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Jay Mohr Quotes

There seems to be a weird ceiling to being a stand-up as far as acting Picture Quote #1

True Yankees are born, not made Picture Quote #1

You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over? Movie Day Picture Quote #1

Not everyone likes sports. Gandhi and Malcolm X come to mind Picture Quote #1

I’ve been doing stand-up 29 years; there is no other career when you’re finding your stride 30 years into it Picture Quote #1

The jokes were perfect! Then George Carlin started talking about the seven dirty words you can’t say on television, then it evolved into social commentary Picture Quote #1

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I created a human being from paper and I put it on the screen, a unique individual. I wish every performance, every IMDB credit, I would do it over, because I would do it better, because I would do it less. If that makes any sense Picture Quote #1

It’s always a job when you’re the reason they’re assembling. If you’re just doing shows and you’re on a lineup with eight other guys, it’s fun, it’s great Picture Quote #1

You can vibe out when people are getting tired or they’re too drunk to keep going along with Picture Quote #1

I realized early I can manipulate the ceiling in the middle class. The allure becomes how far I can make the ceiling rise Picture Quote #1

I miss third grade because you could kill people in dodgeball. Remember the rules to dodgeball? If you’re fat or have glasses, don’t show up because you’ll die Picture Quote #1

There is a lot of acting that is on the table - precisely, good acting. The best movies of mine are the ones that really nobody saw. The Groomsmen, Playing By Heart and Seeing Other People are by far the work I’m the most proud of Picture Quote #1

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First of all, my wife writes half my act. I don’t know how I could steal from my wife Picture Quote #1

George Carlin put it best. He said, My old act was so easy to do because there was so little of me in it Picture Quote #1

If you were an actor, anybody could go on Broadway and take a George Carlin hour and do it on stage as a one man show. They’re all stand alone essays Picture Quote #1

[George Carlin] was obsessive about time; he was obsessive compulsive about his material and making things shorter and more perfect. He did an HBO hour every other year. It’s live; you have to be off-stage at 55 minutes. It’s a network; you’ve got to be off. And it’s perfect Picture Quote #1

I’m telling you, I could teach at a university, [George] Carlin, a whole semester. The construction and deconstruction of the words, the language, the order Picture Quote #1

You could teach [George] Carlin in college. It’s the construction of the word and the order of things and how they go. How all those sentences are timed perfectly Picture Quote #1

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All that waiting around for a glimmer of stage time, just getting angry every week. It was just an oppressive, horrible, horrible place to be. I went to work feeling nauseous Picture Quote #1

What I like about stand-up is, it’s truthful. I’m not up there trying to get laid or look cool. I’m up there because I really love it, and it makes people happier Picture Quote #1

This is NOT a pretty good business. You cannot be pretty good and be a national headliner. That becomes the allure Picture Quote #1

What’s great about stand-up unlike athletes and other things when you get old you get old and rusty Picture Quote #1

Comedians are always going to be in the showbiz middle class, you’re not Brad Pitt; you’re never going to be Sam Rockwell or Shia LaBeouf or Leo DiCaprio. You’re a comic Picture Quote #1

What bothers me most about today is that we’re getting used 2 it. ENOUGH. 2nd amendment must go. Violence has 2 stop. Culture MUST change Picture Quote #1

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I never minded George Steinbrenner spending obscene amounts of money to put the best product on the field Picture Quote #1

But if applause throws off your timing, then you’re not the kind of comedian I would like to see. All you have to do is stand there and take it Picture Quote #1

I’ve asked Comedy Central, and they just say, I don’t know. It took Showtime two years to put my special on DVD. Owning your own content is the single most important thing in the world Picture Quote #1

Fantasy football is not only a good thing, but a great thing Picture Quote #1

Why are baseball managers the only coaches who dress up like the players? Picture Quote #1

Unfortunately, there are no mulligans when it comes to pro football contracts Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

There seems to be a weird ceiling to being a stand-up as far as acting (Jay Mohr Quotes) True Yankees are born, not made (Jay Mohr Quotes) You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over? Movie Day (Jay Mohr Quotes) Not everyone likes sports. Gandhi and Malcolm X come to mind (Jay Mohr Quotes) I’ve been doing stand-up 29 years; there is no other career when you’re finding your stride 30 years into it. (Jay Mohr Quotes) The jokes were perfect! Then George Carlin started talking about the seven dirty words you can’t say on television, then it evolved into social commentary. (Jay Mohr Quotes) I created a human being from paper and I put it on the screen, a unique individual. I wish every performance, every IMDB credit, I would do it over, because I would do it better, because I would do it less. If that makes any sense. (Jay Mohr Quotes) It’s always a job when you’re the reason they’re assembling. If you’re just doing shows and you’re on a lineup with eight other guys, it’s fun, it’s great. (Jay Mohr Quotes) You can vibe out when people are getting tired or they’re too drunk to keep going along with (Jay Mohr Quotes) I realized early I can manipulate the ceiling in the middle class. The allure becomes how far I can make the ceiling rise. (Jay Mohr Quotes) I miss third grade because you could kill people in dodgeball. Remember the rules to dodgeball? If you’re fat or have glasses, don’t show up because you’ll die. (Jay Mohr Quotes) There is a lot of acting that is on the table - precisely, good acting. The best movies of mine are the ones that really nobody saw. The Groomsmen, Playing By Heart and Seeing Other People are by far the work I’m the most proud of. (Jay Mohr Quotes) First of all, my wife writes half my act. I don’t know how I could steal from my wife. (Jay Mohr Quotes) George Carlin put it best. He said, My old act was so easy to do because there was so little of me in it. (Jay Mohr Quotes) If you were an actor, anybody could go on Broadway and take a George Carlin hour and do it on stage as a one man show. They’re all stand alone essays. (Jay Mohr Quotes) [George Carlin] was obsessive about time; he was obsessive compulsive about his material and making things shorter and more perfect. He did an HBO hour every other year. It’s live; you have to be off-stage at 55 minutes. It’s a network; you’ve got to be off. And it’s perfect. (Jay Mohr Quotes) I’m telling you, I could teach at a university, [George] Carlin, a whole semester. The construction and deconstruction of the words, the language, the order. (Jay Mohr Quotes) You could teach [George] Carlin in college. It’s the construction of the word and the order of things and how they go. How all those sentences are timed perfectly. (Jay Mohr Quotes) All that waiting around for a glimmer of stage time, just getting angry every week. It was just an oppressive, horrible, horrible place to be. I went to work feeling nauseous. (Jay Mohr Quotes) What I like about stand-up is, it’s truthful. I’m not up there trying to get laid or look cool. I’m up there because I really love it, and it makes people happier. (Jay Mohr Quotes) This is NOT a pretty good business. You cannot be pretty good and be a national headliner. That becomes the allure. (Jay Mohr Quotes) What’s great about stand-up unlike athletes and other things when you get old you get old and rusty. (Jay Mohr Quotes) Comedians are always going to be in the showbiz middle class, you’re not Brad Pitt; you’re never going to be Sam Rockwell or Shia LaBeouf or Leo DiCaprio. You’re a comic. (Jay Mohr Quotes) What bothers me most about today is that we’re getting used 2 it. ENOUGH. 2nd amendment must go. Violence has 2 stop. Culture MUST change (Jay Mohr Quotes) I never minded George Steinbrenner spending obscene amounts of money to put the best product on the field (Jay Mohr Quotes) But if applause throws off your timing, then you’re not the kind of comedian I would like to see. All you have to do is stand there and take it (Jay Mohr Quotes) I’ve asked Comedy Central, and they just say, I don’t know. It took Showtime two years to put my special on DVD. Owning your own content is the single most important thing in the world. (Jay Mohr Quotes) Fantasy football is not only a good thing, but a great thing (Jay Mohr Quotes) Why are baseball managers the only coaches who dress up like the players? (Jay Mohr Quotes) Unfortunately, there are no mulligans when it comes to pro football contracts (Jay Mohr Quotes)

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