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Milton Berle Quotes
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Friendship Quotes
Love Quotes
Life Quotes
Funny Quotes
Motivational Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
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Text Quotes
For every student with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble (Milton Berle Quotes)
It was a tough school. The kids on the debating team took steroids! (Milton Berle Quotes)
I bought my son a bat for Christmas. On New Year's it flew away (Milton Berle Quotes)
It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now! (Milton Berle Quotes)
A thing of beauty is a job forever (Milton Berle Quotes)
For Christmas the just came out with a battery-operated battery. But the batteries aren't included (Milton Berle Quotes)
Valentine's Day is the day when you remember that Cupid was a lousy shot (Milton Berle Quotes)
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong (Milton Berle Quotes)
She was nice to him on Valentine's Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash (Milton Berle Quotes)
On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse (Milton Berle Quotes)
Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings? (Milton Berle Quotes)
Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient (Milton Berle Quotes)
Laughter is the best medicine in the world (Milton Berle Quotes)
I live to laugh, and I laugh to live (Milton Berle Quotes)
At eighty-two, I feel like a twenty-year-old, but, unfortunately, there's never one around (Milton Berle Quotes)
All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express (Milton Berle Quotes)
He was such a bad writer, they revoked his poetic license (Milton Berle Quotes)
You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think (Milton Berle Quotes)
Folk who don't know why America is the land of promise should be here during an election campaign (Milton Berle Quotes)
Our local department store had two Santas - one for regular kids and one for kids who wanted ten toys or less (Milton Berle Quotes)
This man's wife told him, "For Christmas, surprise me." On Christmas Eve he leaned over where she was sleeping and said, "Boo!" (Milton Berle Quotes)
This is how it is today: The teachers are afraid of the principals. The principals are afraid of the superintendents. The superintendents are afraid of the board of education. The board is afraid of the parents. The parents are afraid of the children. The children are afraid of nothing! (Milton Berle Quotes)
Money can’t buy you happiness. It just helps you look for it in more places (Milton Berle Quotes)
If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door, but only as long as it’s not visible from the street (Milton Berle Quotes)
My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don’t try to run her life, and I don’t try to run mine (Milton Berle Quotes)
The choreographer for the Milton Berle show wanted me to audition. I walked away from that (Milton Berle Quotes)
Nowadays, when a speaker tells the graduates that the future is theirs - is that a promise or a threat? (Milton Berle Quotes)
The human brain is special. It starts working as soon as you get up and it doesn't stop until you get to school (Milton Berle Quotes)
When I was in school, one of my teachers was crazy about me. I once heard her tell another teacher, "I wish he was my kid for one day!" (Milton Berle Quotes)
We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight (Milton Berle Quotes)