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Funny Relationship Quotes

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My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe  (Funny Relationship Quotes) The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on  (Funny Relationship Quotes) I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people  (Funny Relationship Quotes) I strongly believe that love is the answer and that it can mend even the deepest unseen wounds. Love can heal, love can console, love can strengthen, and yes, love can make change  (Funny Relationship Quotes) I don’t mind my wife having to last word. In fact I’m delighted when she reaches it  (Funny Relationship Quotes) In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?  (Funny Relationship Quotes) What I really need is a woman who loves me for my money but doesn’t understand math  (Funny Relationship Quotes) I do wanna get married. It just sounds great. You get to go grocery shopping together, rent videos, and the kissing and the hugging and the kissing and the hugging under the cozy covers. Mmmm! But sometimes I worry that I don’t wanna get married as much as I want to get dipped in a vat of warm, rising bread dough. That might feel pretty good, too  (Funny Relationship Quotes) A man who correctly guesses a woman’s age may be smart, but he’s not very bright  (Funny Relationship Quotes) When I’m not in a relationship, I shave one leg. That way, when I sleep, it feels like I’m with a woman  (Funny Relationship Quotes) I honestly thought my marriage would work because me and the wife did share a sense of humour. We had to really, because she didn’t have one  (Funny Relationship Quotes) You’re 40 and he’s 22. Do you have to marry him? Couldn’t you just adopt him?  (Funny Relationship Quotes) I’m still going on bad dates when by now I should be in a bad marriage  (Funny Relationship Quotes) Sex and pizza, they say, are similar. When it’s good, it’s good. When it’s bad, you get it on your shirt  (Funny Relationship Quotes) We talk about the quality of product and service. What about the quality of our relationships and the quality of our communications and the quality of our promises to each other?  (Funny Relationship Quotes) Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them  (Funny Relationship Quotes) Marriage is a relationship in which one is always right, and the other is the husband!  (Funny Relationship Quotes) Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships  (Funny Relationship Quotes) Why does a woman work ten years to change a man’s habits and then complain that he’s not the man she married?  (Funny Relationship Quotes) When you struggle with your partner, you are struggling with yourself. Every fault you see in them touches a denied weakness in yourself  (Funny Relationship Quotes) Every person, all the events of your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you  (Funny Relationship Quotes) A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she’s a tramp  (Funny Relationship Quotes) I don’t understand you. You don’t understand me. What else do we have in common?  (Funny Relationship Quotes) It’s no good pretending that any relationship has a future if your record collections disagree violently or if your favorite films wouldn’t even speak to each other if they met at a party  (Funny Relationship Quotes) In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you  (Funny Relationship Quotes) It’s been so long since I made love I can’t even remember who gets tied up  (Funny Relationship Quotes) We love what we love and who we love who we love and why we love why we love and find a falling shoelace knotted and strung between the fingers of strangers  (Funny Relationship Quotes) My mother’s last word to me clanks inside me like an iron bell that someone beats at dinnertime: love, love, love, love, love  (Funny Relationship Quotes) The wedding is where two people become one. The marriage is where they decide which one  (Funny Relationship Quotes) According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about women is their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they’re a bunch of liars  (Funny Relationship Quotes)
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