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Jim Gaffigan Quotes

If cats could talk, they wouldn't
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Don't look back you're not going that way
Having you in my life made everything better
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Dogs teach us a lot of things but none more important than to love unconditionally
You had me at hello
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I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results
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And then you meet one person and your life changes forever
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Friendship Quotes Love Quotes Life Quotes Funny Quotes Motivational Quotes Inspirational Quotes
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Text Quotes
You ever see a photo of yourself and it kinda ruins your day?  (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) Instead of enjoying this moment, let’s take pictures  (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) I did nothing today. That’s my favorite activity  (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) A hammock. It’s like a giant net for catching lazy people  (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) My favorite vegetable is the marshmallow  (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) Most single guys I know think fatherhood is terrifying  (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) My comedy is romanticized laziness  (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) We tend to outdo ourselves  (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) Ever read a book that changed your life? Me neither.  (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) The DC Improv food is amazingly edible for a comedy club  (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) I don’t want to get involved in the culture war. Religion’s iffy.  (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) The real question is should we trust people who don’t like cheese?  (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) I smoke crack. I get all my dancers together and we do a prayer.  (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) My goal in life is to be as happy as a studio audience  (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) All I want to do is be a good dad, but I’m pretty bad at it  (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) I grew up in Sheepshead Bay  (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) I grew up 45 minutes outside of Chicago  (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) There are people that are vegetarians that love bacon  (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) The question is the primary form of communication for little kids  (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) I like to think of bread as really bland cake  (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) The real question is should we trust people who don’t like cheese?  (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) Bacon bits are like the fairy dust of the food community  (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) Hey, people who travel with their bed pillow. You look insane  (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) You ever read a book that changed your life? Me neither  (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) Ever eat so much you feel sick? Isn’t that the best?  (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) I have more pictures of my children than my father ever looked at me  (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) You know, I want to teach, but I don’t want to read?  (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) Bacon’s the best. Even the frying of bacon sounds like applause  (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) My new years resolution? I will be less laz  (Jim Gaffigan Quotes) I come from a very big family... nine parents  (Jim Gaffigan Quotes)
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