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Norm MacDonald Quotes

If cats could talk, they wouldn't - Cat Quotes
You don't need someone to complete you. You only need someone to accept you completely - Love Quotes
Money may not buy happiness, but it's better to cry in a Lamborghini - Funny Quotes
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken - Oscar Wilde Quotes
Having you in my life made everything better - Love Quotes
A year from now you'll wish you started today - Work Quotes
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just to be sure - Funny Quotes
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why - Mark Twain Quotes
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Text Quotes
Education makes some men wiser, others more ridiculous and foolish  (Norm MacDonald Quotes) I love writing - it’s the best. But I really hate collaboration  (Norm MacDonald Quotes) RIP Amy Winehouse. We lost a true heroin addict today  (Norm MacDonald Quotes) You can’t love your team without hating another team  (Norm MacDonald Quotes) Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there’s always beer  (Norm MacDonald Quotes) Few criminals die sensible of their crimes  (Norm MacDonald Quotes) If you cannot patiently bear correction, endeavor to avoid fault  (Norm MacDonald Quotes) Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form  (Norm MacDonald Quotes) Flattery succeeds best on minds previously occupied by conceit  (Norm MacDonald Quotes) Were there no fools, there would be no flatterers  (Norm MacDonald Quotes) It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct  (Norm MacDonald Quotes) Jealousy seldom punishes with the severity it suffers  (Norm MacDonald Quotes) It is better to be idle than employed in ill  (Norm MacDonald Quotes) Liberty, like health, appears most precious when lost  (Norm MacDonald Quotes) In love, we are best pleased when we please others  (Norm MacDonald Quotes) In love, first please the eye, then win the heart  (Norm MacDonald Quotes) Few people love with the violence they hate  (Norm MacDonald Quotes) If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it  (Norm MacDonald Quotes) Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices  (Norm MacDonald Quotes) Reason is always weak where prejudice is strong  (Norm MacDonald Quotes) It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated  (Norm MacDonald Quotes) I like to do talk show appearances where I get to just be myself, and I do stand-up where I can completely be myself. That’s what I’ve always loved the most, of anything  (Norm MacDonald Quotes) Your worst and most dangerous enemy is the person that injures you under the pretensions of friendship  (Norm MacDonald Quotes) I sort of try to write everything for me. I’m a huge sports fan but have no interest in minutiae. I don’t remember who won Super Bowls five years ago or listen to sports talk radio. I’m trying to make sure the jokes are self-contained so they’re accessible to everyone  (Norm MacDonald Quotes) I would love to stay at SNL forever. But you can’t stay in the same place. People think you’re a loser  (Norm MacDonald Quotes) I have always loved Las Vegas. It’s a traditional place for lounge comics to perform, and I love that  (Norm MacDonald Quotes) I’m a huge sports fan but have no interest in minutiae. I don’t remember who won Super Bowls five years ago or listen to sports talk radio  (Norm MacDonald Quotes) When I was a kid, everybody that played golf was an old man. Until Tiger showed up, they weren’t in very good shape  (Norm MacDonald Quotes) I don’t have any ego about it, but I find there’s not a great work ethic in show business. A lot of people are in it to make money, and coming from stand-up, you have to work so hard because almost nothing works, and if you lose the audience for three minutes, you’re dead  (Norm MacDonald Quotes) I started on ‘Saturday Night Live’ the same time Conan started on Late Night. We just had a relationship because I would be upstairs in the studio and whenever he couldn’t get a guest - which was often back then since he was just starting out - he would just call me down to be a guest  (Norm MacDonald Quotes)
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