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Michael Ian Black Quotes

The global business climate is likewhatever, dude Picture Quote #1

I think people hate me pretty much across the board, which is nice Picture Quote #1

I think people just love to win Picture Quote #1

Lordy, lordy, lordy do I love money. It is a character flaw, no doubt, one that springs from a panicked childhood in which I always felt as if our family was only a couple missed child support payments from being tossed onto the pitiless streets of our suburban New Jersey town Picture Quote #1

My absolute favorite growing up was Super Friends. The assemblage of so many mighty heroes in one place was, to me, mind-blowing. It was Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, the Flash, Aquaman, and then sometimes Hawkman and some other, lesser heroes Picture Quote #1

I can be a snarky Asshole, or I can be sort of mentally impaired. It’s very hard for me to just be normal human being Picture Quote #1

I don’t really read children’s books or deal with children’s books, so I don’t have any relationship with them other than my own Picture Quote #1

Best strategy for a first date is to ask her questions. Just keeping asking her questions about herself. Her life, her job, her friends, her taste in movies and music and everything. People mostly just want to talk about themselves, so let her do that Picture Quote #1

I am not a music snob. If anything, my musical taste is bad by any critical standards Picture Quote #1

Your harshest critic is always going to be yourself. Don’t ignore that critic but don’t give it more attention than it deserves Picture Quote #1

I am a poker player, but I am not a good poker player. My favorite game is seven card stud, but I’ll play hi/lo, Hold ‘em, Razz, etc Picture Quote #1

Well, I think my stand-up is often kind of visual. Not like Carrot Top visual, but visual Picture Quote #1

If I revise a children’s book, if I’m spending three hours on the first draft, I’m probably spending 30 minutes revising it. I mean, come on! But to redo a painting? That’s hard work Picture Quote #1

I don’t watch that much comedy. I think it’s professional jealousy. That and a lack of support for my community Picture Quote #1

The Atkins’ diet is where you eat bacon for six or seven months...and the end result is that you lose weight. Because you’re dead Picture Quote #1

Separation is the worst. There’s no good way to deal with it, other than to get on the phone and do Skype and try to visit Picture Quote #1

I actually don’t know anyone who wants to be famous for fame’s sake, at least not anyone I respect. But you need to have a certain amount of power in order to be able to do what you want Picture Quote #1

Wish I could, through my own financial prestidigitation, transform a dollar bill into two, or two million. It is an awesome and mysterious skill Picture Quote #1

There is no word for feeling nostalgic about the future, but that’s what a parent’s tears often are, a nostalgia for something that has not yet occurred. They are the pain of hope, the helplessness of hope, and finally, the surrender to hope Picture Quote #1

You have to lead, in the case of a game show, a contestant through the architecture of the show. So there’s a lot of rules there, literal and implied, that you have to navigate Picture Quote #1

Hosting a show, even a talk show or a game show, there’s so much business you have to conduct. There’s so much guiding you have to do Picture Quote #1

I hope you die.... P.S. If you do die, I’m going to go to the funeral and finger your corpse Picture Quote #1

I have a good family and I like to be home with them. The older I get, the lazier I get, and the more content I am to sit at home and eat string cheese Picture Quote #1

I thought I’d be living a much more bohemian life and be very poor. I never thought I’d do comedy or be married living in the suburbs. Every time I try to plan my life out it just doesn’t come to pass, and I think that’s a great experience Picture Quote #1

I take my coffee the same way I take my women: Strong, black, and proud Picture Quote #1

Shuffling really isn’t something you should be doing on your deathbed Picture Quote #1

It’s such a deliberate thing to sit down and write a tweet. You’re putting yourself out there in a very deliberate way, and over however many tweets, you start to create a character for yourself Picture Quote #1

I hope you die... P.S. If you do die, I’m going to go to the funeral and finger your corpse Picture Quote #1

The thing that I think is the most important is taking moments to express your appreciation to your partner. A thank you or a quick kiss can go a long way toward affirming your relationship and commitment to each other. That’s not hard to do even when you’re juggling insane careers and three kids Picture Quote #1

I don’t watch that much comedy. I think it’s professional jealousy. That and a lack of support for my community Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

Text Quotes

The global business climate is likewhatever, dude (Michael Ian Black Quotes) I think people hate me pretty much across the board, which is nice (Michael Ian Black Quotes) I think people just love to win (Michael Ian Black Quotes) Lordy, lordy, lordy do I love money. It is a character flaw, no doubt, one that springs from a panicked childhood in which I always felt as if our family was only a couple missed child support payments from being tossed onto the pitiless streets of our suburban New Jersey town (Michael Ian Black Quotes) My absolute favorite growing up was Super Friends. The assemblage of so many mighty heroes in one place was, to me, mind-blowing. It was Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, the Flash, Aquaman, and then sometimes Hawkman and some other, lesser heroes (Michael Ian Black Quotes) I can be a snarky Asshole, or I can be sort of mentally impaired. It’s very hard for me to just be normal human being (Michael Ian Black Quotes) I don’t really read children’s books or deal with children’s books, so I don’t have any relationship with them other than my own. (Michael Ian Black Quotes) Best strategy for a first date is to ask her questions. Just keeping asking her questions about herself. Her life, her job, her friends, her taste in movies and music and everything. People mostly just want to talk about themselves, so let her do that. (Michael Ian Black Quotes) I am not a music snob. If anything, my musical taste is bad by any critical standards. (Michael Ian Black Quotes) Your harshest critic is always going to be yourself. Don’t ignore that critic but don’t give it more attention than it deserves. (Michael Ian Black Quotes) I am a poker player, but I am not a good poker player. My favorite game is seven card stud, but I’ll play hi/lo, Hold ‘em, Razz, etc. (Michael Ian Black Quotes) Well, I think my stand-up is often kind of visual. Not like Carrot Top visual, but visual. (Michael Ian Black Quotes) If I revise a children’s book, if I’m spending three hours on the first draft, I’m probably spending 30 minutes revising it. I mean, come on! But to redo a painting? That’s hard work. (Michael Ian Black Quotes) I don’t watch that much comedy. I think it’s professional jealousy. That and a lack of support for my community. (Michael Ian Black Quotes) The Atkins’ diet is where you eat bacon for six or seven months...and the end result is that you lose weight. Because you’re dead. (Michael Ian Black Quotes) Separation is the worst. There’s no good way to deal with it, other than to get on the phone and do Skype and try to visit. (Michael Ian Black Quotes) I actually don’t know anyone who wants to be famous for fame’s sake, at least not anyone I respect. But you need to have a certain amount of power in order to be able to do what you want. (Michael Ian Black Quotes) Wish I could, through my own financial prestidigitation, transform a dollar bill into two, or two million. It is an awesome and mysterious skill. (Michael Ian Black Quotes) There is no word for feeling nostalgic about the future, but that’s what a parent’s tears often are, a nostalgia for something that has not yet occurred. They are the pain of hope, the helplessness of hope, and finally, the surrender to hope. (Michael Ian Black Quotes) You have to lead, in the case of a game show, a contestant through the architecture of the show. So there’s a lot of rules there, literal and implied, that you have to navigate. (Michael Ian Black Quotes) Hosting a show, even a talk show or a game show, there’s so much business you have to conduct. There’s so much guiding you have to do. (Michael Ian Black Quotes) I hope you die.... P.S. If you do die, I’m going to go to the funeral and finger your corpse. (Michael Ian Black Quotes) I have a good family and I like to be home with them. The older I get, the lazier I get, and the more content I am to sit at home and eat string cheese. (Michael Ian Black Quotes) I thought I’d be living a much more bohemian life and be very poor. I never thought I’d do comedy or be married living in the suburbs. Every time I try to plan my life out it just doesn’t come to pass, and I think that’s a great experience. (Michael Ian Black Quotes) I take my coffee the same way I take my women: Strong, black, and proud (Michael Ian Black Quotes) Shuffling really isn’t something you should be doing on your deathbed (Michael Ian Black Quotes) It’s such a deliberate thing to sit down and write a tweet. You’re putting yourself out there in a very deliberate way, and over however many tweets, you start to create a character for yourself (Michael Ian Black Quotes) I hope you die... P.S. If you do die, I’m going to go to the funeral and finger your corpse (Michael Ian Black Quotes) The thing that I think is the most important is taking moments to express your appreciation to your partner. A thank you or a quick kiss can go a long way toward affirming your relationship and commitment to each other. That’s not hard to do even when you’re juggling insane careers and three kids (Michael Ian Black Quotes) I don’t watch that much comedy. I think it’s professional jealousy. That and a lack of support for my community (Michael Ian Black Quotes)

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