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Harriet Lerner Quotes

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The first world we find ourselves in is a family that is not of our choosing  (Harriet Lerner Quotes) Those of us who are locked into ineffective expressions of anger suffer as deeply as those of us who dare not get angry at all  (Harriet Lerner Quotes) It is not fear that stops you from doing the brave and true thing in your daily life. Rather, the problem is avoidance. You want to feel comfortable so you avoid doing or saying the thing that will evoke fear and other difficult emotions. Avoidance will make you feel less vulnerable in the short run but, it will never make you less afraid  (Harriet Lerner Quotes) It is an act of courage to acknowledge our own uncertainty and sit with it for a while  (Harriet Lerner Quotes) The strongest relationships are between two people who can live without each other but don’t want to  (Harriet Lerner Quotes) Only through our connectedness to others can we really know and enhance the self. And only through working on the self can we begin to enhance our connectedness to others  (Harriet Lerner Quotes) Although the connections are not always obvious, personal change is inseparable from social and political change  (Harriet Lerner Quotes) Intimate relationships cannot substitute for a life plan. But to have any meaning or viability at all, a life plan must include intimate relationships  (Harriet Lerner Quotes) The more we seek exclusivity in friendship, the more it becomes obligatory and the less likely it is to fulfill the wonderful vision of what true friendship can be  (Harriet Lerner Quotes) Differences don’t just threaten and divide us. They also inform, enrich, and enliven us  (Harriet Lerner Quotes) The body, seeking truth, sends a signal. But decoding it, interpreting its meaning, and knowing how to proceed from there is another matter entirely  (Harriet Lerner Quotes) Many of our problems with anger occur when we choose between having a relationship and having a self  (Harriet Lerner Quotes) Telling a true story about personal experience is not just a matter of being oneself, or even or finding oneself. It is also a matter of choosing oneself  (Harriet Lerner Quotes) When you can’t see yourself objectively, you won’t see anyone else objectively, either  (Harriet Lerner Quotes) Kids want nothing more than for all the important adults in their life to get along  (Harriet Lerner Quotes) People marry with a deep longing that their partner will tend to their wounds, not throw salt in them. Honor your partner’s vulnerability  (Harriet Lerner Quotes) It’s remarkable how many couples can precisely describe their particular pattern of painful fighting, and claim to be helpless to change it  (Harriet Lerner Quotes) If you want a recipe for relationship failure, just wait for the other person to change first  (Harriet Lerner Quotes) No book or expert can protect us from the range of painful emotions that make us human  (Harriet Lerner Quotes) Your children are not little mirrors reflecting back the good or bad job you’ve done  (Harriet Lerner Quotes) Don’t count on the power of your love or your nagging to create something that wasn’t there to begin with  (Harriet Lerner Quotes) Nothing you say can ensure that the other person will get it, or respond the way you want. You may never exceed his threshold of deafness  (Harriet Lerner Quotes) Fear has never helped anybody make good choices. It leads to clinging when we should be walking  (Harriet Lerner Quotes) Women... have long been discouraged from the awareness and forthright expression of anger. Sugar and spice are the ingredients from which we are made. We are the nurturers, the soothers, the peacemakers, and the steadiers of rocked boats  (Harriet Lerner Quotes)
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