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Jimmy Fallon Quotes

Chocolate is the answer. Who cares what the question is - Funny Quotes
A true friend is someone who accepts your past, supports your present and encourages your future - Friend Quotes
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just to be sure - Funny Quotes
If cats could talk, they wouldn't - Cat Quotes
Dogs teach us a lot of things but none more important than to love unconditionally - Dog Quotes
A girl doesn't need anyone who doesn't need her - Marilyn Monroe Quotes
I told you I'll be ready in FIVE minutes, stop calling me every half hour - Funny Quotes
I meant to behave but there were too many other options - Funny Quotes
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Text Quotes
Researches tested a new form of medical marijuana that treats pain but doesn’t get the user high, prompting patients who need medical marijuana to declare, ‘Thank you?  (Jimmy Fallon Quotes) We had the guys from X Men 2 do the cameras. They had a 360 camera that would go from one car, up in the air and over to another car in a continuous shot while the film was still rolling, going 90 mph  (Jimmy Fallon Quotes) Arnold Schwarzenegger’s publicist told USA Today that the actor has not ruled out running for governor of California, saying that he will make a decision soon. Reportedly Arnold needs that time to learn how to pronounce ‘gubernatorial.’  (Jimmy Fallon Quotes) I don’t shoot guns. I don’t know how to do that. I grew Upstate New York, so I fought with my fists  (Jimmy Fallon Quotes) I, of course, wanted to do something with Drew Barrymore. Please. So we were reading scripts back and forth and then we found this script, Fever Pitch  (Jimmy Fallon Quotes) In New York, there are so many potholes, they’re like craters on the moon. That’s another traffic thing  (Jimmy Fallon Quotes) Researches at Yale found a connection between brain cancer and work environment. The No. 1 most dangerous job for developing brain cancer? Plutonium hat model  (Jimmy Fallon Quotes) There couldn’t have been a better Hollywood ending for us. It’s beyond baseball. It’s rooting for your family  (Jimmy Fallon Quotes) We picked the Red Sox because they lose. If you root for something that loses for 86 years, you’re a pretty good fan. You don’t have to win everything to be a fan of something  (Jimmy Fallon Quotes) You can’t reinvent the wheel. I remember when we first started out at ‘Late Night,’ we were trying to hire directors, and this guy was like, ‘I see you behind a glass desk.’ I don’t. And he’s like, ‘Yeah, the glass desk.’ I go, ‘I don’t really see me as a glass desk guy.’  (Jimmy Fallon Quotes) I became a Yankees fan for a few years. But now, I gotta say, I’m really rooting for the Red Sox  (Jimmy Fallon Quotes) ‘Have fun’ is my message. Be silly. You’re allowed to be silly. There’s nothing wrong with it  (Jimmy Fallon Quotes) I don’t even read the papers. I read ‘USA Today’ because it has color photos  (Jimmy Fallon Quotes) Thank you... fat dude with giant headphones on the subway, for looking like what would’ve happened if Jabba the Hutt mated with Princess Leia  (Jimmy Fallon Quotes) I can watch an episode of Jerry Seinfeld, and by the end, I’m just walking around my house, you know, talking like Jerry Seinfeld. ‘What is that? What are you doing? Who is it? What’s going’ - you know, I just had that thing, when I grew up, I’d just start talking like people. You know, I always had that  (Jimmy Fallon Quotes) I just feel like people like a little break. Especially at 12:37 at night, you go, like, ‘I’m just tired of the snarky right now. I just want to lie down and have somebody make me laugh for an hour. Entertain me, and then I’m going to sleep with a smile on my face.’ That’s my job; that’s what I do  (Jimmy Fallon Quotes) I wanted to be the next Dana Carvey. This was my ultimate goal. If I ever cut into a birthday cake and made a wish, I would wish to be on ‘Saturday Night Live.’ If I threw a coin into a fountain, I would wish to be on ‘Saturday Night Live.’ If I saw a shooting star, I would wish to be on ‘Saturday Night Live.’  (Jimmy Fallon Quotes) I’d be nothing without my wife. She’s the coolest. She’s the greatest. She is the smartest. She’s the funniest. I love her so much. She’s like the - it’s like your best friend for the rest of your life  (Jimmy Fallon Quotes) Thank you... ‘Real Housewives of Atlanta,’ for demonstrating a universal truth: Idiots like me will always watch idiots like you fight on TV. You will forever be in my TiVo  (Jimmy Fallon Quotes) Thank you... adjustable baseball caps with no logo on the front and mesh netting in the back, for being a great way to say, ‘Hi, I’m over 80 years old.’  (Jimmy Fallon Quotes) Thank you... Apple, for adding a camera to the iPod Nano. Now it’s just like the iPhone except it can’t make calls. So basically, it’s just like the iPhone  (Jimmy Fallon Quotes) Thank you... preseason football, for having all the excitement, commercials, and time-outs of the regular season, but with none of the mattering. I appreciate it. Thank you  (Jimmy Fallon Quotes) When I was a kid, you would tune in to ‘The Tonight Show’ before you went to sleep. Johnny Carson. A big treat. I know it’s a privilege of mine to be able to be in people’s homes. So I hope I make everyone proud, including my parents, and do a good job in this  (Jimmy Fallon Quotes) God invented mankind because he loved silly stories. Ralph Steadman I like being absurd  (Jimmy Fallon Quotes) In a recent attack ad, the NRA claims that President Obama cares about his own children more than he cares about other children. In response, President Obama was like, ‘Yeah, that’s how families work.’  (Jimmy Fallon Quotes) Oh here’s an idea: let’s make pictures of our internal organs and give them to other people we love on Valentine’s Day. That’s not weird at all  (Jimmy Fallon Quotes) Thank you ‘adults who wear back packs’ for letting me know that I don’t have to take you seriously  (Jimmy Fallon Quotes) This week a man was arrested for jumping over the White House fence and trying to spray paint a political message. If that guy really wanted to get a message to the president, he could have just written it in an email to literally anyone  (Jimmy Fallon Quotes) There’s a new Facebook app that will post a final status update for you after you die. That’s ridiculous. I don’t need someone to change my status when I die. I need them to water my Farmville crops  (Jimmy Fallon Quotes) President Obama had beer with four unemployed construction workers. And Obama asked the guys what was it like to lose their jobs, and they were like, ‘Oh, you’ll see.’  (Jimmy Fallon Quotes)
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