance of the truth in the individual and unique history of our childhood (Alice Miller Quotes) The art of not experiencing feelings. A child can experience her feelings only when there is somebody there who accepts her fully, understands her, and supports her. If that person is missing, if the child must risk losing the mother’s love of her substitute in order to feel, then she will repress emotions (Alice Miller Quotes) Without realizing that the past is constantly determining their present actions, they avoid learning anything about their history. They continue to live in their repressed childhood situation, ignoring the fact that is no longer exists, continuing to fear and avoid dangers that, although once real, have not been real for a long time (Alice Miller Quotes) One of the best ways of keeping your temper in an argument, as most of us know only too well, is not to listen to anything the other person has to say (Alice Miller Quotes) In the short term, corporal punishment may produce obedience. But it is a fact documented by research that in the long term the results are inability to learn, violence and rage, bullying, cruelty, inability to feel another’s pain, especially that of one’s own children, even drug addiction and suicide, unless there are enlightened or at least helping witnesses on hand to prevent that development (Alice Miller Quotes) The achievement of freedom is hardly possible without the felt mourning. This ability to mourn, i.e, to give up the illusion of a happy childhood, can restore vitality and creativity if a person is able to experience that he was never loved as a child for what he was, but for his achievements, success and good qualities. And that he sacrificed his childhood for this love, this will shake him very deeply (Alice Miller Quotes) The commandment to refrain from placing blame on our parents, deeply imprinted in us by our upbringing, skillfully performs the function of hiding essential truths from us (Alice Miller Quotes) We can never do the right thing as long as we are out to please someone else (Alice Miller Quotes) What is addiction, really? It is a sign, a signal, a symptom of distress. It is a language that tells us about a plight that must be understood (Alice Miller Quotes) Child abuse damages a person for life and that damage is in no way diminished by the ignorance of the perpetrator. It is only with the uncovering of the complete truth as it affects all those involved that a genuinely viable solution can be found to the dangers of child abuse (Alice Miller Quotes) People who, as children, were intellectually far beyond their parents and therefore admired by them, but who also therefore had to solve their own problems alone. These people, who give us a feeling of their intellectual strength and will power, also seem to demand that we, too, ought to fight off any feeling of weakness with intellectual means. In their presence one feels one cannot be recognized as a person with problems just as they and their problems were unrecognized by their parents, for whom he always had to be strong (Alice Miller Quotes) Children who are respected learn respect. Children who are cared for learn to care for those weaker than themselves. Children who are loved for what they are cannot learn intolerance. In an environment such as this, they will develop their own ideals, which can be nothing other than humane, since they grew out of the experience of love (Alice Miller Quotes) Genuine feelings are never the product of conscious effort. They are quite simply there, and they are there for a very good reason, even if that reason is not always apparent (Alice Miller Quotes)

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