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Jay Leno Quotes
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![Today, you get better performance from a Ford Focus than a Ferrari from the mid-70s. [The Focus] is just as fast and with better fuel economy. It’s fun to see supercar technology trickle down to everyday cars Picture Quote #1](https://img.picturequotes.com/2/769/768532/768532.webp "Today, you get better performance from a Ford Focus than a Ferrari from the mid-70s. [The Focus] is just as fast and with better fuel economy. It’s fun to see supercar technology trickle down to everyday cars Picture Quote #1")
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Friendship Quotes
Love Quotes
Life Quotes
Funny Quotes
Motivational Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
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Text Quotes
Republicans are calling the Bush-Cheney ticket the ‘Wizard of Oz’ ticket. One needs a heart and the other needs a brain (Jay Leno Quotes)
The Senate voted 97-0 for an anti-spam bill to stop those annoying things you get on your computer. The senators made it very clear that when you start misleading the American people and start taking their money over false promises, that’s our turf, buddy! (Jay Leno Quotes)
I feel bad for people who die on Valentine’s Day. How much would flowers cost then, ten grand? (Jay Leno Quotes)
According to USA Today, 74 percent of Americans plan to hand out candy this Halloween. Although President Obama thinks it should be just the top 1 percent (Jay Leno Quotes)
Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what’s called a red flag. That’s something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you have some money left in your bank account after paying taxes. That’s a red flag (Jay Leno Quotes)
Saddam Hussein also challenged President Bush to a debate. The Butcher of Baghdad vs. the Butcher of the English language (Jay Leno Quotes)
The report on climate change said that humans are very likely making the planet warmer. To which Hillary Clinton said, ‘Hey, can’t blame me for that one.’ (Jay Leno Quotes)
Arnold Schwarzenegger is blaming man for global warming. And today, Al Gore agreed with him. That’s so typical. Two cyborgs, ‘Oh, let’s blame the humans.’ (Jay Leno Quotes)
Al Gore is coming out with a movie about global warming called ‘ An Inconvenient Truth. ‘ It’s described as a detailed scientific view of global warming. President Bush said he just saw a film about global warming, ‘Ice Age 2; The Meltdown.’ He said, ‘It’s so much better than that boring Al Gore movie.’ (Jay Leno Quotes)
According to Time magazine, global warming is 33% worse than we thought. You know what that means? Al Gore is one-third more annoying than we thought (Jay Leno Quotes)
At a press conference yesterday NASA announced that 2005 was the hottest year on record. It is so hot, and global warming is so bad, if the presidential election were held today, Al Gore would still lose (Jay Leno Quotes)
I like cars that are ahead of their times, and that were noble failures because they were built to a higher standard than the consumer needed. Cars like the Wills Sainte Claire or the Duesenberg (Jay Leno Quotes)
Today, you get better performance from a Ford Focus than a Ferrari from the mid-70s. [The Focus] is just as fast and with better fuel economy. It’s fun to see supercar technology trickle down to everyday cars (Jay Leno Quotes)
Really? Anyone intimidated by Barack Obama? He can’t even keep Joe Biden in line (Jay Leno Quotes)
These White House scandals are not going away anytime soon. People in Kenya are now saying he’s 100 percent American. That’s how bad it’s gotten (Jay Leno Quotes)
The first lady said about her husband, ‘I could take up a whole afternoon talking about his failures.’ And today she was offered her own show on Fox News (Jay Leno Quotes)
Big scandal on the new ‘Survivor’ series. The white, the black and the Hispanic teams were caught cheating off the Asian team (Jay Leno Quotes)
General Colin Powell shocked a lot of people in Washington by speaking out against President Bush’s policies, saying that the world is beginning to doubt the moral basis of our fight against terrorism. That’s what I think he said - it was hard to hear him because he was being hustled out of the room to his cell in Guantanamo Bay (Jay Leno Quotes)
Astronomers have discovered a planet that is twice the size of earth and made of diamonds. President Obama says the planet may be inhabited by aliens not paying their fair share (Jay Leno Quotes)
A fitness instructor in Maine has been charged with running a prostitution business out of her Zumba dance studio. Authorities first got suspicious when they saw guys going to work out at a Zumba dance studio (Jay Leno Quotes)
Anthony Weiner and his wife, Huma, have given birth to a baby boy. He posted a photo of the new baby on Twitter, but people are afraid to open it (Jay Leno Quotes)
The FDA is now warning people not to eat raw cookie dough this holiday season. Is that how fat we’re getting in this country? Our ovens are too slow now? (Jay Leno Quotes)
San Francisco hosted the first medical marijuana job fair. The keynote speech was titled, ‘Jobs and How to Avoid Getting One.’ (Jay Leno Quotes)
Over 6 million people were evacuated from New Jersey ahead of the hurricane. And now, three of them have gone back (Jay Leno Quotes)
We pick politicians by how they look on TV and Miss America on where she stands on the issues. Isn’t that a little backwards? (Jay Leno Quotes)
President Obama said he is going to use the Gulf disaster to push a new energy bill through Congress. How about using the Gulf disaster to fix the Gulf disaster? (Jay Leno Quotes)
Clinton’s pet Labrador, Buddy, is getting neutered. The dog will never have sex again. Overnight, they’ve turned Buddy from a Democrat into a Republican (Jay Leno Quotes)
You know what’s sad about this? Not the gambling, but the best way to reach college athletes is the Cartoon Network (Jay Leno Quotes)
Today is February 14th - St. Valentine’s day. Women call it Love day, while men name it as Extortion day (Jay Leno Quotes)
Bill Maher and I are on against each other, and we’re friends. He can do my show any time he wants, and I’ve done Politically Incorrect several times. There’s no reason to think competition has to be adversarial (Jay Leno Quotes)