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Tim Allen Quotes

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results - Albert Einstein Quotes
And then you meet one person and your life changes forever - Love Quotes
Dogs teach us a lot of things but none more important than to love unconditionally - Dog Quotes
A true friend is someone who accepts your past, supports your present and encourages your future - Friend Quotes
When I first saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew - William Shakespeare Quotes
I told you I'll be ready in FIVE minutes, stop calling me every half hour - Funny Quotes
What a beautiful world it would be if people had hearts like dogs - Dog Quotes
You don't need someone to complete you. You only need someone to accept you completely - Love Quotes
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Text Quotes
I think women like Ferraris. A Ferrari is everybody’s car  (Tim Allen Quotes) In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship  (Tim Allen Quotes) Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything  (Tim Allen Quotes) I love doing logos. I’ve been a graphic artist all my life.  (Tim Allen Quotes) I have an only child. She’s so independent and good with adults.  (Tim Allen Quotes) I’m a very bad student, but a great learner  (Tim Allen Quotes) I’m a creative guy, artistically with graphics  (Tim Allen Quotes) For years, I just did not like this idea of God, church  (Tim Allen Quotes) I think women like Ferraris. A Ferrari is everybody’s car.  (Tim Allen Quotes) A car crossed two lanes of traffic, flipped, and landed on my dad’s car. I don’t blame cars. My dad loved cars. I don’t have many memories of my dad. The love of cars is all I have of him, really.  (Tim Allen Quotes) In the last three years of racing I’ve met as many women fans as men fans, and in NASCAR it’s the same thing. My wife loves cars, but the difference is she doesn’t have 20 years of understanding the background of them. She basically drives them and uses her gut feelings as to which is best  (Tim Allen Quotes) I wonder if to stare into the face of God will drive me crazy. (I wonder who would blink first.)  (Tim Allen Quotes) While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously  (Tim Allen Quotes) Men are liars. We’ll lie about lying if we have to. I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.  (Tim Allen Quotes) Dad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and humor and friendship toward his mate so the kids understand their parents are sexy, they’re fun, they do things together, they’re best friends. Kids learn by example. If I respect Mom, they’re going to respect Mom  (Tim Allen Quotes) I was gone so much in my first marriage. I love the moments when I engage with my youngest daughter now. It’s not my thing to sit on the ground and play tea party, but I’ll do it because it’s a moment that will stick with me forever  (Tim Allen Quotes) Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn’t go far didn’t see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded.  (Tim Allen Quotes) Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon  (Tim Allen Quotes) Never comment on a woman’s rear end. Never use the words ‘large’ or ‘size’ with ‘rear end.’ Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me  (Tim Allen Quotes) I’ve gotten so far past the Android and iPhones that I’m back to a flip-phone. It’s funny, you can buy antique flip-phones online. A lot of us collect them. Clearly, they’re considered antiques  (Tim Allen Quotes) The people that hunt are the guys that really vehemently protect the environment. You find that people that live on ranches tend to want to keep it that way, and I’ve always loved that about the hunters that I’ve known. They eat what they kill, and they carry it out. They don’t shoot for sport  (Tim Allen Quotes) Dog’s listen, or appear to listen. I think they hear blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah. They appear to be listening to you.  (Tim Allen Quotes) You don’t know what people are really like until they’re under a lot of stress  (Tim Allen Quotes) I’m actually more of a cat guy than a dog person because I travel so much. I love cats.  (Tim Allen Quotes) A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days  (Tim Allen Quotes) In my experience, it’s all wonderful with girls until about 16. Around that time, boys kind of calm down and start focusing their testosterone. Girls get a little challenging, especially for fathers.  (Tim Allen Quotes) I blend memories. I blend them into one that’s funny. I exaggerate to clarify.  (Tim Allen Quotes) I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that’s a good thing.  (Tim Allen Quotes) Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.  (Tim Allen Quotes) Use a screwdriver instead of a hammer. Try to untighten the nut with your hand. Utilize the path of least resistance first.  (Tim Allen Quotes)
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