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Jim Gaffigan Quotes

I’m much more interested in making people laugh than getting applause breaks Picture Quote #1

Well my chocolate is so good I could sell it in an obnoxious prism shape Picture Quote #1

Failing and laughing at your own shortcomings are the hallmarks of a sane parent Picture Quote #1

Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us? Picture Quote #1

All I want to do is be a good dad, but I’m pretty bad at it Picture Quote #1

The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal Picture Quote #1

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Whenever you correct someone’s grammar just remember that nobody likes you Picture Quote #1

I think I have a lot of voices in my head and I guess my inner critic is a female Picture Quote #1

I don’t know if I’m the husky guy, but I’m the sexy guy who’s a good kisser Picture Quote #1

If I was on an airplane, the people in coach would know who I am. But no one in first class would know Picture Quote #1

I was the youngest of the six kids, and to make my older siblings laugh, that was very important. I did a great impression of our dad that made them all laugh, so that gave me a lot of power within the family Picture Quote #1

I’m there to make people laugh. I’m not trying to come across as sexy Picture Quote #1

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What’s amazing about doing movies, compared to television, there’s an ending you can see. There’s an enthusiasm to it Picture Quote #1

There is this false perception that comedians can never be serious. It’s like from like the era of court jesters Picture Quote #1

There’s a certain balance between finding an opportunity to do what you really enjoy and getting caught up in the flattery of people wanting you to do things Picture Quote #1

I should clarify that anyone that goes onstage and makes strangers laugh is insane. So I am insane Picture Quote #1

Holidays are also an opportunity for kids to unlearn every good habit they’ve learned during the rest of the year. They don’t go to school. They get to stay up past their bedtime. They get candy and presents for doing nothing. Childhood utopia Picture Quote #1

Babies and toddlers are mostly what I’ve been exposed to at this point. I’m hoping parenting just gets much easier after this. It does, right? Picture Quote #1

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I’m not a foodie; I’m an eatie. I don’t have anything against foodies. I just don’t have the time or the interest to do that much research Picture Quote #1

I believe that comedians do what they do, and then they get credit or criticism for doing it. There’s nothing planned about this Picture Quote #1

I wish, in some ways, I was the type of comedian who could do something blistering and topical, but I’m the guy who gets stuck in the revolving door and thinks I should write about that Picture Quote #1

Whatever a writer gets paid for his book, it’s never enough. I think that’s true. It’s hard work. But in the end, you wrote a book. It’s something real and tangible that sits on a shelf forever Picture Quote #1

For a comedian to kind of catch onto something right as something’s catching on in our culture, a lot of it is luck, and you hope the joke is funny Picture Quote #1

Comedians rarely have writers, and if you do it’s usually a sign of laziness Picture Quote #1

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Twitter allowed me to talk about parenting in short snippets and find out what I really wanted to say about it, which is that I’m a dad who had no idea what he’s doing Picture Quote #1

Raising kids may be a thankless job with ridiculous hours, but at least the pay sucks Picture Quote #1

If camping is so great, why are the bugs always trying to get in your house? Picture Quote #1

I don’t know what’s more exhausting about parenting: the getting up early, or acting like you know what you’re doing Picture Quote #1

Other people’s children’s birthday parties are the most joyful events you will ever resent having to attend Picture Quote #1

You don’t use mayonnaise, why?... Are you addicted to mayonnaise? Is it okay if I use mayonnaise? I could go outside Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

I’m much more interested in making people laugh than getting applause breaks (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) Well my chocolate is so good I could sell it in an obnoxious prism shape (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) Failing and laughing at your own shortcomings are the hallmarks of a sane parent (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us? (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) All I want to do is be a good dad, but I’m pretty bad at it (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) Whenever you correct someone’s grammar just remember that nobody likes you (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) I think I have a lot of voices in my head and I guess my inner critic is a female (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) I don’t know if I’m the husky guy, but I’m the sexy guy who’s a good kisser (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) If I was on an airplane, the people in coach would know who I am. But no one in first class would know (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) I was the youngest of the six kids, and to make my older siblings laugh, that was very important. I did a great impression of our dad that made them all laugh, so that gave me a lot of power within the family (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) I’m there to make people laugh. I’m not trying to come across as sexy (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) What’s amazing about doing movies, compared to television, there’s an ending you can see. There’s an enthusiasm to it (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) There is this false perception that comedians can never be serious. It’s like from like the era of court jesters (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) There’s a certain balance between finding an opportunity to do what you really enjoy and getting caught up in the flattery of people wanting you to do things (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) I should clarify that anyone that goes onstage and makes strangers laugh is insane. So I am insane (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) Holidays are also an opportunity for kids to unlearn every good habit they’ve learned during the rest of the year. They don’t go to school. They get to stay up past their bedtime. They get candy and presents for doing nothing. Childhood utopia (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) Babies and toddlers are mostly what I’ve been exposed to at this point. I’m hoping parenting just gets much easier after this. It does, right? (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) I’m not a foodie; I’m an eatie. I don’t have anything against foodies. I just don’t have the time or the interest to do that much research (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) I believe that comedians do what they do, and then they get credit or criticism for doing it. There’s nothing planned about this (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) I wish, in some ways, I was the type of comedian who could do something blistering and topical, but I’m the guy who gets stuck in the revolving door and thinks I should write about that (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) Whatever a writer gets paid for his book, it’s never enough. I think that’s true. It’s hard work. But in the end, you wrote a book. It’s something real and tangible that sits on a shelf forever (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) For a comedian to kind of catch onto something right as something’s catching on in our culture, a lot of it is luck, and you hope the joke is funny (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) Comedians rarely have writers, and if you do it’s usually a sign of laziness (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) Twitter allowed me to talk about parenting in short snippets and find out what I really wanted to say about it, which is that I’m a dad who had no idea what he’s doing (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) Raising kids may be a thankless job with ridiculous hours, but at least the pay sucks (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) If camping is so great, why are the bugs always trying to get in your house? (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) I don’t know what’s more exhausting about parenting: the getting up early, or acting like you know what you’re doing (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) Other people’s children’s birthday parties are the most joyful events you will ever resent having to attend (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) You don’t use mayonnaise, why?... Are you addicted to mayonnaise? Is it okay if I use mayonnaise? I could go outside (Jim Gaffigan Quotes)

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