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Funny Life Quotes

A true friend is someone who accepts your past, supports your present and encourages your future
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Men go shopping to buy what they need. Women go shopping to find out what they want
I meant to behave but there were too many other options
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A girl doesn't need anyone who doesn't need her
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken
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Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results
I like me a little bit more when i'm with you
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Don't look back you're not going that way
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Friendship Quotes Love Quotes Life Quotes Funny Quotes Motivational Quotes Inspirational Quotes
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Text Quotes
A man should control his life. Mine is controlling me  (Funny Life Quotes) Life isn’t a cabaret. It’s a dive bar  (Funny Life Quotes) What fills us is real, sweet, dopey, funny life  (Funny Life Quotes) I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone’s expectations  (Funny Life Quotes) Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim  (Funny Life Quotes) I didn’t believe in reincarnation in my past life, and I still don’t  (Funny Life Quotes) You can live to be a hundred if you give up all things that make you want to live to be a hundred  (Funny Life Quotes) The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women and so little time  (Funny Life Quotes) Every time I get something under control in my own life, the world provides more material  (Funny Life Quotes) I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places  (Funny Life Quotes) Life is not a static thing. The only people who do not change their minds are incompetents in asylums, and those in cemeteries  (Funny Life Quotes) I don’t like driving very much. That makes me very unhappy, because I scream a lot in the car, but other than that, life is actually pretty good  (Funny Life Quotes) Life is a crowded superhighway with bewildering cloverleaf exits on which a man is liable to find himself speeding back in the direction he came  (Funny Life Quotes) You’ll be richer in the end than a prince, if you’re a friend  (Funny Life Quotes) So, if you feel a smile begin, don’t leave it undetected, let’s start an epidemic quick, and get the world infected!  (Funny Life Quotes) The hardest thing about life is that every now and then you have to do things so you have something to tweet about  (Funny Life Quotes) If life is just a highway, then the soul is just a car. And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are  (Funny Life Quotes) If you can’t control your peanut butter, you can’t expect to control your life  (Funny Life Quotes) Often it takes some calamity to make us live in the present. Then suddenly we wake up and see all the mistakes we have made  (Funny Life Quotes) It’s a funny life. Either you don’t make a red cent and you have all the time in the world, or else you get double the money and you don’t have a moment to spend a penny of it  (Funny Life Quotes) The most important thing to do in your life is to not interfere with somebody else’s life  (Funny Life Quotes) Life... is like a grapefruit. It’s orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast  (Funny Life Quotes) Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home  (Funny Life Quotes) I was wise enough to never grow up while fooling most people into believing I had  (Funny Life Quotes) If you wish to forget anything on the spot, make a note that this thing is to be remembered  (Funny Life Quotes) Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?  (Funny Life Quotes) There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo  (Funny Life Quotes) Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out  (Funny Life Quotes) The gods throw the dice and they don’t ask whether we want to be in the game or not  (Funny Life Quotes) All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it  (Funny Life Quotes)
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