HOME POPULAR Love Life Inspiration Motivation Funny Friendship Family Faith Happy Hurt Sad Cute Success Wisdom ALL TOPICS Animals Art Attitude Beauty Business Birthdays Dreams Facts Fitness Food Forgiving Miss You Nature Peace Smile So True Sports Teenage Trust Movie TV Weddings More.. AUTHORS Einstein Plato Aristotle Twain Monroe Jefferson Wilde Carroll Confucius Hepburn Dalai Lama Lewis Lincoln Mandela Lao Tzu Ford More.. Meme Maker University Memes
Follow On Pinterest
Advertisements

Julie Klausner Quotes

I meant to behave but there were too many other options
Advertisements
I told you I'll be ready in FIVE minutes, stop calling me every half hour
A girl doesn't need anyone who doesn't need her
Advertisements
Don't look back you're not going that way
You don't need someone to complete you. You only need someone to accept you completely
Advertisements
And then you meet one person and your life changes forever
The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary
Advertisements
Together is my favorite place to be
Friendship Quotes Love Quotes Life Quotes Funny Quotes Motivational Quotes Inspirational Quotes
Advertisements
Text Quotes
As far as my memory being reliable, at the risk of sounding like some sort of gorgeous two-headed monster with the voices of Dave Barry and Erma Bombeck, I do think that women, like elephants, remember everything and love peanuts.  (Julie Klausner Quotes) You have to tell guys to ask you on a date. Smile when you do it - however that works, I’m not ‘Cosmo.’ But yeah - not a lot of people know how to ‘court’ anymore, sorry.  (Julie Klausner Quotes) Every once in awhile you get encouragement, or you get something that isn’t competitive or guilt-inducing from your peers, and it just turns a little light on. It makes it so the work that you do isn’t isolating and horrible. There are people who make your life and your work better, and that’s something I’m incredibly grateful for.  (Julie Klausner Quotes) Here is how you meet women: You tell the girls you are friends with - the ones in relationships - that you want a girlfriend. You shouldn’t even have to say ‘Set me up’ or ‘Introduce me!’ If they’re good girls, they’ll get the hint.  (Julie Klausner Quotes) Why can’t science work on making women more entitled in general? Or at least get us to listen to those L’Oreal ads that tell us how we’re worth it?  (Julie Klausner Quotes) I would love to interview Michael McKean and his wife, who wrote the songs for ‘A Mighty Wind,’ which is my favorite Christopher Guest movie. I’m just a sucker for any funny guy that has a wife who is intelligent and that he collaborates with.  (Julie Klausner Quotes) Frances McDormand is my favorite actor. I don’t know if that’s relevant. But she’s a person who plays people. In other words, not everything has to be an over-the-top Broadway musical to get my attention, but it certainly helps.  (Julie Klausner Quotes) I didn’t write my book, ‘I Don’t Care About Your Band,’ in order to give women a brand-new set of dating rules they need to feel terrible about not abiding. I wrote my book to make the women who read it feel good about themselves, and a little more entitled to be treated well by the guys they go out with.  (Julie Klausner Quotes) I really love ‘Real Housewives.’ It’s like the, you know, comedy stuff that’s, like, intentionally funny. Like, I love ‘Nathan for You,’ that Comedy Central show. It’s just brilliant. My friend Bill Eichner has a show called ‘Billy on the Street’ that I write for, and even if I didn’t write for it, I’d still love it.  (Julie Klausner Quotes) I think when it comes to women who write or who fancy ourselves ‘hip downtown literati’, there is a certain contempt for being overly sexual or really looking for boyfriends. We tend to be marginalized as some ‘Sex and The City’ Carrie Bradshaw chick-lit dummies who just want shoes and a ring.  (Julie Klausner Quotes) So, things aren’t clicking with this sweet guy who keeps calling you. So what? Things like chemistry and fate and all the rest actually exist. You don’t need to flip out if you’re seeing a guy who’s really nice to you and you’re not attracted to him. It doesn’t have to necessarily be because he’s nice to you and you hate yourself.  (Julie Klausner Quotes) I’m at the point, frankly, where I’d rather deal with a misogynist with a copy of Tucker Max’s book in his backpack over someone in sensitive emo-boy clothing, because both are misogynists, only the one with the backpack is more honest about just how scared of women he is.  (Julie Klausner Quotes) I think feeling responsible for stuff that goes wrong is an inherent part of being female  (Julie Klausner Quotes) I think of basset hounds whenever I turn on my computer because I have photos of them. And if I’m lucky, and I see one on the street, I know it’s going to be a good day. They really are like a four-leaf clover.  (Julie Klausner Quotes) Babies, babies, babies! They’re everywhere, aren’t they? In our eyes, in our thoughts, in our arms, in our dreams. Sometimes, in our dreams, they are riding alpacas or juggling tacos - but that doesn’t mean those dreams are necessarily about babies. Look, I’m not Freud.  (Julie Klausner Quotes) Oh, yeah, I did the online dating thing. I did Nerve, I did Match. On Nerve there was this one guy who, when I asked him what he did for a living, said he ‘used to be in a band.’ I was like, ‘That is not an occupation.’  (Julie Klausner Quotes) I think Joan Rivers is such an untapped legend that people just don’t appreciate, because they grew up with her on QVC, or they grew up with her on E!, or they grew up watching her do the things that in their minds the more prestigious comics wouldn’t have taken or done.  (Julie Klausner Quotes) I look forward to the day when being called ‘another Monica Lewinsky’ refers to the hard work behind a master’s degree in social psychology from the London School of Economics, after spending the first act of one’s life deflecting the shame of a scandal that should have rested on the shoulders of a man old enough to have known better.  (Julie Klausner Quotes) There are good intentions behind many people’s conversion to veganism, including an admirable devotion to the well-being of animals and a justified skepticism about the crap the USDA allows manufacturers to put in our food. But it’s hard to ignore the often sanctimonious nature of what some nutritionists view as an ‘extremist’ way of eating.  (Julie Klausner Quotes) Only sad sacks and conformists need things like no kiss on New Year’s Eve to remind them to feel lonely. They’re as bad as the people who need St. Patty’s Day as an excuse to get drunk or Halloween to wear slutty outfits. You can feel sorry for yourself and dress like a hooker all year round: Hallmark never needs to know  (Julie Klausner Quotes) I’m not big on regret - until time travel actually exists, it seems like a waste of making yourself feel bad  (Julie Klausner Quotes) Fear can be the result of admiration, or it can be a symptom of contempt  (Julie Klausner Quotes) I’m really afraid of spiders and my own feelings  (Julie Klausner Quotes) Do you think trees are the new birds? Don’t answer that right away  (Julie Klausner Quotes) We don’t use phones anymore in this day and age, yet she still phones things in  (Julie Klausner Quotes)