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Sam Kinison Quotes

I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work - Fail Quotes
Money may not buy happiness, but it's better to cry in a Lamborghini - Funny Quotes
I like me a little bit more when i'm with you - Love Quotes
You don't need someone to complete you. You only need someone to accept you completely - Love Quotes
The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary - Work Quotes
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results - Albert Einstein Quotes
Men go shopping to buy what they need. Women go shopping to find out what they want - Funny Quotes
The darkest nights produce the brightest stars - Motivational Quotes
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Text Quotes
I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.  (Sam Kinison Quotes) I’m attracted to heartbreakers  (Sam Kinison Quotes) I’d rather entertain people than offend them  (Sam Kinison Quotes) There’s no happy ending to cocaine. You either die, you go to jail, or else you run out.  (Sam Kinison Quotes) Rock Against Drugs, what a name. Somebody was high when they came up with that title. It’s like Christians Against Christ. Rock created drugs  (Sam Kinison Quotes) With any other celebrity, people come up and say, ‘Hey, I really like your work.’ But with my fans, when they see me, they don’t even say hello. They just go, ‘AWWWWWGHGHHHGHGHRRR!’  (Sam Kinison Quotes) If I’ve learned one thing, it’s ‘don’t tell the truth.’ Lies keep you together  (Sam Kinison Quotes) It occurred to me that there wouldn’t be world hunger, if you people would MOVE WHERE THE FOOD IS!!!  (Sam Kinison Quotes) My view of life is, ‘If you’re going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!  (Sam Kinison Quotes) I’m responsible. I even did a commercial for MTV saying how I was going to register to vote. And I still haven’t  (Sam Kinison Quotes) Jesus had a tough life. I read about that guy. Jesus is the only guy that ever came back from the dead that didn’t scare the F- out of everybody!  (Sam Kinison Quotes) Not that I want to put the entire rap music style down - I just don’t like it. And I know somewhere there’s gotta be another guy like that. There’s gotta be a guy just like that - just like me. There’s gotta be somebody, somewhere... Maybe, maybe an assassin type  (Sam Kinison Quotes) So many of these comics are just frustrated singers or actors - they want to get a gig doing a sitcom. It’s paint-by-the-numbers comedy, lame joke-telling. They’re drawn to it as a career move  (Sam Kinison Quotes) I guess my main influences are Jesus, rock n roll and ex-wives. In that order  (Sam Kinison Quotes) Ive never been against women. That anti-feminist rap is bogus. I think men should be nice to women, buy them diamonds  (Sam Kinison Quotes) In the 1990s, it’s OK to do comedy about the Chernobyl disaster or the Space Shuttle blowing up. It’s acceptable to ridicule the Pope or the President of the United States, but God forbid you do a joke... about gays. The gay community is the last sacred cow in this society  (Sam Kinison Quotes) Anyone can go out on stage and start beating people over the head with rubber chickens. That’ll get people’s attention.  (Sam Kinison Quotes) I look for women I know are gonna bust me up good. Come on, man, who can resist that? Who can resist that emotional pain? Yeah, they all have the same line, they’re so sweet: I’m not gonna hurt you like all the others. Really I’m not. I’m gonna introduce you to a whole new level of pain!  (Sam Kinison Quotes) You know what the problem is with world hunger? We’ve been sending them food.  (Sam Kinison Quotes) I started saying things in church that didn’t meet with a lot of approval - like ‘Jesus isn’t coming back.’ They started throwing Bibles  (Sam Kinison Quotes) It was great to be the rock comic, the shock comic. But after you’ve played Giants Stadium with Bon Jovi in front of 82,000 people, after you’ve done the ‘Wild Thing’ video with Jessica Hahn and every rock band from hell, you’re not gonna top that  (Sam Kinison Quotes) Jim Bakker. He’s lost everything, he’s ruined. And the worst thing of all he still has to wake up to her!  (Sam Kinison Quotes) So many people counted on me to be the party, I had to move far enough away that they wouldn’t want to drive there.  (Sam Kinison Quotes) There’s no happy ending to cocaine. You either die, you go to jail, or else you run out  (Sam Kinison Quotes) I have lived a carnal life  (Sam Kinison Quotes) When has stand-up comedy been kind to anyone? It goes after anyone who’s the target. Comedy attacks, man  (Sam Kinison Quotes) Everything can be satirized  (Sam Kinison Quotes) I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years  (Sam Kinison Quotes) Folks, I’ve been straight for seventeen days... Not all in a row  (Sam Kinison Quotes) What happened? Satan was busy?  (Sam Kinison Quotes)
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