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Jeff Ross Quotes

Comics just don’t retire. They either die young or they go to 100 Picture Quote #1

I usually have sex to my stand-up comedy album. Power move Picture Quote #1

You have such a huge career ... behind you Picture Quote #1

Bad taste is not illegal. I always got my first laughs as a kid by saying inappropriate things. That’s always how we’re going to get our laughs as comics Picture Quote #1

I want the roast to be like a party where everybody goes and has a good time Picture Quote #1

I think comics should test people, I think it’s our job to go too far. That way we know as a society what too far is. Where else are you going to hear it? Picture Quote #1

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I’m pretty careful about the things I say ahead of time. I’m thoughtful about not going too far. The only thing you can do occasionally is be too much Picture Quote #1

The real question is how do you stay funny in your 70s and 80s? And that’s a real accomplishment, you know, the longevity Picture Quote #1

People are roasting each other at parties, at work events, around the fire. It’s so fun. People are busting each other’s chops, and it’s a sign of affection, truly. It’s a true test of love and friendship: can you make a man laugh at himself? So what makes a good burn? Go after targets you love and respect. And hit ‘em hard Picture Quote #1

You don’t mess with Oprah. She has enough money in her left pocket to have me killed Picture Quote #1

People love to see public figures get taken down a notch, and by the same token, everyone loves to be the center of attention, even when there’s a target on their forehead Picture Quote #1

Comedians second-guessing themselves is scary. Poor taste is not a crime and we can’t forget that Picture Quote #1

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As soon as a roast is announced, I get everybody - family, friends, waitresses, cab drivers - giving me jokes about the person getting roasted. I’m the mouthpiece for the masses Picture Quote #1

My best friend is disabled. There’s nothing he hates more than being left out of the jokes, to be treated with kid gloves. That’s the insult Picture Quote #1

When I see something that’s sensitive, I go, ‘You’ve got to put that out there.’ You need to keep the dialogue going and shine a light on the bad guys. If you sweep it under the carpet, people forget about it. People stop talking about it Picture Quote #1

I’m a big fan of Courtney Love. I love Hole and I love her acting and I love her attitude. I just hope I never meet her in a dark alley Picture Quote #1

Sometimes during my set I invite volunteers up on stage to get speed-roasted and I’m worried that I may have hundreds of people rushing the stage all at once. Luckily I’m a black belt in karate and I can fend them off Picture Quote #1

When I see a good singer, I get teary-eyed. Part of it is jealousy because all comedians are frustrated rock stars. That’s a fact Picture Quote #1

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Last time I was in Canada Celine Dion had just given birth to identical twins. Which is quite an achievement given her age and face Picture Quote #1

With everybody having a Facebook and a Twitter, I feel like regular people consider themselves stars. It’s a live, real-time upload of every time we buy a pair of socks, the most telling sign that we’re losing our politeness. When you know everything about somebody, you can talk to them any way you please Picture Quote #1

You have such a huge career... behind you Picture Quote #1

Life is short. You have to be able to laugh at our pain or we never move on Picture Quote #1

My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles were all funny, and I felt that energy, that delivery, that timing, that sarcasm. All that stuff seeped into my brain Picture Quote #1

I’ve actually tried to roast somebody that I don’t like, and it doesn’t go well. Either they’re a bad sport or I’m not as funny as I could be Picture Quote #1

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Do you want me to apologize after every joke? If it doesn’t offend somebody it’s probably not a joke. It’s probably an observation that’s not funny. It’s gotta offend somebody somewhere Picture Quote #1

Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

Comics just don’t retire. They either die young or they go to 100. (Jeff Ross Quotes) I usually have sex to my stand-up comedy album. Power move (Jeff Ross Quotes) You have such a huge career ... behind you. (Jeff Ross Quotes) Bad taste is not illegal. I always got my first laughs as a kid by saying inappropriate things. That’s always how we’re going to get our laughs as comics. (Jeff Ross Quotes) I want the roast to be like a party where everybody goes and has a good time (Jeff Ross Quotes) I think comics should test people, I think it’s our job to go too far. That way we know as a society what too far is. Where else are you going to hear it? (Jeff Ross Quotes) I’m pretty careful about the things I say ahead of time. I’m thoughtful about not going too far. The only thing you can do occasionally is be too much. (Jeff Ross Quotes) The real question is how do you stay funny in your 70s and 80s? And that’s a real accomplishment, you know, the longevity. (Jeff Ross Quotes) People are roasting each other at parties, at work events, around the fire. It’s so fun. People are busting each other’s chops, and it’s a sign of affection, truly. It’s a true test of love and friendship: can you make a man laugh at himself? So what makes a good burn? Go after targets you love and respect. And hit ‘em hard. (Jeff Ross Quotes) You don’t mess with Oprah. She has enough money in her left pocket to have me killed. (Jeff Ross Quotes) People love to see public figures get taken down a notch, and by the same token, everyone loves to be the center of attention, even when there’s a target on their forehead. (Jeff Ross Quotes) Comedians second-guessing themselves is scary. Poor taste is not a crime and we can’t forget that. (Jeff Ross Quotes) As soon as a roast is announced, I get everybody - family, friends, waitresses, cab drivers - giving me jokes about the person getting roasted. I’m the mouthpiece for the masses. (Jeff Ross Quotes) My best friend is disabled. There’s nothing he hates more than being left out of the jokes, to be treated with kid gloves. That’s the insult. (Jeff Ross Quotes) When I see something that’s sensitive, I go, ‘You’ve got to put that out there.’ You need to keep the dialogue going and shine a light on the bad guys. If you sweep it under the carpet, people forget about it. People stop talking about it. (Jeff Ross Quotes) I’m a big fan of Courtney Love. I love Hole and I love her acting and I love her attitude. I just hope I never meet her in a dark alley. (Jeff Ross Quotes) Sometimes during my set I invite volunteers up on stage to get speed-roasted and I’m worried that I may have hundreds of people rushing the stage all at once. Luckily I’m a black belt in karate and I can fend them off (Jeff Ross Quotes) When I see a good singer, I get teary-eyed. Part of it is jealousy because all comedians are frustrated rock stars. That’s a fact (Jeff Ross Quotes) Last time I was in Canada Celine Dion had just given birth to identical twins. Which is quite an achievement given her age and face (Jeff Ross Quotes) With everybody having a Facebook and a Twitter, I feel like regular people consider themselves stars. It’s a live, real-time upload of every time we buy a pair of socks, the most telling sign that we’re losing our politeness. When you know everything about somebody, you can talk to them any way you please (Jeff Ross Quotes) You have such a huge career... behind you (Jeff Ross Quotes) Life is short. You have to be able to laugh at our pain or we never move on (Jeff Ross Quotes) My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles were all funny, and I felt that energy, that delivery, that timing, that sarcasm. All that stuff seeped into my brain (Jeff Ross Quotes) I’ve actually tried to roast somebody that I don’t like, and it doesn’t go well. Either they’re a bad sport or I’m not as funny as I could be (Jeff Ross Quotes) Do you want me to apologize after every joke? If it doesn’t offend somebody it’s probably not a joke. It’s probably an observation that’s not funny. It’s gotta offend somebody somewhere (Jeff Ross Quotes)