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Sloane Crosley Quotes

Chocolate is the answer. Who cares what the question is - Funny Quotes
Don't look back you're not going that way - Inspirational Quotes
Men go shopping to buy what they need. Women go shopping to find out what they want - Funny Quotes
I told you I'll be ready in FIVE minutes, stop calling me every half hour - Funny Quotes
Having you in my life made everything better - Love Quotes
You had me at hello - Love Quotes
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken - Oscar Wilde Quotes
A true friend is someone who accepts your past, supports your present and encourages your future - Friend Quotes
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Text Quotes
I would gladly have accepted a heaping spoonful of nepotism when I got out of college and was looking for a job  (Sloane Crosley Quotes) In every woman’s wardrobe, there are certain accessories that cannot be separated from their back stories  (Sloane Crosley Quotes) Out of all artists, authors are the least trained for the spotlight. Wanting attention isn’t a requisite part of the package  (Sloane Crosley Quotes) Suburbia is too close to the country to have anything real to do and too close to the city to admit you have nothing real to do  (Sloane Crosley Quotes) The world I describe is about how people live now. It’s not about zany people with unlimited, inexplicable funds in an apartment somewhere  (Sloane Crosley Quotes) When you spin a globe and point to a city and actually go to that city, you build an allowance of missed opportunities on the back end  (Sloane Crosley Quotes) Air travel is the safest form of travel aside from walking; even then, the chances of being hit by a public bus at 30,000 feet are remarkably slim. I also have no problem with confined spaces. Or heights. What I am afraid of is speed  (Sloane Crosley Quotes) Cohabitation seems a greater leap in cities because it’s all the harder to extract oneself if things turn sour. It’s what keeps otherwise functional adults living with their mothers  (Sloane Crosley Quotes) I definitely rediscovered reading for pleasure by devoting such a large swath of my time to sitting on airplanes. I am now painfully adept at removing my shoes so as to have the least amount of foot surface area touching an airport floor  (Sloane Crosley Quotes) I don’t really think of my essays as being about myself. I know it sounds insane, but I just don’t think of them as a memoir. They’re essays; they’re not an autobiography  (Sloane Crosley Quotes) I love to bake, so I made vanilla bean and blueberry muffins for sick hospital children. Just kidding! All of that is true except the sick children part  (Sloane Crosley Quotes) I was diagnosed with a severe temporal spatial deficit, a learning disability that means I have zero spatial relations skills. It was official: I was a genius trapped in an idiot’s body  (Sloane Crosley Quotes) My mother is a special education teacher but also an artist, and my father an advertising executive. They are about as wacky as you can get without being alcoholics  (Sloane Crosley Quotes) The hardest thing is spending twelve hours a day accommodating the rest of the world, then going home at night and criticizing it. I would be curious about what I’d write if I didn’t have to worry about offending  (Sloane Crosley Quotes) The year most of my high school friends and I got our driver’s permits, the coolest thing one could do was stand outside after school and twirl one’s car keys like a lifeguard whistle. That jingling sound meant freedom and power  (Sloane Crosley Quotes) Life starts out with everyone clapping when you take a poo and goes downhill from there  (Sloane Crosley Quotes) I got out on the street and started crying the kind of hysterical tears made justifiable only by turning off one’s cell phone, putting it to the ear, and pretending to be told of a death in the family  (Sloane Crosley Quotes) What annoyed me was that I so often attempted to weasel out of things on purpose, it killed me to do it by accident. It seemed like a waste of whatever detailed lie I was going to have to come up with  (Sloane Crosley Quotes) And there’s something about having an especially different name that makes it difficult to imagine what you would be like as a Jennifer  (Sloane Crosley Quotes) Most people don’t get lucky. They get human. They get crushes. This means you irrationally mortgage what little logic you own to pay for this one thing. This relationship is an impulse buy, and you’ll figure out if it’s worth it later  (Sloane Crosley Quotes) Time grabs you by the scruff of your neck and drags you forward. You get over it, of course. Everyone was right about that. One mathematically insignificant day, you stop hoping for happiness and become actually happy  (Sloane Crosley Quotes) I spent a lot of time waiting for things to happen to me, which is more or less as pathetic as it sounds  (Sloane Crosley Quotes) The truth is, I wrote a novel when I was 23. It’s hideously bad. Truly rotten  (Sloane Crosley Quotes) For a long time I wanted to draw, but I could never get the proportions right. My still life sketches were the artistic equivalent of someone who has misjudged the space constraints of a postcard, the handwriting shrinking uncomfortably at the bottom  (Sloane Crosley Quotes) For the average person, taken to their sick bed, it takes a serious bout of pneumonia or a full body cast to completely forget the life they had prior to falling off the rollercoaster. I, however, will do this over a paper cut on my thumb, obsessing of said cut and being generally consumed by it  (Sloane Crosley Quotes) I can say with a solid degree of authority that I am a selfish person. I spontaneously forget the names of more people than not, unless I want to make out with them. I will take the last square of toilet paper off the roll without thinking twice. I tip taxi drivers so poorly I’m amazed none of them have run over my foot while speeding off  (Sloane Crosley Quotes) I think the goal with any writing, but especially narrative nonfiction, is to put the blockade of putting your thoughts in this unnatural medium of print and then trying to reach through that and actually convey what’s going on, what you think, and make people laugh and recognize themselves while doing it. Definitely the laughing thing  (Sloane Crosley Quotes) Like most citizens of popular and international urban centres, I don’t take advantage of the cultural opportunities. Perhaps this comes from growing up in suburbia. Home is where you eat, sleep, read, watch television and ignore your parents. It is not where you go to the ballet and then attend a heated panel discussion about it afterwards  (Sloane Crosley Quotes) We’ve come to expect so little from online privacy measures that public displays of concern about the matter are more or less for show. Being devastated to discover you’ve been tagged in somebody else’s photo has an air of the melodramatic about it at this point  (Sloane Crosley Quotes) You feel like telling him you’re not single in the way that he thinks you’re single. After all, you have yourself. I think a lot of humor is about distracting yourself. Pretend you’re not trying to make it funny. Because for some reason the effort to be funny smells like sulphur in our culture  (Sloane Crosley Quotes)
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