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Jon Stewart Quotes

Money may not buy happiness, but it's better to cry in a Lamborghini
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I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work
Men go shopping to buy what they need. Women go shopping to find out what they want
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I like me a little bit more when i'm with you
And then you meet one person and your life changes forever
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Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results
If cats could talk, they wouldn't
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Don't look back you're not going that way
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Friendship Quotes Love Quotes Life Quotes Funny Quotes Motivational Quotes Inspirational Quotes
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Text Quotes
I'm not going to censor myself to comfort your ignorance  (Jon Stewart Quotes) If you don't stick to your values when they're being tested, they're not values - they're hobbies  (Jon Stewart Quotes) Global warming is a hoax, because it is cold. Today. Where I live  (Jon Stewart Quotes) Poor people have sh*tty lobbyists  (Jon Stewart Quotes) This show is our own personal beliefs  (Jon Stewart Quotes) Religion is far more of a choice than homosexuality  (Jon Stewart Quotes) College is something you complete. Life is something you experience  (Jon Stewart Quotes) There’s a market for cocaine and hookers  (Jon Stewart Quotes) Congress is the Justin Bieber of our government  (Jon Stewart Quotes) Watching Fox, that’s like watching the Cartoon Network. Fox is nuts  (Jon Stewart Quotes) The Rapture: The ultimate Republican back-up plan  (Jon Stewart Quotes) People talk about sexual assault like it’s a bad habit that men have  (Jon Stewart Quotes) I kid because I’m on basic cable  (Jon Stewart Quotes) Senior year is supposed to be about being mentally done  (Jon Stewart Quotes) I can’t believe I’m comforting a billionaire  (Jon Stewart Quotes) I know change can be painful. But from change comes growth.  (Jon Stewart Quotes) At the end of your life, do you give a concession speech?  (Jon Stewart Quotes) Everyone just needs to get over themselves  (Jon Stewart Quotes) I feel like [God]’s hazing us  (Jon Stewart Quotes) It’s not really a good sign when your audience applauds Satan  (Jon Stewart Quotes) If you try to hit a grand slam, you’re going to strike out  (Jon Stewart Quotes) Sometimes it’s hard to face your own...life.  (Jon Stewart Quotes) If America leads a blessed life, then why did God put all of our oil under people who hate us?  (Jon Stewart Quotes) If gays become accepted then more people will decide to be gay. Yes, because after blacks gained rights, all the white people went out and decided to be black  (Jon Stewart Quotes) Here it is... your moment of zen  (Jon Stewart Quotes) It’s always funny until the hooker mentions her son  (Jon Stewart Quotes) Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch  (Jon Stewart Quotes) It’s like hunting cows  (Jon Stewart Quotes) If everything is amplified, we hear nothing  (Jon Stewart Quotes)
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