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Nick Offerman Quotes

Don’t use barbiturates before going on stage. And be honest Picture Quote #1

For years I drove a big Ford F250 pickup. That was my ride because two-thirds of my work was wood work, and I’m always driving up to Northern California, where I harvest salvaged trees Picture Quote #1

I’m obsessed with the Victorian era and the British Royal Navy... I’d love to play a troubled sailor or captain or a boatman on a three masted ship Picture Quote #1

I have a very healthy growth of both head and facial hair. People always want to attribute further superhuman powers to me. It’s funny the way the audience really seems to want me, Nick the actor, to exhibit the same machismo as Ron Swanson Picture Quote #1

We’re cognizant, curious beings, capable of philosophical thought, nuclear physics, repeating Nerf weapons, global consciousness, Glade air fresheners, and sentient automobiles. But we’re assholes first Picture Quote #1

Meat is a big deal in my life. I do love breakfast food, but I don’t think that’s extraordinary. I’m a normal American. We love eggs and meat and potatoes and gravy Picture Quote #1

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You know, even working actors can end up having a lot of spare time. And you can either go sit at the Starbucks and wait for your agent to call you, or you can go learn how to build a Shaker blanket chest with hand-cut dovetails Picture Quote #1

If you like comedy, go home and curl up with Leviticus. The writers of The Onion are handed Leviticus on their first day Picture Quote #1

My family has schoolteachers and librarians, and I think people who teach are probably some of our greatest American heroes. Certainly, underpaid and unsung Picture Quote #1

I really thought that I’d be doing Shakespeare, honest to God. I did not foresee the whole action television thing. That was God’s joke Picture Quote #1

I have a Kenwood charcoal grill. In our house, if anybody is cooking, it’s me. I love making burgers. I love making pork tenderloin. Lamb chops I do on the grill a lot. But you just can’t beat brats Picture Quote #1

I am always so happy to be at ‘SNL.’ I still feel like a kid when I’m there, like I can’t believe I’m watching them make the show Picture Quote #1

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When I got my job on ‘Parks,’ it was so dreamy, kind of unfathomable. I didn’t think a job that excellent could exist for me Picture Quote #1

I grew up in a small town in Illinois, and my dad was a basketball coach. Thanks to him, I have excellent fundamentals in both basketball and baseball Picture Quote #1

I think that laziness in many ways is the human condition, and that’s what has led us to this place where, as we’ve developed technology Picture Quote #1

Jobs that require a suit upset me. They displease me much, as our world is rife with such superficial conformity Picture Quote #1

You know, it’s hard to beat bacon at anytime of day. But I also am a big fan of corned beef hash Picture Quote #1

Love one another, make something with your hands, and exalt the farmer Picture Quote #1

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The ultimate disguise is nothing. Nudity Picture Quote #1

My uncles, who are farmers in Minooka, Illinois - I grew up with them and their pickup trucks and mustaches, and to me that was masculinity: big hairy sweaty guys who could pick up a bus Picture Quote #1

If properly dried and trimmed, New York-style pizza could be used to make a box for Chicago-style pizza Picture Quote #1

If you want to be happy in life, consider yourself a student. Every day of your life, think: how can I improve? Picture Quote #1

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don’t teach a man to fish and you feed yourself. He’s a grown man, fishing’s not that hard Picture Quote #1

I’ve learned through experience that to trouble celebrities with my handshake doesn’t do anybody any good Picture Quote #1

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I come from a family of fishermen. Fishing is very important to us. We don’t hunt. We’re not gun folk Picture Quote #1

When it comes to marijuana, I think it’s ridiculous to live in a country that espouses freedom, liberty and equality, yet won’t follow through on a philosophy that says: If it’s not hurting anybody or their property, you can do any goddamn thing you want Picture Quote #1

My career is inexplicable to me. So far I’ve just been not getting fired despite being myself Picture Quote #1

You know, it’s hard to beat bacon at anytime of day. But I also am a big fan of corned beef hash Picture Quote #1

Shut your damn mouth Picture Quote #1

I don’t put a great deal of stock in art trophies Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

Don’t use barbiturates before going on stage. And be honest. (Nick Offerman Quotes) For years I drove a big Ford F250 pickup. That was my ride because two-thirds of my work was wood work, and I’m always driving up to Northern California, where I harvest salvaged trees (Nick Offerman Quotes) I’m obsessed with the Victorian era and the British Royal Navy... I’d love to play a troubled sailor or captain or a boatman on a three masted ship (Nick Offerman Quotes) I have a very healthy growth of both head and facial hair. People always want to attribute further superhuman powers to me. It’s funny the way the audience really seems to want me, Nick the actor, to exhibit the same machismo as Ron Swanson (Nick Offerman Quotes) We’re cognizant, curious beings, capable of philosophical thought, nuclear physics, repeating Nerf weapons, global consciousness, Glade air fresheners, and sentient automobiles. But we’re assholes first (Nick Offerman Quotes) Meat is a big deal in my life. I do love breakfast food, but I don’t think that’s extraordinary. I’m a normal American. We love eggs and meat and potatoes and gravy (Nick Offerman Quotes) You know, even working actors can end up having a lot of spare time. And you can either go sit at the Starbucks and wait for your agent to call you, or you can go learn how to build a Shaker blanket chest with hand-cut dovetails (Nick Offerman Quotes) If you like comedy, go home and curl up with Leviticus. The writers of The Onion are handed Leviticus on their first day (Nick Offerman Quotes) My family has schoolteachers and librarians, and I think people who teach are probably some of our greatest American heroes. Certainly, underpaid and unsung (Nick Offerman Quotes) I really thought that I’d be doing Shakespeare, honest to God. I did not foresee the whole action television thing. That was God’s joke (Nick Offerman Quotes) I have a Kenwood charcoal grill. In our house, if anybody is cooking, it’s me. I love making burgers. I love making pork tenderloin. Lamb chops I do on the grill a lot. But you just can’t beat brats (Nick Offerman Quotes) I am always so happy to be at ‘SNL.’ I still feel like a kid when I’m there, like I can’t believe I’m watching them make the show. (Nick Offerman Quotes) When I got my job on ‘Parks,’ it was so dreamy, kind of unfathomable. I didn’t think a job that excellent could exist for me (Nick Offerman Quotes) I grew up in a small town in Illinois, and my dad was a basketball coach. Thanks to him, I have excellent fundamentals in both basketball and baseball (Nick Offerman Quotes) I think that laziness in many ways is the human condition, and that’s what has led us to this place where, as we’ve developed technology (Nick Offerman Quotes) Jobs that require a suit upset me. They displease me much, as our world is rife with such superficial conformity (Nick Offerman Quotes) You know, it’s hard to beat bacon at anytime of day. But I also am a big fan of corned beef hash (Nick Offerman Quotes) Love one another, make something with your hands, and exalt the farmer (Nick Offerman Quotes) The ultimate disguise is nothing. Nudity (Nick Offerman Quotes) My uncles, who are farmers in Minooka, Illinois - I grew up with them and their pickup trucks and mustaches, and to me that was masculinity: big hairy sweaty guys who could pick up a bus. (Nick Offerman Quotes) If properly dried and trimmed, New York-style pizza could be used to make a box for Chicago-style pizza. (Nick Offerman Quotes) If you want to be happy in life, consider yourself a student. Every day of your life, think: how can I improve? (Nick Offerman Quotes) Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don’t teach a man to fish and you feed yourself. He’s a grown man, fishing’s not that hard. (Nick Offerman Quotes) I’ve learned through experience that to trouble celebrities with my handshake doesn’t do anybody any good. (Nick Offerman Quotes) I come from a family of fishermen. Fishing is very important to us. We don’t hunt. We’re not gun folk. (Nick Offerman Quotes) When it comes to marijuana, I think it’s ridiculous to live in a country that espouses freedom, liberty and equality, yet won’t follow through on a philosophy that says: If it’s not hurting anybody or their property, you can do any goddamn thing you want. (Nick Offerman Quotes) My career is inexplicable to me. So far I’ve just been not getting fired despite being myself. (Nick Offerman Quotes) You know, it’s hard to beat bacon at anytime of day. But I also am a big fan of corned beef hash. (Nick Offerman Quotes) Shut your damn mouth (Nick Offerman Quotes) I don’t put a great deal of stock in art trophies (Nick Offerman Quotes)

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