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Funny Joke Quotes

All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me Picture Quote #1

There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes Picture Quote #1

Life is funny, baby, and that’s no joke Picture Quote #1

A rich man’s joke is always funny Picture Quote #1

I’m used to explaining to people why my jokes were funny Picture Quote #1

It’s hard for a comic to be joking when your lines can’t be funny Picture Quote #1

You had me at hello

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The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why

I was worried on a personal level because I wanted to be slightly taller than I am, ideally. But I’ve now accepted it. Basically, I came to the conclusion a while ago that you can either be really bitter about it or you can make loads of funny jokes Picture Quote #1

Mama is funny. She has a great sense of humor and loves a good joke. Loves a practical joke, too Picture Quote #1

Every particle being connected with every other; you can’t fart without changing the balance in the universe. It makes living a funny joke with nobody around to laugh Picture Quote #1

It’s like love making, the foreplay is the biggest part, the same thing as comedy. If you can frame your show in such a way that the funny jokes become funnier Picture Quote #1

I think my sense of humor is really dark and super twisted and stuff like that. It’s like, Is this a funny joke for real? Or am I just rich? See? That was funny Picture Quote #1

We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke Picture Quote #1

Dogs teach us a lot of things but none more important than to love unconditionally

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I told you I'll be ready in FIVE minutes, stop calling me every half hour

A joke is either funny or it’s not funny. If I hear a funny joke, you know what I do? I laugh, that’s what I do. I don’t start a focus group to see who got hurt by the joke Picture Quote #1

At the time, it was a really funny joke [Fluffy] and I went back and forth with going against the joke or embrace it. I decided to embrace it and now we’re talking about it, so it was a good call Picture Quote #1

It’s all a joke! Everything anybody ever valued or struggled for... it’s all a monstrous, demented gag! So why can’t you see the funny side? Why aren’t you laughing? Picture Quote #1

It’s probably not a good idea to be chewing on a toothpick if you’re talking to the president, because what if he tells a funny joke and you laugh so hard you spit the toothpick out and it hits him in the face or something Picture Quote #1

I’m terrible at practical jokes. I do them too well, so they’re not funny. I end up saying, ‘Oh, no, I’m joking, I’m joking.’ Picture Quote #1

Since I was a kid, I could make up stories, I could make up funny jokes and I could always do it. When I’m walking down the street or having dinner, ideas will hit me, and I write them down on matchbooks or napkins and throw them in the draw Picture Quote #1

If cats could talk, they wouldn't

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When we first met, i had no idea you would be so important to me

It’s harder when people are playing along, because it’s just not as funny. They’re trying to be funny, and it sort of cancels out the whole joke Picture Quote #1

I joke around a lot about the manic times because they’re funny. We manics do outrageous things and it is part of our colorful nature Picture Quote #1

If a playwright is funny, the English look for a serious message, and if he’s serious, they look for a joke Picture Quote #1

You can’t just explain a joke. Either it isn’t funny, or the person just totally missed the punchline Picture Quote #1

If you work at comedy too laboriously, you can kill what’s funny in the joke Picture Quote #1

I’m not too keen on jokes that are one-liners. I want the situation to be funny Picture Quote #1

I like me a little bit more when i'm with you

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Be yourself; everyone else is already taken

If you think something’s funny, go with that. Most comedians pull jokes from a place of honesty Picture Quote #1

I have a lot of funny friends, and we joke a lot, but I’ve never really played comedic parts Picture Quote #1

I had a couple of decent laughs on Townies, but for the most part, delivering a joke that you just know is not funny is hard Picture Quote #1

Norbit operates on the principle that vulgarity is automatically funny. Crassness doesn’t need a joke attached because it is (in and of itself) the height of hilarity Picture Quote #1

A joke is a way to say, ‘I’m going to do something funny now. If I don’t get a laugh at the end, I’m a failure.’ Picture Quote #1

I often fake my death and then just show up at people’s houses. They say ‘that’s a good one Thom’ but I know maybe they don’t really think it’s a funny joke Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me (Funny Joke Quotes) There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes (Funny Joke Quotes) Life is funny, baby, and that’s no joke (Funny Joke Quotes) A rich man’s joke is always funny (Funny Joke Quotes) I’m used to explaining to people why my jokes were funny (Funny Joke Quotes) It’s hard for a comic to be joking when your lines can’t be funny (Funny Joke Quotes) I was worried on a personal level because I wanted to be slightly taller than I am, ideally. But I’ve now accepted it. Basically, I came to the conclusion a while ago that you can either be really bitter about it or you can make loads of funny jokes. (Funny Joke Quotes) Mama is funny. She has a great sense of humor and loves a good joke. Loves a practical joke, too. (Funny Joke Quotes) Every particle being connected with every other; you can’t fart without changing the balance in the universe. It makes living a funny joke with nobody around to laugh. (Funny Joke Quotes) It’s like love making, the foreplay is the biggest part, the same thing as comedy. If you can frame your show in such a way that the funny jokes become funnier. (Funny Joke Quotes) I think my sense of humor is really dark and super twisted and stuff like that. It’s like, Is this a funny joke for real? Or am I just rich? See? That was funny. (Funny Joke Quotes) We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke. (Funny Joke Quotes) A joke is either funny or it’s not funny. If I hear a funny joke, you know what I do? I laugh, that’s what I do. I don’t start a focus group to see who got hurt by the joke. (Funny Joke Quotes) At the time, it was a really funny joke [Fluffy] and I went back and forth with going against the joke or embrace it. I decided to embrace it and now we’re talking about it, so it was a good call. (Funny Joke Quotes) It’s all a joke! Everything anybody ever valued or struggled for... it’s all a monstrous, demented gag! So why can’t you see the funny side? Why aren’t you laughing? (Funny Joke Quotes) It’s probably not a good idea to be chewing on a toothpick if you’re talking to the president, because what if he tells a funny joke and you laugh so hard you spit the toothpick out and it hits him in the face or something. (Funny Joke Quotes) I’m terrible at practical jokes. I do them too well, so they’re not funny. I end up saying, ‘Oh, no, I’m joking, I’m joking.’ (Funny Joke Quotes) Since I was a kid, I could make up stories, I could make up funny jokes and I could always do it. When I’m walking down the street or having dinner, ideas will hit me, and I write them down on matchbooks or napkins and throw them in the draw. (Funny Joke Quotes) It’s harder when people are playing along, because it’s just not as funny. They’re trying to be funny, and it sort of cancels out the whole joke. (Funny Joke Quotes) I joke around a lot about the manic times because they’re funny. We manics do outrageous things and it is part of our colorful nature. (Funny Joke Quotes) If a playwright is funny, the English look for a serious message, and if he’s serious, they look for a joke. (Funny Joke Quotes) You can’t just explain a joke. Either it isn’t funny, or the person just totally missed the punchline. (Funny Joke Quotes) If you work at comedy too laboriously, you can kill what’s funny in the joke (Funny Joke Quotes) I’m not too keen on jokes that are one-liners. I want the situation to be funny. (Funny Joke Quotes) If you think something’s funny, go with that. Most comedians pull jokes from a place of honesty. (Funny Joke Quotes) I have a lot of funny friends, and we joke a lot, but I’ve never really played comedic parts (Funny Joke Quotes) I had a couple of decent laughs on Townies, but for the most part, delivering a joke that you just know is not funny is hard. (Funny Joke Quotes) Norbit operates on the principle that vulgarity is automatically funny. Crassness doesn’t need a joke attached because it is (in and of itself) the height of hilarity (Funny Joke Quotes) A joke is a way to say, ‘I’m going to do something funny now. If I don’t get a laugh at the end, I’m a failure.’ (Funny Joke Quotes) I often fake my death and then just show up at people’s houses. They say ‘that’s a good one Thom’ but I know maybe they don’t really think it’s a funny joke (Funny Joke Quotes)

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