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Funny Valentines Day Quotes

The darkest nights produce the brightest stars
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A girl doesn't need anyone who doesn't need her
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just to be sure
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Men go shopping to buy what they need. Women go shopping to find out what they want
I told you I'll be ready in FIVE minutes, stop calling me every half hour
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What a beautiful world it would be if people had hearts like dogs
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results
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If cats could talk, they wouldn't
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Text Quotes
Do you have a date for Valentine’s day? Yes. February 14th  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) Happy Valentines day. Shut up  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) How I thought Valentine’s Day would turn out. How it actually turned out  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) Missing: This guy. Last seen: February 14th. Presumed dead  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) People who will be my Valentine  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) Valentine's day in Texas  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) Do not touch me  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) I find you perfectly tolerable  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) I’m obsessed with you in a non-creepy way  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) Friend: What are your plans for this Valentine’s? Me: Killing everyone who is asking me this!  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) A man is only as good as what he loves  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) You’d be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap!  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) It’s not the men in my life that count, it’s the life in my men  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; a woman loses hers after four kisses  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) When you’re in love you never really know whether your elation comes from the qualities of the one you love, or if it attributes them to her; whether the light which surrounds her like a halo comes from you, from her, or from the meeting of your sparks.  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) Ever have that one friend who gets a Valentine’s Day gift for their mother? Doens’t that freak you out a little? It’s like, ‘I don’t know how to break this to you but I think she’s banging your dad!’  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) Oh here’s an idea: let’s make pictures of our internal organs and give them to other people we love on Valentine’s Day. That’s not weird at all  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) I love Valentine’s Day. When you’re a kid everyone gets a Valentine. It’s like ‘TO TIM, NICE PANTS, LOVE SCOTT’. It’s Valentines galore!  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) Today is February 14th - St. Valentine’s day. Women call it Love day, while men name it as Extortion day  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) I got a Valentine’s Day card from my girl. It said, ‘Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!’ Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) Women are cursed, and men are the proof  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes)
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