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Neil Simon Quotes

You don't need someone to complete you. You only need someone to accept you completely - Love Quotes
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just to be sure - Funny Quotes
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work - Fail Quotes
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why - Mark Twain Quotes
I like me a little bit more when i'm with you - Love Quotes
I told you I'll be ready in FIVE minutes, stop calling me every half hour - Funny Quotes
Money may not buy happiness, but it's better to cry in a Lamborghini - Funny Quotes
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results - Albert Einstein Quotes
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Text Quotes
Never underestimate the stimulation of eccentricity  (Neil Simon Quotes) Give your mind a chance to travel through foreign languages  (Neil Simon Quotes) Evan Handler’s new book is simply wonderful. He pulls you inside his life, and you come out his very close friend  (Neil Simon Quotes) Sudden money is going from zero to two hundred dollars a week. The rest doesn’t count.  (Neil Simon Quotes) Writing is an escape from a world that crowds me. I like being alone in a room. It’s almost a form of meditation- an investigation of my own life  (Neil Simon Quotes) I love living. I have some problems with my life, but living is the best thing they’ve come up with so far.  (Neil Simon Quotes) I got brown sandwiches and green sandwiches. Its either very new cheese or very old meat. - Oscar Madison, from The Odd Couple  (Neil Simon Quotes) I never write a play with an eye to film  (Neil Simon Quotes) I understand. You work very hard two days a week and you need a five-day weekend. That’s normal  (Neil Simon Quotes) Don’t listen to those who say, you taking too big a chance. Michelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor, and it would surely be rubbed out by today  (Neil Simon Quotes) When its 100 degrees in New York, it’s 72 in Los Angeles. When its 30 degrees in New York, in Los Angeles it’s still 72. However, there are 6 million interesting people in New York, and only 72 in Los Angeles  (Neil Simon Quotes) People with honorary awards are looked upon with disfavor. Would you let an honorary mechanic fix your brand-new Mercedes?  (Neil Simon Quotes) It looks different when you’re sober; I thought I had twice as much furniture  (Neil Simon Quotes) Talent is the gift plus the passion - a desire to succeed so intense that no force on earth can stop it.  (Neil Simon Quotes) How long do you want to wait until you start enjoying life? When you’re sixty-five you get social security.  (Neil Simon Quotes) I don’t like dating or just living with a woman. I like to create a relationship, a marriage. And almost all of my marriages have involved children, so I’m really a family man as well.  (Neil Simon Quotes) Standing on a ledge again. Everyone laughs at dancing monkey with the typewriter. Not for long, though.  (Neil Simon Quotes) Gee, what a terrific party. Later on we’ll get some fluid and embalm each other.  (Neil Simon Quotes) Take care of him. And make him feel important. And if you can do that, you’ll have a happy and wonderful marriage. Like two out of every ten couples.  (Neil Simon Quotes) Money brings some happiness. But after a certain point, it just brings more money  (Neil Simon Quotes) Once you’ve opened yourself up, it’s best to go all the way  (Neil Simon Quotes) I firmly believe that if you follow a path that interests you, not to the exclusion of love, sensitivity, and cooperation with others, but with the strength of conviction that you can move others by your own efforts, and do not make success or failure the criteria by which you live, the chances are you’ll be a person worthy of your own respects  (Neil Simon Quotes) Once you start compromising your thoughts, you’re a candidate for mediocrity  (Neil Simon Quotes) I was constantly being dragged out of movies for laughing too loud  (Neil Simon Quotes) If you can go through life without experiencing pain you probably haven’t been born yet  (Neil Simon Quotes) I much prefer writing an original movie with the screen in mind to transferring a play to the screen  (Neil Simon Quotes) I have been working up until recently with Neil Simon, who has been adapting the character to me  (Neil Simon Quotes) Sports is the only entertainment where, no matter how many times you go back, you never know the ending  (Neil Simon Quotes) It’s always painful when you’re writing memoirs because you’ve got to go through the dark places, but it gives you a chance to find out the person you really are, not the person you thought you were  (Neil Simon Quotes) I don’t like writing for comedians. I like writing for actors. The best comedians are the best actors  (Neil Simon Quotes)
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