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Jim Gaffigan Quotes

Pie can’t compete with cake. Put candles in a cake, it’s a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, and somebody’s drunk in the kitchen Picture Quote #1

When you hear bacon cooking... that sizzling sound isn’t the fat cooking... that’s applause Picture Quote #1

In the end, the type of parent you are is going to be something that you carry with you... Having multiple kids, it’s been a gift in a way. It’s keeping the priorities straighter Picture Quote #1

You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon Picture Quote #1

One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied Picture Quote #1

Yeah the appetizer, that’s the food we eat before we have our food... No no you’re thinking of dessert, that’s food we eat after we have our food Picture Quote #1

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I’m a comedian, which is the opposite of a lifestyle that equips you to be a parent Picture Quote #1

No one goes into standup to make money. The frustration and rejection are just too much Picture Quote #1

I try to only eat animals that are vegan. I’m probably the opposite of a vegan Picture Quote #1

I was the youngest of six kids, so yeah, feeding myself was important, but it’s not like I was obsessed with food growing up Picture Quote #1

I’m an eccentric, silly, observational guy, but I’m not gonna frighten off social conservatives Picture Quote #1

My whole comic persona is that of a guy who explores the id: I romanticize gluttony, I romanticize laziness, and people identify with that Picture Quote #1

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There’s something about being a parent that has, I think, made me a better comedian Picture Quote #1

There’s something that’s really fun about the challenge of making the mundane funny, too, I think Picture Quote #1

Comics write to their point of view. If you’re an exceedingly irreverent comedian, you’ve got to see where that point of view fits or produces the most funny Picture Quote #1

I would say some of the food I talk about that I really enjoy, like cake and bacon, I eat a lot less than I portray in my act. But that stuff that I dislike, it’s pretty sincere Picture Quote #1

People treat having a kid as somehow retiring from success. Quitting. Have you seen a baby? They’re pretty cute. Loving them is pretty easy. Smiling babies should actually be categorized by the pharmaceutical industry as a powerful antidepressant. Being happy is really the definition of success, isn’t it? Picture Quote #1

I guess the reasons against having more children always seem uninspiring and superficial. What exactly am I missing out on? Money? A few more hours of sleep? A more peaceful meal? More hair? These are nothing compared to what I get from these five monsters who rule my life Picture Quote #1

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Hopefully, some of it has to do with us being good actors, too. There’s some of it where you get lucky. You come on the job and there are people with you where there’s a chemistry there Picture Quote #1

As an actor, you deal with so much rejection and humiliation. When the good things come around, you tend not to trust your instincts Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

Pie can’t compete with cake. Put candles in a cake, it’s a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, and somebody’s drunk in the kitchen (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) When you hear bacon cooking... that sizzling sound isn’t the fat cooking... that’s applause (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) In the end, the type of parent you are is going to be something that you carry with you... Having multiple kids, it’s been a gift in a way. It’s keeping the priorities straighter (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) Yeah the appetizer, that’s the food we eat before we have our food... No no you’re thinking of dessert, that’s food we eat after we have our food (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) I’m a comedian, which is the opposite of a lifestyle that equips you to be a parent (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) No one goes into standup to make money. The frustration and rejection are just too much (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) I try to only eat animals that are vegan. I’m probably the opposite of a vegan (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) I was the youngest of six kids, so yeah, feeding myself was important, but it’s not like I was obsessed with food growing up (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) I’m an eccentric, silly, observational guy, but I’m not gonna frighten off social conservatives (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) My whole comic persona is that of a guy who explores the id: I romanticize gluttony, I romanticize laziness, and people identify with that (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) There’s something about being a parent that has, I think, made me a better comedian (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) There’s something that’s really fun about the challenge of making the mundane funny, too, I think (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) Comics write to their point of view. If you’re an exceedingly irreverent comedian, you’ve got to see where that point of view fits or produces the most funny (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) I would say some of the food I talk about that I really enjoy, like cake and bacon, I eat a lot less than I portray in my act. But that stuff that I dislike, it’s pretty sincere (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) People treat having a kid as somehow retiring from success. Quitting. Have you seen a baby? They’re pretty cute. Loving them is pretty easy. Smiling babies should actually be categorized by the pharmaceutical industry as a powerful antidepressant. Being happy is really the definition of success, isn’t it? (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) I guess the reasons against having more children always seem uninspiring and superficial. What exactly am I missing out on? Money? A few more hours of sleep? A more peaceful meal? More hair? These are nothing compared to what I get from these five monsters who rule my life (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) Hopefully, some of it has to do with us being good actors, too. There’s some of it where you get lucky. You come on the job and there are people with you where there’s a chemistry there (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) As an actor, you deal with so much rejection and humiliation. When the good things come around, you tend not to trust your instincts (Jim Gaffigan Quotes)

1 - 2 3 4 5 6