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Jerry Lewis Quotes

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Comedy is a man in trouble. And without it, there’s no humor.  (Jerry Lewis Quotes) The doc told me I had a dual personality. Then he lays an 82 dollar bill on me, so I give him 41 bucks and say, ‘Get the other 41 bucks from the other guy.’  (Jerry Lewis Quotes) Don’t you understand how dramatic it is to be a comic? To be a fool, to get people to laugh at this show-off? Milton Berle could take Laurence Olivier and stick him under the table if he wanted to. And so could I  (Jerry Lewis Quotes) If I found the cure for dystrophy tomorrow, I would do a telethon in four weeks for acute pain that in this country is a bigger problem than cancer, heart, sickle cell, anemia, name it. It is - it’s hitting 70 million Americans  (Jerry Lewis Quotes) I have a loyalty that runs in my bloodstream, when I lock into someone or something, you can’t get me away from it because I commit that thoroughly. That’s in friendship, that’s a deal, that’s a commitment. Don’t give me paper - I can get the same lawyer who drew it up to break it. But if you shake my hand, that’s for life  (Jerry Lewis Quotes) We’re leaving the House to people who either were born with a silver spoon in their mouth... Or couldn’t get better jobs in the first place  (Jerry Lewis Quotes) The day you’re born, you get the pink slip on YOU. Outright ownership. You must only share that life with those that you and only you choose  (Jerry Lewis Quotes) From 1936 on, I have taken more falls than any other 20 comedians put together. From the time I was 21, I’ve taken them on everything from clay courts to cement to wood floors, coming off pianos, going out a two-story window, landing on Dean, falling into the rough. You do that and you’re gonna have problems  (Jerry Lewis Quotes) I tell young comics, ‘Do you want this badly enough? It’s there. But you have to go get it. And if you think I’m going to give you the key to the lock of that door, there is no key, there is no lock, and there is no door.’  (Jerry Lewis Quotes) I turned down ‘Some Like It Hot.’ See how smart I am? I felt I couldn’t bring anything funny to it. The outfit was funny. I don’t need to compete with the wardrobe  (Jerry Lewis Quotes) I think the cartoons that they’re children are watching, particularly ‘The Simpsons,’ they’re OK. I think that the adult audience is making much too much of the danger that they imply. That’s not the case. The danger for children today, honey, is the news. Keep them away from news on television  (Jerry Lewis Quotes) Postwar America was a very buttoned-up nation. Radio shows were run by censors, Presidents wore hats, ladies wore girdles. We came straight out of the blue - nobody was expecting anything like Martin and Lewis. A sexy guy and a monkey is how some people saw us  (Jerry Lewis Quotes) The young man who’s had the Guggenheim fortune behind him all his life - he can hire all the authorities on the subject to teach him how to do a monologue, but he’s never going to have the right stuff to pull it off. If he doesn’t walk out onstage needing to walk out there, he doesn’t have a dream of doing well  (Jerry Lewis Quotes) When I hit around 65, 66, I started to feel tremendous worth and incredible personal esteem. I was becoming very cognisant of my contribution to the American spirit of helping your fellow man and all of the good stuff  (Jerry Lewis Quotes) When I would be myself, I was being big-headed. I was being egotistical. I was a megalomaniac, when it really was just having not to be a monkey for a few hours a day. And fulfilling the need to be a man  (Jerry Lewis Quotes) (The Nutty Professor) was a labor of love. It was a total film. It was the most productive, creative work of my life  (Jerry Lewis Quotes) Don’t give me paper - I can get the same lawyer who drew it up to break it. But if you shake my hand, that’s for life  (Jerry Lewis Quotes) I turned down ‘Some Like It Hot.’ See how smart I am? I felt I couldn’t bring anything funny to it. The outfit was funny. I don’t need to compete with the wardrobe.  (Jerry Lewis Quotes) Gambling is part of the human condition. I love it. I have the best time gambling. I’ve been winning fortunes, and I’ve been losing them.  (Jerry Lewis Quotes) I never got a formal education. So my intellect is my common sense. I don’t have anything else going for me. And my common sense opens the door to instinct.  (Jerry Lewis Quotes) If you’re an old pro, you know how well you’re doing when you’re doing it, and your inner government spanks you if you’re not doing well.  (Jerry Lewis Quotes) Every man’s dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands.  (Jerry Lewis Quotes) The day you’re born, you get the pink slip on YOU. Outright ownership. You must only share that life with those that you and only you choose.  (Jerry Lewis Quotes) I’ve had the greatest respect for my work in this country by Americans. Critics have no brains.  (Jerry Lewis Quotes) Make film, shoot film, run film. Do something. Make film. Shoot anything  (Jerry Lewis Quotes) Adrenaline is wonderful. It covers pain. It covers dementia. It covers everything  (Jerry Lewis Quotes) I get paid for what most kids get punished for  (Jerry Lewis Quotes) I’ve had great success being a total idiot  (Jerry Lewis Quotes) A Madagascar Hissing Roach chasing Jerry Lewis. That would be a really neat treat  (Jerry Lewis Quotes) I never tell an audience what they can expect. I never have and I never will. I’m an entertainer for 75 years  (Jerry Lewis Quotes)
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