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Johnny Carson Quotes

Happiness is finding two olives in your Martini when you're hungry Picture Quote #1
Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die Picture Quote #1
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas Picture Quote #1
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself Picture Quote #2
Only lie about the future Picture Quote #1
Blow in it’s ear Picture Quote #1
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The closest thing to Roseanne Barr’s singing the national anthem was my cat being neutered Picture Quote #1
Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do Picture Quote #1
When turkeys mate they think of swans Picture Quote #1
He’s so fat, he can be his own running mate Picture Quote #1
Happiness is a tiger in your tank and a pussycat in your back seat Picture Quote #1
Happiness is your dentist telling you it won’t hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill Picture Quote #1
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Text Quotes
Happiness is finding two olives in your Martini when you're hungry  (Johnny Carson Quotes) Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die  (Johnny Carson Quotes) Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas  (Johnny Carson Quotes) I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself  (Johnny Carson Quotes) Only lie about the future  (Johnny Carson Quotes) Blow in it’s ear  (Johnny Carson Quotes) The closest thing to Roseanne Barr’s singing the national anthem was my cat being neutered  (Johnny Carson Quotes) Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do  (Johnny Carson Quotes) When turkeys mate they think of swans  (Johnny Carson Quotes) He’s so fat, he can be his own running mate  (Johnny Carson Quotes) Happiness is a tiger in your tank and a pussycat in your back seat  (Johnny Carson Quotes) Happiness is your dentist telling you it won’t hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill  (Johnny Carson Quotes)