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Funny Quotes

I told you I'll be ready in FIVE minutes, stop calling me every half hour - Funny Quotes
Money may not buy happiness, but it's better to cry in a Lamborghini - Funny Quotes
I meant to behave but there were too many other options - Funny Quotes
The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary - Work Quotes
A year from now you'll wish you started today - Work Quotes
What a beautiful world it would be if people had hearts like dogs - Dog Quotes
Dogs teach us a lot of things but none more important than to love unconditionally - Dog Quotes
I like me a little bit more when i'm with you - Love Quotes
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Text Quotes
No I don't need anger management. You need to stop pissing me off  (Funny Quotes) I have a feeling that my guardian angel often looks like this  (Funny Quotes) How I look taking a selfie  (Funny Quotes) It's behind me isn't it  (Funny Quotes) If there are no ups and downs in your life it means you are dead  (Funny Quotes) When your ex says "you'll never find anyone like me" reply "that's the point"  (Funny Quotes) Nobody texts faster than a pissed off female  (Funny Quotes) Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer, and my alarm clock is the police  (Funny Quotes) Everyone has at least one unstable friend, i just happen to be that friend  (Funny Quotes) You little rebel. I like you  (Funny Quotes) Diet starts next week  (Funny Quotes) After monday and tuesday even the calendar says W T F  (Funny Quotes) Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything  (Funny Quotes) Dear mind, please stop thinking so much at night, I need to sleep  (Funny Quotes) That awkward moment when you're wearing Nike's and you can't do it  (Funny Quotes) Sometimes I think i'm too picky. Then I watch my dog look for a place to poop  (Funny Quotes) If you think women are the weaker sex try pulling the blankets back to your side  (Funny Quotes) Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206  (Funny Quotes) Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference  (Funny Quotes) Excuse me, here's your nose. I found it in my business  (Funny Quotes) The first step to recovery is admitting you're a dumbass  (Funny Quotes) Pain makes you stronger. Tears make you braver. A broken heart makes you wiser. And alcohol makes you not remember any of that crap  (Funny Quotes) I'm not lazy, i'm just in energy saving mode  (Funny Quotes) Life's a bitch and some days it has puppies  (Funny Quotes) At home: I want to go out, I want friends. When I go out: I want to go home, I hate people.  (Funny Quotes) If you tickle me i'm not responsible for your injuries  (Funny Quotes) I told you I'll be ready in FIVE minutes stop, calling me every half hour  (Funny Quotes) You can't control everything. Your hair was put on your head to remind you of that  (Funny Quotes) My expression when someone states the obvious  (Funny Quotes) Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you're drunk  (Funny Quotes)
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