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Jarod Kintz Quotes

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Friendship Quotes Love Quotes Life Quotes Funny Quotes Motivational Quotes Inspirational Quotes
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The best ingredient is free. Free always makes food taste better.  (Jarod Kintz Quotes) Surviving cancer is cool, but surviving old age is cooler  (Jarod Kintz Quotes) The all-knowing yesterday is obsolete today  (Jarod Kintz Quotes) I may look like someone you know. I resemble an apple pie.  (Jarod Kintz Quotes) Me: On time. Love: Late. Death: Early. Seriously, why are you late?  (Jarod Kintz Quotes) Love is an art. Mine could fill a museum the size of your heart.  (Jarod Kintz Quotes) To stop a battle, a politician would propose a war  (Jarod Kintz Quotes) My father inherited my old looks  (Jarod Kintz Quotes) My leadership style can be summed up in one word: Follower  (Jarod Kintz Quotes) My ex girlfriend was exquisite, and my current one is quisite  (Jarod Kintz Quotes) The four years I spent in college were the best five years of my life  (Jarod Kintz Quotes) Together kabobs make the world better than all the Bobs combined  (Jarod Kintz Quotes) How big is my penis? Big enough to touch my hands.  (Jarod Kintz Quotes) I am the time machine of love. Quick, pull my big lever!  (Jarod Kintz Quotes) Love splattered on my life like bird shit on a windshield  (Jarod Kintz Quotes) Love is like war, except without all the blood and death and stuff  (Jarod Kintz Quotes) I own my own shoelaces, but my shoes I rent by the bowling game  (Jarod Kintz Quotes) Free pyramids! Buy one, get one half buried.  (Jarod Kintz Quotes) I fish for rain, but I only ever seem to catch snow  (Jarod Kintz Quotes) If you catch me talking in my sleep, your conversation bored me  (Jarod Kintz Quotes) His thin accusation hung thick in the air like fog smoking a cigarette  (Jarod Kintz Quotes) It was a cold night, so I got a fire going. I lit a scented candle.  (Jarod Kintz Quotes) My love is tube shaped. Don’t let your dad stick his dick in it.  (Jarod Kintz Quotes) Music is inaudible to deaf people, just as dancing is invisible to me  (Jarod Kintz Quotes) Design your future. Start with a logo.  (Jarod Kintz Quotes) I poured a compass into my coffee, to give the flavor some direction  (Jarod Kintz Quotes) Don’t drink my tears. They will only make you thirsty. And sad.  (Jarod Kintz Quotes) I like my relationships like I like my eggs. Over easy.  (Jarod Kintz Quotes) Music can elevate man to new heights. Especially elevator music.  (Jarod Kintz Quotes) Love is a circular emotion that surrounds you, like a hug. Or a noose.  (Jarod Kintz Quotes)
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