|

|

Tom Lehrer Quotes

Don’t drink the water and don’t breathe the air! Picture Quote #1

I loved high school, but I wouldn’t want to do it again Picture Quote #1

When you get to fifty-two food becomes more important than sex Picture Quote #1

I always prided myself on at least trying to be literate and use the right words, and if the audience didn’t get it, then they could go home and look it up Picture Quote #1

I was immersed in popular songs of the time, of the 30s and 40s. I was writing songs, making fun of the attitudes of those songs, in the musical style of the songs themselves; love songs, folk songs, marches, football Picture Quote #1

Be careful not to do your good deeds when there’s no one watching you Picture Quote #1

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just to be sure - Funny Quotes

Dogs teach us a lot of things but none more important than to love unconditionally - Dog Quotes

When I was in college, there were certain words you couldn’t say in front of a girl. Now you can say them, but you can’t say ‘girl.’ Picture Quote #1

The people who were in college in the 50s were my first real audience, and their kids, the people who found my records in the cabinet during their ‘Mad ‘magazine years picked me up also Picture Quote #1

I think that if people are having trouble communicating with one another, the least they can do is SHUT UP Picture Quote #1

I do have a cause, though. It is obscenity. I’m for it Picture Quote #1

The Army has carried the American ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed and color, but also on ability Picture Quote #1

My last public performance for money was in 1967. For free, it was 1972, with the exception of two little one-shot, one-song things. But thats just for friends, out of friendship for the people involved, and also because it was fun Picture Quote #1

I meant to behave but there were too many other options - Funny Quotes

I like me a little bit more when i'm with you - Love Quotes

I’m very proud of myself on my, whatever the literacy is, I’m pretentious, totally pretentious. I like to say ‘hmm’, for example Picture Quote #1

If I see a movie star in the department store buying something, I’ll kind of sidle up and see what they’re saying, what they look like, how they sound. That’s an invasion of privacy Picture Quote #1

I figure I wrote 37 songs in 20 years, and that’s not exactly a full-time job. It wasn’t that I was writing and writing and writing and quit Picture Quote #1

Soon we’ll be out amid the cold world’s strife. Soon we’ll be sliding down the razor blade of life. But as we go our sordid sep’rate ways, We shall ne’er forget thee, thou golden college days. Hearts full of youth, Hearts full of truth, Six parts gin to one part vermouth Picture Quote #1

Always predict the worst, and you’ll be hailed as a prophet Picture Quote #1

On my income tax 1040 it says ‘Check this box if you are blind.’ I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away Picture Quote #1

A year from now you'll wish you started today - Work Quotes

Men go shopping to buy what they need. Women go shopping to find out what they want - Funny Quotes

Don’t write naughty words on the wall if you can’t spell! Picture Quote #1

You can make fun with Saddam Hussein jokes ... but you can’t make fun of, say, the concentration camps. I think my target was not so much evil, but benign stupidity people doing stupid things without realising or, instead, thinking they were doing good Picture Quote #1

Don’t solicit for your sister, it’s not nice. Unless you get a good percentage of her price Picture Quote #1

You can’t be satirical and not be offensive to somebody Picture Quote #1

Be prepared, and be careful not to do your good deeds when there’s no one watching you Picture Quote #1

If, after hearing my songs, just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend or, perhaps to strike a loved one, it will all have been worth the while Picture Quote #1

Having you in my life made everything better - Love Quotes

If cats could talk, they wouldn't - Cat Quotes

All books can be indecent books, though recent books are bolder. For filth, I’m glad to say, is in the mind of the beholder. When correctly viewed, everything is lewd. I could tell you things about Peter Pan, And the Wizard of OZ, there’s a dirty old man! Picture Quote #1

Political satire became obsolete when they awarded Henry Kissinger the Nobel Peace Prize Picture Quote #1

I don’t want to satirise George Bush and his puppeteers, I want to vaporise them Picture Quote #1

Everything is so weird in politics that it’s very hard to be funny about it, I think Picture Quote #1

Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel peace prize Picture Quote #1

And although I’m all for freedom of expression and against censorship, there are certain things I’m not willing to go to jail for Picture Quote #1

1 2 3

Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

Text Quotes

Don’t drink the water and don’t breathe the air! (Tom Lehrer Quotes) I loved high school, but I wouldn’t want to do it again (Tom Lehrer Quotes) When you get to fifty-two food becomes more important than sex (Tom Lehrer Quotes) I always prided myself on at least trying to be literate and use the right words, and if the audience didn’t get it, then they could go home and look it up. (Tom Lehrer Quotes) I was immersed in popular songs of the time, of the 30s and 40s. I was writing songs, making fun of the attitudes of those songs, in the musical style of the songs themselves; love songs, folk songs, marches, football. (Tom Lehrer Quotes) Be careful not to do your good deeds when there’s no one watching you (Tom Lehrer Quotes) When I was in college, there were certain words you couldn’t say in front of a girl. Now you can say them, but you can’t say ‘girl.’ (Tom Lehrer Quotes) The people who were in college in the 50s were my first real audience, and their kids, the people who found my records in the cabinet during their ‘Mad ‘magazine years picked me up also. (Tom Lehrer Quotes) I think that if people are having trouble communicating with one another, the least they can do is SHUT UP. (Tom Lehrer Quotes) I do have a cause, though. It is obscenity. I’m for it (Tom Lehrer Quotes) The Army has carried the American ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed and color, but also on ability. (Tom Lehrer Quotes) My last public performance for money was in 1967. For free, it was 1972, with the exception of two little one-shot, one-song things. But thats just for friends, out of friendship for the people involved, and also because it was fun (Tom Lehrer Quotes) I’m very proud of myself on my, whatever the literacy is, I’m pretentious, totally pretentious. I like to say ‘hmm’, for example (Tom Lehrer Quotes) If I see a movie star in the department store buying something, I’ll kind of sidle up and see what they’re saying, what they look like, how they sound. That’s an invasion of privacy (Tom Lehrer Quotes) I figure I wrote 37 songs in 20 years, and that’s not exactly a full-time job. It wasn’t that I was writing and writing and writing and quit (Tom Lehrer Quotes) Soon we’ll be out amid the cold world’s strife. Soon we’ll be sliding down the razor blade of life. But as we go our sordid sep’rate ways, We shall ne’er forget thee, thou golden college days. Hearts full of youth, Hearts full of truth, Six parts gin to one part vermouth (Tom Lehrer Quotes) Always predict the worst, and you’ll be hailed as a prophet (Tom Lehrer Quotes) On my income tax 1040 it says ‘Check this box if you are blind.’ I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away (Tom Lehrer Quotes) Don’t write naughty words on the wall if you can’t spell! (Tom Lehrer Quotes) You can make fun with Saddam Hussein jokes ... but you can’t make fun of, say, the concentration camps. I think my target was not so much evil, but benign stupidity people doing stupid things without realising or, instead, thinking they were doing good. (Tom Lehrer Quotes) Don’t solicit for your sister, it’s not nice. Unless you get a good percentage of her price. (Tom Lehrer Quotes) You can’t be satirical and not be offensive to somebody (Tom Lehrer Quotes) Be prepared, and be careful not to do your good deeds when there’s no one watching you (Tom Lehrer Quotes) If, after hearing my songs, just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend or, perhaps to strike a loved one, it will all have been worth the while. (Tom Lehrer Quotes) All books can be indecent books, though recent books are bolder. For filth, I’m glad to say, is in the mind of the beholder. When correctly viewed, everything is lewd. I could tell you things about Peter Pan, And the Wizard of OZ, there’s a dirty old man! (Tom Lehrer Quotes) Political satire became obsolete when they awarded Henry Kissinger the Nobel Peace Prize (Tom Lehrer Quotes) I don’t want to satirise George Bush and his puppeteers, I want to vaporise them (Tom Lehrer Quotes) Everything is so weird in politics that it’s very hard to be funny about it, I think (Tom Lehrer Quotes) Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel peace prize (Tom Lehrer Quotes) And although I’m all for freedom of expression and against censorship, there are certain things I’m not willing to go to jail for. (Tom Lehrer Quotes)

1 2 3